Even for God to keep up He has to embrace the Internet


via www.mitcholson.co.nz

The Church of Scotland is meeting this week to consider allowing online communions and baptisms, and how they might work.

“We are responding to where we find ourselves in society in a positive and engaging way,” vice-convener of the Mission and Discipleship Council Norman Smith told UK paper the Daily Mail.

“It shows that the Church is not behind the times.”

The Church of Scotland belongs to the Protestant branch of Christianity, which has traditionally been more open to change than Catholicism. Massey University religious historian Peter Lineham says it’s a replay of a “very ancient rift” between the two.

“The Catholic notion is that it’s impossible to have online baptisms or online communion, because by definition somebody’s got to be the intermediary between you and the divinity. But in the Protestant notion of the flattened experience… everybody can participate for themselves.”

He says it’s not as strange a move as it might seem, with other religious movements finding “stunning” success in using social media and television to reach followers.

And on the 8th Day, God created the Internet, and he saw it was good.

Televangelists have long used media to reap “huge amounts” of money, with Prof Lineham saying many followers’ primary experience of church is sitting in front of their televisions.

And that’s not to mention Islamic State, whose use of social media belies its otherwise medieval outlook on life.

Across the English Channel, Protestant churches in Germany are now offering free Wi-Fi hotspots, or “godspots”.

But is on online baptism taking it a little too far? Prof Lineham says it won’t replace the traditional dunking, but there’s a place for it.

“It’s way out on the fringe and I doubt it could ever exist by itself. It’s like an extension of something that’s real, but there are points in one’s life where the virtual substitutes for the real and has its place.”

This whole thing refreshes the idea of the Church of Whaleoil.  Tax free donations.  No taxes at all in fact.  And you can all come here daily for the sermon and your absolution for having stray thoughts about Labour or Green policies.

And I like the idea of Whalespots.  Free WiFi where all you can get is Whaleoil, and all other media are blocked for my disciples’ peace and salvation.


– Daily Mail via Newshub


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  • Keyser Soze

    Where do I convert?

    • Goldie

      Like a lot of us here in the ‘congregation’, you probably don’t need converting? ;)

      • Keyser Soze

        Yeah but we could make it a thing. Baptisms held at Hamner Springs spa. Weekend retreat out on the boat or fishing at Taupo followed by a quiet ale in the local stonemasons building?

        • Goldie

          I like the way you think!

  • WeaselKiss

    Yikes! !
    Reading this, had a sudden vision of what (cough) ‘The Pope’ of the new Whaleoil Church might look like.
    Couldn’t decide what form, for instance, the ceremonial hat might take, or for that matter how would ‘the stick’ be shaped for this one.
    Had to wrench head away from the screen and shake it vigorously.
    Got up to make a cup-a-soup.
    (the robes I can get: black and white, a no-brainer).

    • Uncle Bully

      Then there’s the garb of Bishop Pete and the Holy Moderators.

  • rua kenana

    I guess while they’re about it they can offer downloads of plans for their 3D printers to print circumcision devices to chop up the genitals of their male (and female) children to ensure the Lord’s work that he failed to do himself is carried out.

  • sandalwood789

    “And so it came to pass that Cam Slater didst set up a blog site and he sayeth to the people “come forth and partake of the news and entertainment”. And lo, the masses didst partake and saw that it was good.
    And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the mainstream media. “Readers! Why have you forsaken us?” sayeth they. But they were not heard and thus they crumbled into the dust from whence they came.”
    – Slater 2:15

    • Keyser Soze

      Best WO post ever! Period.

  • R&BAvenger

    Meantime, if you venture into the Church of the left wing blog or msm websites, it comes with the warning “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”