Panama Papers BREAKING: It wasn’t John Key, it was Elvis



I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.  The media already jumped the shark with this whole Panama Papers misfire.  What editor worth their salary would publish a story like the above on THE day that everyone was looking for hard proof that John Key was responsible for … something.  

Oh, I know.  We must read between the lines… John Key is the bankrupt Elvis Impersonator from Tauranga.



It’s as credible as anything else the “professional” “main stream” media have been serving up lately.  Although, there may still be a silver lining for the Labour Party.




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  • Jude

    Oh that is so funny! Well at least we get to laugh at the share incompetence of the MSM and Labour!
    They are the gift that keeps giving!?

  • Pluto

    “wise men say,
    only fools rush in …..”

    • CheesyEarWax

      “you ain’t nothing but a hound dog,
      crying all the time..”

      • Mark

        “We’re caught in a trap…” – NOT!!

      • Cadwallader

        “We can’t go on much longer, with suspicious minds!”

      • EpochNZ

        “A Little less conversation, a little more action….”

      • Seriously?

        “The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
        But that won’t happen to us
        Because it’s always been a matter of trust”

        Billy Joel

  • Sagacious Blonde

    Surely confirms their Tabloid status.

  • Greg M

    More random impertinent thoughts regarding this Panama papers fiasco.

    What we know so far:

    1: That foreign owned trusts operating in NZ are almost certainly completely lawful.

    2: A bloke that worked for the IRD for a short time thirty years ago now works for an accountant that does, amongst other things, trusts.

    3: A lawyer that has done a bit of work for John Key approached the Minister responsible a few years back for some advise on future policy direction regarding trusts.

    4: A twice-bankrupted Tauranga Elvis impersonator is tenuously linked to an Iraqi bribery scandal ( ?? )

    5: We are now getting morals advise from journalists and Hager who have based their whole shabby hit on illegally hacked stolen documents.

    6: A cone of silence seems to have decended over the pirate ship at Queens wharf.

    The whole thing is actually comedy gold, I do hope they keep it up for a bit longer.

    • CheesyEarWax

      7. The same MSM journos who had no moral issues with working with Kim Dotcom to bring down a popular government.

    • Abjv

      Regarding the pirate ship at Queen Wharf, I wonder who may suddenly have remembered a load of assets in a foreign trust that he doesn’t want to come out too far into the public domain?

  • Wheninrome

    And we all thought he had left the building.

  • biscuit barrel

    Its really an example of how foreign trusts use local donkeys as fronts for their illegal activities.

    I dont understand if the MSM are making a big stink of this Panama thing , its covered in 6 items here, but you have to look hard for the story on the other web sites?
    I was reading Prince Harry and George W Bushes daughter and not the PP . Its as I expected way down the page near the bottom.

    • rangitoto

      So who is Greenpeace using as their local donkey?

    • Graham Pilgrim

      Oh now come on, Biscuit Barrel. This great reveal has been brewing for weeks on TV, radio, and in newspapers. It’s a bit rich to suggest that WO is the only news medium making a “big stink” about it.

      • Usaywot

        And the MSM were breathlessly advertising “The big announcement to be made at 6am on Monday” I unfortunately, by mistake, heard a snippet of the news on red radio this morning. They were proudly announcing their collaboration with TVNZ and Hagar. This is disgusting. We tax payers fund them and they are obliged to give an unbiased news bulletin. Can’t something be done about this?

        • Rob

          I hope others will join me and letting them know our disgust at their involvement with Hagar using public funds.

    • Tiger

      Hager et al have just face palmed as they realise that the memo said “donkey” instead of “John Key”!

  • Catriona

    This has to be joke of the century. The journos and Hager wetting they’re pants in anticipation that they were about to expose dirty dealings of gargantuan proportions. And it was all JK’s doings as well. Pffft!!

    • Left Right Out

      I’m sure there are far more pressing issues in NZ than less the 200 foreign trusts that appear to be all legit. Sadly the msm and left keep on chasing the bus and trying to install absolute fear in to us all. It’s quite obviously lost on the msm that it is privacy week as they “reveal” personal details from stolen material

  • kayaker

    So Elvis hasn’t left the building after all?

  • Nige.

    This is just the start of it. Tune in tomorrow when it is revealed that a circus performer from waiheke island named Trustley McTrustface held his profits from illegally sold elephant dung in a foreign trust.

    • WaveAtTheBridge


  • Genevieve

    For Andy.

    Well since my voters left me,
    I’ve found a new place to dwell,
    It’s down at the end of lonely street,
    At Heartbreak Hotel.

  • Mark156

    Comedy gold.

  • shykiwibloke

    Who was Elvis acting for Lord Lucan, The tooth fairy or perhaps a union?

  • John Q Public

    Who was it that did the theiving hack in the first place? Anyone? Was it a local person? Why was this person so intersted in “Getting John Key”? Why are there no answers in the MSM on this?

    • john Doe

      Apparently it was me. Currently sunning myself on a beach in northern Thailand if anyone wants an interview.

  • Kevin

    I notice Andrew Little has been very quiet

    • Cadwallader

      Angry is “In the ghetto!”

  • iant

    Parliament today – so John Key in a reply states that Greenpeace, Red Cross and MOJO MATHERS are revealed as foreign trusts. Mojo gets up to explain herself and states that she is only the beneficiary of a U.K. trust and that it is not a FOREIGN TRUST. Well, blow me down, it is not a NZ trust, so by inference it must be a…..

    • metalnwood

      but….. she doesnt own it, just a beneficiary of it.

      If they were talking about a wealthy business man then the greens would be talking about the layers of obfuscation employed when the businessman claims he is not the owner….

      Edit, and you have to wonder if that trust was setup to try and AVOID paying inheritance taxes prevalent over there.. Surely not.. She wouldn’t approve.

      • Seriously?

        No sir, the money is not mine, it might just end up being mine, but it is not mine at the moment… at least not in the legal sense…

        • iant

          Not sure we’re picking up on the point here – Mojo says a U.K. trust is not a foreign trust – well it isn’t a NZ trust so it is a foreign trust. Does she not understand……

          • Seriously?

            I wonder what part of the UK it is set up in… the British Virgin Islands?

    • Bryan

      go and hear the parliament question one today with little and key who raised the matter of the Elvis impersonator and Keys reply was classic “the only impersonator in this house is the member impersonating being the leader of the opposition”

  • cod

    How unfortunate for the Media that this expose, which has taken so much of their time and money, is falling to the floor with a resounding thud before their eyes, their dim uncomprehending eyes.

  • Seriously?

    I bet those in the media that were left on the outer are starting to feel quietly (or not so quietly) smug about the quagmire their “favored” colleges have landed themselves in.

  • Crowgirl

    From the morning of the “big reveal”, to the afternoon of and we are already down to the dregs.

  • roxo

    But wait for it . . . Have you EVER seen Elvis & John Key in the same room! HA! John Key is Elvis and it is still all his fault.

    • Seriously?

      I heard that John Key’s accountant once purchased a car from a man that is married to a woman whose brother visited Graceland. It’s not what you know…

    • rexabus

      Jeez ,from all the winds of hype that were swirling around I was half expecting Elvis..sorry John Key to leave the building this afternoon. Anti climaxes of anti climaxes.

  • Doc45

    It gives substance to the claim that the MSM had preconceived, prejudiced positions that they sought to justify rather than being scrupulously independent. Its a disgrace and a blight on the name of journalism.

    • Rob

      Especially RNZ . They are going the right way about being sold off. Talk about biting the hand that feeds them!

  • Alfred12

    Wait until Tuesday screamed the finance spokesman on Friday. May the 10th will reveal all. Come on Granty, speak up, waiting waiting!

    • Catriona

      Yes. He fizzled out. Maybe he’s trying to keep his nose clean or maybe he’s been told to ‘zip it sweetie’ by the big boss. His comrade in arms, Jacinda, isn’t mouthing off about this issue. She been told to ‘zip it sweetie’ too?