South African born Journo wants you to think about becoming Australian

It was a bit of a toss-up.  Is she poking the borax?   But then she calls breaking the law “a loophole”, so I guess we’ll have to take this lot of madness seriously as well.

Taking up the offer to become part of Australia could be a good thing.

The generous offer is renewed every few years, and this time it’s from a North Queensland senator who thought it a crafty way of putting a sock in complaining Kiwis.

It works like this: Australia gives Kiwis living over the ditch permission to access welfare support, medical help and, you know, other things their taxes pay for. In return, Kiwis give Australia everything we’ve got. Everything. Our whole country.

Relax. This could work. For a start, think of the money.

Australians earn way more than we do – their minimum wage is 20 per cent higher than ours – but life in Townsville is far cheaper than in Timaru.

Alleviating your Sunday hangover with a full packet of 24 painkillers – not recommended – will set you back $7.50 here.

Over there, the packet only costs about $5.

Now, extend the same logic to everything else in your grocery basket, that new car you want to buy and all the booze you drank last night and you will soon be rolling in wads of spare Australian cash.

Next, consider the world domination of sports we could achieve. We suck at swimming but they’ve got a swag of Olympic medals for the sport.

They’ve got the Cricket World Cup. We’ve got the Rugby World Cup. We’d score fighter jets, they’d score actual ownership of Phar Lap, Russell Crowe and Crowded House.

The thing that may surprise you is that loads of Kiwis don’t mind the idea of an Australasian union.

A survey five years ago found one in four of us quite liked the idea. For the rest of you, maybe you’re just looking at this the wrong way.

Don’t consider what Australia can do for us. Consider what we can do for them. In 1901, Australia’s six colonies joined to form a country. They invited us to join them.

The offer is still there in the constitution. In the list of possible Australian states, squeezed between New South Wales and Queensland, in black and white, is New Zealand.

The story goes that we said “thanks but no thanks” to Australia because of the way it treated its indigenous people. We didn’t want them to treat Maori the same.

So, for the next year Australia flirted with us like mad. Trying to impress us with their new-found tolerance, Australia gave Maori the vote in 1902.

When we couldn’t be wooed, their goodwill died. It was another 60 years before Aboriginal Australians got the vote.

So think about all the things we could affect now if we pretend we’ll sign up as states seven and eight.


It will never work.

There is no way that Australia and New Zealand would put together a unified rugby team, and the Black Caps would be reduced to having 1 or 2 people in the Aussie side at best.

HDPA is looking at how we would be better off.   Would we?

Look how Kiwis are treated over there?   Look at the way NZ apples have been kept out even though we signed an economic trade deal that required Australia to accept them.

Let’s be fair – we rate somewhere below Australians and above Aboriginals.  Even Tasmanians would look down on us.

It’ll never work.

And we proudly jilted them.  Let’s play hard to get for another couple of centuries at least.


– Heather du Plessis-Allan, NZ Herald

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.