A 100-year-old vehicle is still a 100-year-old vehicle…

by BlokeinTakapuna

A motor vehicle is a perfect analogy for describing a political party. Now I don’t want to be rude, but… a 100-year-old vehicle is still a 100-year-old vehicle. So, would a vehicle that vintaged and antiquated be fit for purpose on today’s election highway? Would the policy pollution it emits on the election highway hold up voter traffic today?

Technology has advanced so quickly, we often look back with a sense of nostalgia and deep gratitude with the advances we’ve witnessed. Remember dial-up sound? Telephones that would only phone and then, sometime later, could send texts too?

Now I don’t want to be rude, but how fit for purpose is a 100-year-old political vehicle, and the thinking that went into creating it, for today’s political highway?

No matter how often the PR/groomers/Media party and fellow travellers attempt to polish its image, a 100-year-old vehicle polished that much from new, often goes from bright, optimistic “fire engine red” colour, reflecting back to the voters as more of a lacklustre, washed-out pinkish tone – ironically, like in some kind of Orwellian “dog looks like its owner” kind of way.

Sure the 100-year-old Labour party election bus gets fleeting attention when being pushed again somewhere by the MSM for something. Or, when parked up at some novelty side show, checking the tuning with a few enthusiasts, but is it really fit-for-purpose on today’s roads? Does it really matter to the crew when you have endless MSM Roadside Assistance?

MSM Inspectors Dann, Gower and Bradford will certainly give it a political party COF pass with flying colours – simply, it seems, because of its lovely warm, pinkish tone. You’ll notice though, with each televised media COF inspection, that the vehicle inspection seems to only extend to listing the bus’s accessories – solar panel, wind turbine, pedal power, highly polished, know where they’re going etc…

Then, just before the start of the next race, instead of planning fresh new policy routes to victory, the current driver might decide to give her a refreshing new polish/ logo… move some passengers from the front to the back and the back to the front and then their race begins…

Her tired, 100-year-old running gear and antiquated philosophies used to peddle her message though, and mean her emissions will always be quite toxic to the electorate along today’s election highway. So, is she fit for purpose? With deflated, wobbly tyres to steer her, almost out of fuel, a driver with minor road rage… and no wallet, belching out noxious emissions, excessively grimy outlook through the windscreen, whining down the motorway, flat-out in the fast lane, and with a wistful driver longing for the days when she could do 1940 RPMs. But is she really fit for purpose?

Removed from the tame spotlight of clever photographic angles, extra soft lighting and patsy, reach-around tyre-kick admiration by the MSM – she’s still just a tired, 100-year-old jalopy. And, like all old vehicles, having had numerous part-time drivers, numerous navigators, numerous fellow travellers – all of whom want someone else to pay for her upkeep and running costs – she fast becomes little more than a tawdry jalopy belching out all manner of toxic emissions all over the hustings at every race event.

Even fitting wind turbines and solar panels to get the Green party in the back seat seemed to only worsen her emissions and high-pitched whining. This tired bus looks like it could never compete in a drag race with the election hot rod of Winston First, even despite Labour’s rainbow passengers claiming they could easily win any drag race.

It’s festooned with faded bumper stickers of election battles past, mournfully reading the ironic “Game Changer” and “It’s Our Turn John!” Once-proud bumper stickers proudly displayed by dozens and dozens of supporters up and down the country are now being used to patch tears in the back seat and to cover up graffiti of old, and even used in the vain attempt to dampen down the many rattles and prattles escaping from a tired bus of such antiquated, obsolete vintage.

Looking every one of her tired and battle-scarred years, the emissions this jalopy belches are so toxic that contenders in the jump seat to be the next driver, can see a head on collision with a brick wall approaching rapidly in slow motion, and so jump ship to go fishing all over the Pacific. So toxic is her reputation now all over the hustings, even a past “driver” with 30 years of accumulated bus passes, is so ashamed of her emissions and tawdry demeanour these days… he now claims to be a solo cyclist. And all whilst still collecting bus fare and taxpayer-funded running cost subsidies, whilst still riding in the bus and trying on lycra for size. Regardless though – he’s now completely independent… and has been for months.

So, she’s certainly not the streamlined, well-oiled super machine that a 100 years of careful succession planning and fundraising would create for a path to victory. Or, to use another analogy with her, she’s not quite the gorgeous super model you’d enjoy getting to pick up and take home after an evening out, but rather, and I really don’t want to be rude, but rather, she’s more like the overweight drag queen spilled on to the pavement at 4am after the nightclub has closed – offering everyone a piggyback home … but just wait a sec, the MSM are going to help her put on some more lippy first.

And so, waiting yet again at another emphatic “STOP” sign erected by the voters, waiting very impatiently for a hard turn left, recently retrofitted with Green know-how new solar panels and wind turbine, she’s getting ready for yet another electioneering road trip. So, it’s no surprise Labour are very scared of technology and the advances these fresh new ideas bring. Tawdry, tired, geriatric jalopy vs driverless, electric car fleets and phones that can send texts.


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