Soon the surrender monkeys won’t have any cheese left to eat


The cheese eating surrender monkeys are in a spot of bother…someone is stealing their cheese.

Farmers in France are being driven crackers after thieves launched a string of raids to steal wheels of cheese.

With consumer demand high in the run-up to Christmas, criminal gangs have spotted a lucrative opportunity.

More than four tons of Comte cheese, worth at least €40,000 ($65,855), were recently stolen from a renowned producer in eastern France near the Swiss border. The burglars cut through a barbed wire fence at night to enter the Napiot dairy in Goux-les-Usiers and loaded a truck with 100 90lb (41kg) “wheels” of the cheese which the family has been making since 1860.

A police source said: “The newspapers are calling it a record theft, but there have been at least two other thefts of similar quantities of cheese in recent times. The cheesemakers decided not to make their misfortune public.”

Comte, a hard cheese made exclusively with the milk of Montbeliarde or French Simmental cows, has a distinctive nutty, slightly sweet flavour and retails for €10 to €40 per kg, making it just as valuable to thieves as some jewellery or electrical goods.   

The cheese has an Appellation d’Origine Controlee (AOC) certification as its quality is strictly monitored. Any sub-standard batch cannot be sold as Comte and must be labelled as the less distinguished Gruyere variety.

Police nicknamed the thieves the “meules” or millstone gang – referring to the flat circular “wheels” in which Comte is produced.

Claude Vermot-Desroches, head of the cheese’s trade body Comite Interprofessionnel de Gestion du Comte, said it is hard to sell the stolen cheese in normal retail situations so much of it disappears on to the black market.

“Shops are obliged to keep documentation showing the provenance and quality of cheeses… and certificates of sale,” Vermot-Desroches said. “There must be an illicit distribution network.”

Each “wheel’ has its producer’s mark embedded in the rind but Vermot-Desroches said market traders often cut Comte into wedges before displaying it, removing the maker’s label.

Rising rural thefts have prompted farmers and cheesemakers to instal CCTV cameras and motion sensors and to set up “surveillance networks”.

To paraphrase Pink Floyd…If they don’t have any cheese how will they surrender.


– The Telegraph

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.