I love ducks too, they’re delicious

Some womble from Waikato University wants to ban duck shooting…because she loves ducks.

Well I love ducks too; that’s why I shoot them. They’re delicious.

I read the recent promotion of duck shooting advertisement in the Herald on Sunday with disquiet. You see, I have always been one to stick up for the underdog (in this case the underduck). The duck certainly needs an ally. It’s not as if they can build trenches in the wetlands and shoot back at the hunters.

I’ll begin with a story. As with all good stories there are two sides. In this case there is the duck and the hunter. I am interested in the duck’s side. Let’s make this more personal and imagine two paradise ducks. They are endemic to New Zealand, but it is legal to shoot them during duck-shooting season, as long as you adhere to bag limits and have a permit.

The female duck is a beautiful chestnut with a pure white head. She partners for life with a male, who is dark grey with a black head. Visualise them, if you will, sleeping contentedly, their heads tucked beneath their wings awaiting the sunrise.

As the sun rises and they take to the air, the glint of the rays sparkling on water droplets clinging to their chestnut and dark grey feathers. And then a crack. Yelps of human joy as a one of the ducks falls wounded back to the water, her neck arching in spasms and her legs peddling awkwardly.

A splash as the hunter’s dog wades in to retrieve the hapless duck in her death throes. She is placed in a bag. The first of many on opening day, May 1, 2016.

I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that the duck did not want to die, and will be mourned by her partner for the rest of his life.

But it’s all good fun isn’t it? It’s woven into the very cultural fabric of rural life. Duck hunters have planned for this, lived for it all year.

Yep, and I am packing my gear at this moment, giving the guns a good clean and lubrication, and making sure I have spares, chokes, ammo and decoys all ready. I’m also going after plenty of pheasants this season, and quail. This year opening day is going to be awesome and I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks.

The opening of the duck hunting season is upon us again. Lights go on at campsites, hotels and houses even before sunrise. Jovial banter barely contains the mounting excitement and coffee flows freely amid the pre-dawn preparations for the day. Meanwhile, the silence of a nearby wetland shrouded in damp fog is eerie in its innocence.

The duck shooters say that theirs is a cultural activity, a legitimate sport, an opportunity for an outing in the great outdoors with mates and family. By shooting ducks, they say, they limit populations and help to conserve and create ecosystems, and using “nature’s supermarket” to feed themselves.

Such is the logic of “environment management”-speak, that authoritative voice that declares humans can beat nature at her own game and somehow continue to destruct even while we created the problem of ecosystem and habitat loss in the first place.

Tom Biebighauser was quoted in the Timaru Herald as saying, “Over 95 per cent of the wetlands in New Zealand were drained or dried up. Now they are some of our rarest and most at-risk ecosystems”.

The remaining wetlands will favour species such as the mallard and paradise shelduck as these are more adaptable. People may be surprised to learn that three species of native duck are allowed to be slaughtered by duck shooters. This leads to further biodiversity loss.

We really need to step back and take a more holistic view of “environmental management”. We need to prioritise restoration of wetlands, rather than killing the ducks blamed for overpopulating the small amount of habitat left. It is a cruel sport, with one in four ducks not killed outright by the bullet but crippled, maimed or paralysed, and left to die a horrible death from wounds or starvation.

We’re better than this aren’t we?

I bet this tart is a vegan. With attitudes like that she could hardly eat any sort of meat. It is a well-known fact that for meat to end up on your plate something has to die. The only difference between hunters and non-hunters is that hunters actively participate in the process from harvesting to the plate while non-hunters outsource the messy parts to professionals like abatoirs and butchers.

If any politician thinks they are going to try to ban hunting then they can know this…they go on my target list for ensuring that they never get elected again. There is no mitigation from this policy.

As for Lynley Tulloch and her lunacy, she nearly caused a disaster as I was reading her stupid article on the bog and such was my rage I nearly wiped my arse with the iPad. One of the few times I wished I had a paper version of the Herald.


– NZ Herald


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  • Rusty B

    Wipe my arse with the iPad…Classic.
    I spotted a bumper sticker once and it said “I love animals…they are delicious” Classic.

  • Wayne Hodge

    Who is this woman? Apart from anything else preserving mallard!
    Ducks are superb. No hunter would wipe ducks out. Her views are bizarre and typical of an out of touch academic.

    • coventry



      Lynley Tulloch | HAMILTON
      (University of Waikato)
      BA (Dip. Montessori), MEd (Massey University)

      Lynley Tulloch is a Lecturer in Education and PhD candidate at the
      University of Waikato where she teaches in Environmental and
      Sustainability Education. Educated in the New Zealand, Lynley’s research
      and publication interests have been concerned with issues of the
      relationship between humans and other animals, environmental and
      sustainability education, children’s connection with nature and critical
      theory. Lynley was also a Montessori kindergarten teacher before
      beginning her lecturing position at the University of Waikato in 2005.
      Lynley has always felt an affinity with animals and knowing they are
      suffering has motivated her to volunteer for SAFE so she can speak out
      for them. Animals cannot speak in a language that humans can understand
      easily – but they still speak! Are we trying to listen and learn their
      language or do we turn the other way? If we tried to listen we could
      learn so much about the mysteries of life and about ourselves as well –
      as we are all ‘earthlings’, of equal worth and importance.


      Summary: A bit of nut bar.

      • Isherman

        Top line should read Lynley Tulloch, aka Kim Hastie (her SAFE alias)

        • rantykiwi

          So she doesn’t even believe in her so called principles to actually put her name to them? Gutless coward.

        • kehua

          Add anti-Rodeo activist to her resume.

      • James M

        “Animals cannot speak in a language that humans can understand”

        I think most duck hunters would have a good grasp of the ducks language, particularly the mating calls :)

      • Wayne Hodge

        Why am I not surprised

  • Toby

    oh wow, I didn’t realise they mate for life.
    If I see some flying in pairs, I’ll take extra special care to shoot them all now.

    • thats rubbish, Parries do, but Mallards are serial rooters. If you make a decoy set that mimics rooting movement you get heaps of ducks

    • Michelle

      and if one parries dies then they have a new mate within a week especially in breeding season
      they mark out a territory and defend it against other parries
      watch them just outside the window also pooping in the stocks water troughs

  • 1080 Napalm

    Wait, the FIRST of May?! Here’s me waiting for Saturday like a chump because Fish and Game told me to…

  • This is what happens when you anthropomorphise animals.

  • WeaselKiss

    There is one line there that tells me just about all I need to know:
    ‘Lights go on in houses and campsites even before sunrise…’
    Well excuse me…’even’?
    ‘EVEN’ !?
    As if someone getting up before sunrise is something to be remarked upon now.
    What about the legions of folks that have, in the course of their regular work regime, done just that, many for years and years of their lives.
    Here’s a news flash for you ‘Lecturer’: It’s what made this country as great as it is.

    • James M

      I always turn on the lights if I’m up before sunrise, it’s kinda dark at that time. Not so much after sunrise though, the sun tends to be bright enough, rendering artificial light redundant

  • cows4me

    Obviously I have feral parries, these arseholes don’t confine themselves to wetlands but are happy to eat and crap on the best of pastures and also take great delight in eating vast amounts of maize silage. This poor woman is what we call in the country an uninformed townie moron. I could go on and on about how insane everything she says is so screwed up but it would be wasting energy. This is an example of the growing disconnect between urban and rural and there are growing numbers like the confused Lynley . People like the ill informed Lynley vote for laws that effect rural citizens, they have the numbers and we suffer the consequences.

    • willtin

      Wait for the day when you have to put all your old milkers in a retirement paddock for the rest of their natural!

  • Miss McGerkinshaw

    “The only difference between hunters and non-hunters is that hunters actively participate in the process from harvesting to the plate while non-hunters outsource the messy parts to professionals like abatoirs and butchers.”

    AH but you see the trouble with you hunters is you enjoy the ‘killing’ and that is definitely NOT allowed.

    Whilst I don’t like hearing the pop of the guns I also accept that I wouldn’t have the stomach for killing nor be prepared to do the rest of the butchering so, as you so rightly say, I leave it up to others and buy that nice, sanitised steak, chop or whatever.

    Scary to think she was a Kindy teacher – young minds are so impressionable.

  • Odd Ball

    How does she know the duck didn’t want to die?, given that we don’t know what they are saying?
    What about carrots for instance (or any other vegetable), do they have feelings too?, how do they feel about been ripped out of the ground?

    • Steve (North Shore)

      Every time you squeeze a grape you get a little whine

  • Petem8nz

    That’s ridiculous! If you’re good, that male parry will swing back to assist – boom – 2 birds – problem solved

  • roblin

    Wait until Andrew little blame this to JK.

  • kehua

    hahaha She loves a duck that is actually a goose, perhaps they are related ( Lynley that is), these particular birds are a recognised menace and special permits can be sought to cull them during off season periods. It is not uncommon in the higher parts of both islands to see mobs of 2/300 of these birds. They are not particularly good eating and have a reputation for causing salmonella. Hope you bag a bunch of them this weekend.