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  • Nechtan

    Born today in 1942 Mike Vickers original guitarist for Manfred Mann.

    Born today in 1944 Skip Spence guitarist with Moby Grape and the original drummer with Jefferson Airplane.

    Today in 1972 The Pipes and Drums of The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards went to number 1 on the UK singles chart with “Amazing Grace”. It would stay at number 1 for 5 weeks and sell over 7 million copies by 1977.

    • Oarsum

      I could never figure out why this Moby Grape song was called Omaha

  • Carl

    Couldn’t agree more. (pic)

    • Mark

      Everyone starts from a base of “I hate you all equally.”

      • willtin

        But Mark, we all Love you. What say you now?

        • Mark

          That gets you 1/2 a point,which you loose for a lack of sincerity.
          Sincerity,once you can fake that you’ve got it made!

  • Nige.

    Dumb do-do answered last night’s question with:

    ” tales about the joys of working”

    Do you have any funny or interesting anecdotes from work?

    • ex-JAFA

      Many! But my most recent one resulted in a formal written warning for the other party today, so I’d better stay schtum.

    • Mark

      Yep,unable to share,ever.
      The cops do not have better work stories is all I can say.
      Yeah,that’s mean & a cop out…

    • ex-JAFA

      Okay, this one is years old and only involves me, so is safe to tell.

      One day, I was working with contact adhesive (aerosol glue) and needed to take a break for a wee. I quickly discovered that I’d glued my hand to a part of my anatomy. I was found “humping” a hand basin trying to melt the glue with hot water. It worked, but not before 180-odd people had been told by the guy who sprang me.

      • Huia

        Gee, ex-JAFA, any photo’s to share with your mates on here?
        Did people believe the glue excuse or were they more onto it than that?

        • Dave

          The visual picture will be etched into my memory for a long time, and it will suffice thanks.

    • Huia

      Famous impersonator came into the hotel, had dinner and was drinking with his boyfriend/manager in the house bar.
      Impersonator took a shine to a gay wine steward, boyfriend objected and they ended up having a fight, full on punching, slapping, squealing and swearing.
      Very funny to watch but the wine steward was staggered this was all happening over him.
      Manager dropped dead with a heart attack.
      Minders rushed Impersonator out and got him to Auckland on a plane they hired, before the news broke.
      Media hunted the Impersonator down who was apparently staying at a hotel in Auckland(far removed) from his manager and all that had happened.
      He expressed his dismay at the untimely demise of the boyfriend/manager, saying what a shock it had been and how he never got the chance to say goodbye.
      Hotel staff were sworn to secrecy.

      • willtin

        There’s something Fawlty about that story! Nice one Huia.

    • Disinfectant

      A seasonal employee who was hmmmm o.k. but thought they were really good.
      Now wants a reference. hmmmmm, what do I do?

      • Carl

        My current boss refused to look at any reference I had as he said it would only say how good you were or it wouldn’t be in there. A month trial was all he needed to see if people had what it takes.

        • biscuit barrel

          I used to write my own for the GM to sign, they are busy people

    • Huia

      Have so many stories after working in the Hotel industry for so many years.
      Conference in full swing in the conference centre.
      Very Posh well known, well educated woman guest speaker, she was dressed to the nines and an utter cow to the staff, spoke with such a plum we peasants could hardly understand her.
      Much to well bred and stuck up to even be pleasant to the staff.
      Okay, food done, speeches done, band in full swing, well lubricated dancers giving it their all.
      Time for the staff to have their dinner.
      We head to the dressing room where we used to eat and have our break, but the door wouldn’t open. We all tried everything while balancing our plates in one hand. Door would open an inch then thump, it would stop. We tried to force it and finally got it open a couple more inches to find Banquet manager doing the deed with Posh snooty tart on her back on the floor.
      Yep, door had been hitting her head and that was what the dull thumping sound was.
      Staff all sniggered when she came out carrying parts of her clothing.
      Not so upper crust now are we sweetie?

    • Dave

      Setting. Early 90’s, Golden sheers hotel Masterton. It was a nice hotel then, until a colleague decided to go for a swim naked around midnight. A mate collected all the hand towels and loo paper from the toilets, and once that was done, we grabbed his clothes and scarpered. He had to run through every corridor in the place to get to reception and ask for a room key. Unfortunately, they didn’t see the funny part and lent him a towel, and escorted him to his room.. no long term harm was done.

    • Dave

      Rotorua, again early 90’s National Conference at flash as hotel, and as a recently promoted manager I had a suite, We were sharing rooms, and I ended up with the nerd of our group sharing with me. We had a group project to do that evening, and present in the morning, so we decided to to meet after dinner, 10.00 pm in my room. I got back a few minutes late, to their credit my team was almost all lined up outside, as I had a trolley full of refreshments one of the team grabbed my keys to open. There was the nerd of the group spread eagle on the bed enjoying himself, not a sheet in place to retain any modesty. We never saw him again, he resigned the next day.

    • XCIA

      Far from the joys of working, this fellow looks like he’s won Lotto – I wonder if he shared it with his Whānau ;-)

    • Richard

      I once worked with an older guy, who picked up a Gingernut off the floor and used it for a window packer!

      • Nige.

        Yaknow….I just might have to use that idea.

        • Richard

          Make sure you drill through it though, or else it will crack.

          • Nige.

            That sure is a cheap box of packers/shims.

  • Wasapilot

    Watching One news, John Key inChina looking at the FTA we have with them. I am trying to imagine little, robertson, adern and co would be like in his place. Unimaginable.

    • Jude

      They lack the diplomacy and business skills necessary in today’s global market.I think the general public can see this and no amount of reshuffling, re branding or re-engaging with the public, is going to change that fact!

      • biscuit barrel

        By the time they have been through a couple more leaders, they might just ask Key to stay ‘for a while’ if they win the election.

        • Jude

          I cannot see them winning an election.
          A coalition between National and Labour whereby National ministers”train” their Labour counterparts, is sadly unrealistic.
          Labour and unions and their own blinkered view of the world , make the demise of Labour inevitable.

    • willtin

      I tend to do (and talk about) the same thing. And think, would Angry be waving his own Red Flag? Would Robertson impress the Chinese with his strength of presence? And who brought their Missus? That wasn’t in the rules??

      • Larry


    • Gaynor

      You are so right it is unimaginable….in fact trying to imagine any of them representing NZ is just plain scary.

  • DemocKot

    Give that man a DB.
    Well here is a Russian version…relatesd to womans day on Marhc 8th each year
    SIgn :Give the woman that you love Vodka

  • kiwisnab

    Has anyone seen audience figures for 3 news and Campbell on Radio New Zealand? I have switched to One news since News Hub started and I now no longer listen to the 5 pm show on Radio New Zealand since Campbell started.

    • Usaywot

      Nor do I, so that’s two down that we know of.

    • STAG

      I simply refuse to listen to Check Point on RNZ anymore, that little peice of toadyism has lost them a regular.

  • Oarsum

    I didn’t know until today that the expression “losing my religion ” is a southern USA one that means – losing your temper or being at the end of your rope

  • MaryLou

    I wonder why the Israelis chose to hold a cabinet meeting in th Golan Heights now of all times. What are they thinking? That now is a good time to provoke Syria, whilst it’s somewhat preoccupied?


    • Isherman

      The reality was probably not in real question, however I’m not sure what it achieves right now, by being declared in the way that it has by Bibi. A quiet heads up to the other major powers involved would have achieved nothing less.

      • MaryLou

        Yes, somewhat provocative I thought. Needlessly so. Unless now seems to them a good time to… provoke something?

        • Isherman

          The two countries are still technically at war anyway. A long term presence up to the current line of control was always beyond question, and this is the area referred to.
          While the Syrian talks are going on and nobody else was talking about it, it inserts Israel into the discussion about the Syrian issue quite needlessly.

    • MaryLou
      • Isherman

        The threats from the north are essentially Hezbollah, and potentially IS elements in areas even remotely close to the borders inside Syria. Hezbollah, as Assad’s allay have sought a strategic foothold in the Syrian Golan for some time, both in support of Assad, but more importantly, a second front to compliment its forces in southern Lebanon right on Israels most strategically important point between them and Syria.
        At the moment I don’t think Hezbollah are quite in the mood for it, and it will be a heavy operation, so it will be fairly quiet for a while.

  • Oarsum

    I also read that the full title for the Statue of Liberty is “Liberty Enlightening the World”.
    Represents the Roman goddess Libertas. “In true allegorical manner, the statue’s function is didactic, announcing to all arrivals in New York harbour the principles on which the state they are about to enter, is founded”

  • MaryLou

    Now here’s a loophole that’s worth exploiting. Be of good cheer Auckland, there is hope yet!


    • Sally

      Maybe a North Shore breakaway group needs to be formed as well.

      • MaryLou

        Well, one opens the door for many, it could yet splinter back into 100 pieces. Maybe time for National to sit up and take this a wee bit more seriously?

      • Bluemanning

        A north Shore council resurrection would be a winner.

    • Aucky

      I would not discount this move as being organised by a few disgruntled farmers. North Rodney encompasses Omaha, Matakana & Tawharanui which probably counts the greatest concentration of the wealthiest and some of the most influential people in the country as residents during the holiday months. They pay massive rates and receive very little from Auckland City.

      • Nermal

        I remember they were so keen to join Kaipara District, until the Mangawhai Sewage Scheme scandal put paid to that.

  • Nige.

    Irish wolfhound with sub woofers.

    • Disinfectant

      And the joke was; what do you call a Chinese designed stereo system assembled in Ireland?

    • geoff3012


  • Pluto

    April version of INCITE has landed.
    Congrats for another great read. This gets better and better.

    • Wasapilot

      I never knew about the net approval ratings before Incite. A great read, and the article on FREED is a breath of fresh air.

    • Greg M

      A very interesting issue. Farrar’s polling is on the money as always, and while I rarely agree with his political leaning, Chris Trotter’s piece was a good and well written read too.

  • MaryLou

    All sorts popping up tonight – an article on “Dirty Big Green”. Reads as it obviously comes from a set viewpoint and I have never encountered the publication, nonetheless, worth a squizz….


    • Moonroof

      Hmm. Interesting read, thanks for link. The Green debate continues to baffle.

  • Wasapilot

    60 minutes on prime, starting now. Piece on euro migrants

    • STAG

      Utter rubbish, argued with Mrs STAG, I won, we swooped channels.

    • hookerphil

      Those journalists are so pathetic, if there had been some half good journalism in the past years they would have known exactly how roughly they would have been treated.

      • Wasapilot

        At least they are showing the seedy side of these migrants, including the no go areas in Stockholm I guess HP.

    • Mick Ie

      Other half has just been yelling at the tv shouting at the journos to react to the immigrants violence with reciprocal behaviour (makes a pleasant change, as it’s usually me)!
      And to think we might land up with their mentality and attitude here (the immigrants that is, not the reporters (if they’re not here already))…

  • Jimmie

    Ok, so in desperation the Labour Caucus decides last week to give Andrew Little the freedom to become more aggressive (aka go full retard) in attacking Key and National.

    Several thoughts:

    1 Is this a case of the herd forcing the weakest link out in the open as a sacrifice to save the herd?

    1a. Or possibly forcing the smallest kid in the school to be the starting tackler in bullrush and make him face the biggest/fastest kid first up?

    2 As mentioned earlier is Little’s dragging up a 3 year old donation/contract today the first step in this aggression?

    3 It seems to be, that when you demand the highest standards from your opponent, (Key) you better make sure you personally meet that standard otherwise you are stand rightly condemned as a hypocrite.

    Why did Little choose to accuse Key of dodging taxes when his own right hand man is self admitted of doing the same?

    4 If Insanity is repeating behaviour and expecting different results, and Labour have spent 10 years attacking Key and getting no where, does this mean Little’s decision to up his anti of attacking Key mean that men in white coats should be heading his way?

    5 When this strategy fails over the next few months (as it surely will) what excuses will the left come up with when Labour hits 25% and Little 5%? Are there any excuses left? Are the activists capable of ever seeing reason? I don’t think so.

    • dumbshit

      Well the “two Ronnies”, have passed away now. Another source of dry humour is needed!

  • Hard1

    The Nats could do NZ a favour by ordering new offshore patrol boats from Australia.
    “The West Australian premier says the state’s share in a $3 billion contract to build 12 navy patrol boats is a “great win. We have the most effective and efficient shipbuilding industry in the nation and yet we’re getting a tiny proportion of the shipbuilding contracts,” he told reporters.
    “Mr Barnett also noted Perth-based company Austal had been selected to construct and maintain up to 21 replacement patrol boats in a contract valued at $500 million and expected to create about 130 jobs”

    Certainly wouldn’t have to go far for parts, and nothing secondhand and unsuitable.

    • Miss Phit

      Not utilising what we have now. Missmanagement and cutting costs over the last 15 years has buggered the navy (actually all branches of the forces – police incl)

    • biscuit barrel

      Are you joking last lot were built in Aussie, very poor standard of workmanship and structural weaknesses.

      • johnandali

        When I worked for the Navy some years ago, I was told that the patrol boats were not suitable for southern ocean work, due to the different sizes and frequencies of the waves in the southern hemisphere, compared with the northern hemisphere where they were designed. I have no reason to doubt the truth of that.

        • Greg M

          Yep, they were the old ‘lake class” patrol boats built by Vosper Thornycroft in the UK. The other big problem they had was that while the two Paxman 3000hp engines were grunty and reliable the fuel consumption was horrendous. In real life that meant that by the time you got out to the 200 mile EEZ limit, you had to turn around and head back.

      • Hard1

        You’re on the mark, but who decided to go with Transfield just because they were cheapest. Was it Goff?

        Pukaki was built in Whangarei by Transfield (Tenix)
        HMNZS Manawanui, built as a diving support vessel, the Star Perseus, for North Sea oil rig operations.
        HMNZS Hawea built by BAE systems Australia

        Otago. Transfield (Tenix)The Otago suffered delays in delivery. In late 2008, it became known that the vessel was not considered to meet all contract specifications, and exceeded her design displacement. The initial crew stationed in Melbourne to commission the vessel returned to New Zealand while the build was completed. On 18 February 2010, the ship was accepted into the RNZN after the builders claimed that being slightly overweight would not stop her from patrolling in Antarctic waters. In mid March 2010, the vessel developed problems in both engines during sea trials, and had to limp back into port in Australia, instead of arriving in Auckland as originally planned. HMNZS Otago eventually arrived in Auckland in April 2010, nearly two years after the original target date.

        HMNZS Wellington. Transfield (Tenix)

        HMNZS Rotoiti . She was fitted out in Whangarei and on 20 November 2007 started contractor sea trials. After delays due to problems with gear and fittings, she was commissioned on 17 April 2009

        HMNZS Taupo. Another Transfield (Tenix NZ) ship which is useless in rough seas.

        Never, ever get anything built by Transfield (Tenix)

  • dumbshit

    They are seeking the “dead cat bounce”, it would seem. Cannot fault their optimism!

  • Keanne Lawrence

    Thanks to a Google headline exposing a very big serving of baloney from a Jane Doe. Friend of Tarzan perhaps.
    Tired Government is claimed to be the reason Bill English told it like it is and some unemployed are “hopeless”. Poor creature has a serious rant not worth more than a glance with the normal Media party slant in the absence of any serious knowledge of economics or just how hopeless some really are.
    It is not the Government that is tired but the majority are fed up with pink tinged views that must surely be to fill the required word quota. Short on facts but with an abundance of confusion not unlike the Labour policy cupboard.
    As the number of unemployed continue to drop it is getting to the dregs who may never have worked or are likely to try it. This is nothing new since it was the same back in the day when registered recipients of the hand-out were required to report every 2 weeks. No show meant no doe.
    Most acknowledged the straightforward term used by Bill English while not PC enough for the rose tinted listener was 100% accurate and echoed the man in the street who might have added a tinge of blue words to reinforce their opinion.