Whaleoil General Debate

keep-calm-and-don-t-shoot-the-messenger-3Morning everyone, and welcome to Whaleoil’s daily General Debate post (another one called Backchat will start at 6pm). To participate you’ll need to register a free Disqus account.

There are some rules, and if there is one thing about Whaleoil that you need to know is that these rules are dispassionately and strictly enforced.

 


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  • George

    Last night saw an extraordinary event in town. The “Very Poor Man’s” version of the Oscars. The Cannon Media Awards were presented to the MSM. The NZH’s reportage of their “success” was a frenzied eulogy of make believe as they paraded their stable of no hopers as “stars” of the evening. There were sixty nine awards in all, so it would be impossible not to get one, but putting that to one side, who cares?

    However there was one category missing. “The Best Fantasy Award”. So I would like to put right the wrong.
    The “Best Fantasy Award” goes to ———Newspaper of the Year judges Campbell Reid and Brett McCarthy, who claim. “The NZH has expertise from front to back, it takes the responsibility of being the nation’s newspaper seriously and consistently meets the challenge”.

    Now that takes creative writting to a whole new level!

    • hookerphil

      George, you have made me go and look at the awards. Best Newspaper Design, features a photo of PDB; Best News Stand Magazine features a photo of KDC; Best Portrait is of KDC.
      Did you really have to send me on that path of discovery?

      • Isherman

        And then there’s Nipperts resulting twitter feed…can’t decide if he needs to get a grip or loosen it.

        • XCIA

          “Herald journalist Matt Nippert won the Reporter of the Year award”. Some say he should have received an award for this encounter.

      • Old Kiwi

        And the “Best Headline” award goes to…… there wasn’t one. No seriously – it was a category but no winner. With all the made up ones we have seen, surely one was a winner. Perhaps not.

  • So this place I’m staying at has Royal Doulton. Isn’t that amazing? A motel with Royal Doulton? Who’d have expected that from a toilet bowl?

    • Catriona

      Make sure you treat Royal Doulton china with respect then!

      • It’s a mighty bowl. And the flush is something to behold. Al Bundy would be proud.

        • Effluent

          Ah, but it’s even more satisfying when you have the opportunity to use one of Mr Thomas Crapper’s fine products. I haven’t found any of these in NZ, but have seen the odd one or two in the UK
          edit- spelling

          • Iva b ginn

            Often wondered where the term “Crapp” came from. Lol

          • Effluent

            Armitage Shanks were the name I remember seeing most in the UK.
            It looks as it they’re still in business,unlike Mr Crapper, but I’ve never heard anyone say “I’m going for an Armitage….”

        • Ahh nothing beats a Ferguson toilet…the King of Bowls. The Stradivarius of toilets.

          https://youtu.be/IL2YRDzpTL4

    • Dumrse

      Wow, “mummy can I lick the bowl please” takes on a whole new meaning. Royal Dalton, who’d of thought.

    • Curly1952

      To go to that much detail Pete does it mean you were talking to the big white telephone after over indulging?

      • Heh. No, it’s clearly on display when you use it as a man with the seat up.

        • Curly1952

          That is the irony isn’t it? Men generally couldn’t go a damn where they go and woman don’t really get the pleasure of the knowledge that they used royal doulton

    • Dan

      There was a bar in Courtenay Place that had Royal Doulton urinals. For various reasons I just cant remember which one. Obviously not blind enough to read. Anybody?

  • Uncle Bully

    My take on the headline:
    “Thieving poacher’s wife moves on after poetic justice”

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/80220166/Hunters-wife-moves-on-after-tragedy

  • Old Kiwi

    Well said George but there is always the exception to the rule. I did laugh at Steve Braunias piece in NZH this morning. I think. He nailed it this morning – wonderful clever punchline.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11642208

  • PhantomCitizen

    Andrew Little has short memory. Attacking National Party donors has not been a fertile area for Labour to win political points in the past and it continues to be a counter productive strategy now. I think I’m going to coin a new political term. I’m going to call it “The Little Standard”.

    “The Little Standard” is a new Labour internal policy whereby the party will block any of its donors (company or shareholders) from:

    – tendering for government contracts let by a Labour led government,
    – lobbying a Labour led government and its Ministers,
    – supplying any goods or services to government department led by Labour, and
    – providing any submission feedback to select committees in the bill formation procedure.

    Andrew Little is a visionary and NZ should applaud and admire his ethical position and the long term benefits it will bring NZ by permanently cutting off the blood supply to Labours already depleted coffers.

    • Nige.

      Now let’s see…. who has A. Little ticked off so far….. I’ll start:

      -the Chinese community

      • yoyoyo

        the Hagermans and the people of Niue

        • Huia

          People with Trusts who have had their names splashed all over the papers.

      • Isherman

        – his own Justice spokesperson’s father.

      • Carl

        Ethnic chefs( eg: Indian, Chinese) that should be NZer’s not migrants.

      • Dave

        The pharmaceutical companies he had not so secret meetings with!

      • Curly1952

        Me!

      • Aucky

        The ‘missing million’.

      • Gazza

        All of us :)

      • Dan

        A family of renovators in Otara

      • Dan

        David Sherer, David Cunliffe, Phil Goff, Grant Robertson…..oh wait….the Labour Caucus.

      • Dan

        The Auckland Jewish Community.

      • Tom

        Parents whose kids are doing well at charter schools.

      • Blue

        Landlords, business, me

    • Wheninrome

      Anybody with any get up and go who want to know the direction the country is taking so they can get on board, and assist the country to get there.
      This involves talking to people, businesses etc., and at the moment that of course means the National party, so under Andy’s rule’s of play no successful business or business person would be able to help the country as that would mean under his “Rules of Play” they were seeking favours.

      edit: supposed to be a reply to Nige

    • XCIA

      In keeping with the Left’s ideology on nepotism, I note there are no rules regarding family members.

  • MrHippo

    And another Auckland Council ‘event’… Following on from the dig up Queen Street and play ‘musical chairs’ carry on from the other week, I see we now have had ‘mini soccer’ games being played with the usual numbers of clip- board wielding numpties involved. Just how productive this is I’m not sure…. Now for those mayoral candidates that suggest we should just cap staff numbers, might I suggest a re-assessment…

  • Korau

    Now here’s an interesting thought.

    If Trump wins the election it’ll be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family!

    The times, they are changing!

  • JLS
  • XCIA

    Before we all get excited about shifting boundaries and building houses on farmland that has been bombarded with chemicals for over one hundred years, has anyone completed totally independent soil tests lately?

  • Melissa

    Can someone help me out here? I’ve been issued with a $65 infringement notice fron Wilson Parking in Takapuna for being 15 mins over, after already paying the cutthroat price of $15 for 3 hours!.Can they do this? It seems an exorbitant amount to pay and I’m really hacked off!

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