I’m a rightie so that makes me…

Inspired by an article on Stuff, I have decided to gauge what New Zealanders think about right-wing culture in a tongue-in-cheek move to try to change people’s perceptions.

Please finish the following sentence in the comments. The one with most upvotes wins.

Feel free to be negative, positive and also humorous. I do ask that you refrain from being crude or plain nasty.



I am a rightie so that makes me…

Before you start here are some pictures to get your creative juices flowing.




climate-change-denier-1 gmvvr



THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Carl

    I’m a rightie so that makes me know that I use the male bathroom only as I am one.

  • Sally

    I am a rightie so that makes me unable to be employed by Radio Red.

  • sandalwood789

    I’m a rightie so that makes me able to defend my views using facts, reason and logic.

    I’m a rightie and that makes me proud of the history and achievements of the West.

    I’m a rightie so I *defend* and am proud of my culture, unlike the left who seek to undermine and destroy it.

    I’m a rightie so I’m able to do research on Islam and show that it is evil.

  • phronesis

    I am a rightie so I can think for myself.

  • Woody

    I am a rightie so I pay my own way in the world as well as paying for the useless lefties who think it is their right to spend my money.

  • Kevin

    I am a rightie because I am a survivor after my wife and I had 2 children when we couldn’t afford it and did it all on 1 income in the 80’s and 90’s struggling without govt help and we are proud to have achieved it.

  • Sally

    I am a rightie so that makes me a rich prick. (a leftie view)

  • Wasapilot

    I am a rightie because I would be “ashamed of being a” leftie

  • Old Chook

    I am a rightie. I understand the economics of earning enough after tax to support my family and myself before I give my hard earned extra $$$’s to charities of my choice.

  • Boss Hogg

    I am a Rightie so that makes me struggle to support National at the next election.

    I am a Rightie so that makes me want to support Donald Trump because he has none of the virtues that I despise and all of the vices that I admire.

    • duve

      Your first statement is so true. There is no right wing party in NZ to vote for – even ACT is only a smidgen more to the right than National, which is actually centre left by world standards.

      • Boss Hogg

        Exactly. We have a range from Centre left (ACT in my opinion) to Socialist (Nats) to Communist style socialists to raving mad Watermelons with Winston in the snipers spot taking shots at will and gaining the most in % terms.

  • Nermal

    I’m a rightie because I use my brain

  • Nige.

    Can’t last forever…. (meme)

  • Disinfectant

    I am a rightie because I can think objectively and independently, am not easily swayed by the mob, have gone out into the world meeting up with many different peoples and cultures and both observed and experienced that the most prosperous people anywhere are those who have their freedom and live in a society free from corruption with minimal collective interference.

  • NahYeah

    It’s called “right-wing” for a good reason, would you rather be on the wrong-wing?

  • Pluto

    I am a rightie so that makes me…
    Able to choose in which bathroom to pee..

    It’s good to help out, but it makes me go crazy
    Wasted taxes on the stupid and lazy

    I am a rightie so that makes me…
    When it’s muslim with bomb Islamic terrorist i see…

  • JEL51

    I am so proud to be a rightie as I definitely know the direction I am going, can make decisions for myself and can think independently. I can also stand back and laugh at the left and that is happening more & more frequently lately.
    Ed: shocking spelling/blaming keyboard

  • NahYeah

    I am a rightie so that makes me:

    Part of the only system of world governance that has ever been economically viable

    Part of the only political system under which countries have progressed and not remained static or regressed

    Part of the only system that results in long-term peace, not violence and instability

    Able to see the world as it is, not as I am told to see it

    Able to think for myself, not by what the state tells me to think

  • colin herbertson

    I am a rightie so that makes me a freedom loving resident of the real world

  • D.Dave

    I am a rightie, so I can put forward positive, constructive discussions, while the lefties try to cry me down , and moan about how they need more of MY tax to survive.

  • RightofSingapore

    I’m a rightie so I see the world as it is not as I want it to be.

  • Bootboy

    I am Right Wing because I believe in a hand up and not a hand out; I believe that welfare should be a safety net, not a drift net; I believe in giving people rods to go fishing with, not a free plate of fish; I believe that those who cheat are only cheating themselves and to make it to the top you first have to start at the bottom;

  • MrHippo

    I’m a rightie because I out-source my caring by paying tax.

  • Bluemanning

    I am a rightie as I use commonsense, understand consequence, uphold equal rights by eliminating the TOW and putting NZ citizens safety and rights before political correctness.

  • Cadwallader

    I am a rightie because I anticipate and accept the consequences of my own actions. (Makes me a libertarian also.)

  • JohnO

    I am a rightie because I know the free market is the greatest generator of wealth in the history of mankind and all other economic systems lead to poverty and loss of individual freedom and responsibility.

  • Cadwallader

    I am a rightie because I can see through the smarmy witterings of Rachael Smalley and her ilk.

  • Sailor Sam

    I am a rightie because I believe in self discipline.
    I am a rightie because I like Australian Senator-elect Pauline Hanson and what she stands for.
    I am a rightie because I dislike watermelons.

  • Metricman

    I’m a rightie so that makes me appreciate that common sense doesn’t appear that common amoung our leftie mates. It helps me appreciate the value of logic, objective evidence and reason. It helps me understand the value of working for my own money and the choices it brings. It helps me stay sane in a world increasingly tilted by loopy liberal, bleeding heart, PC, myopic BS.

  • Bombastic

    I am a rightie so that makes me able to laugh at myself now and then.

  • Huia

    I am a righty because I want my Country to progress.
    It also means I can see through a lot of the bulldust being thrown around, I also have a sense of humor.
    I am a righty because I like things to be positive, I do NOT expect my country to house, feed and nurture me (apart from paying my pension), this also means I believe we have to be responsible for our own actions.
    Being a righty also means I have no time for Unions, their shenanigans or their meddling in Politics.
    I am a righty because I would also like to see MMP disappear.

  • Mikex

    I’m a righty because I believe in equal opportunities. I’m not a lefty because I accept that it will still mean different outcomes because we all have different abilities.

  • The Needler

    I am a rightie so that makes me okay, even if I do live in Auckland.

  • Korau

    I’m a righty, lefty, righty, lefty, righty, left, right, left, right……..

    Damned army!

  • RG52

    I am a rightie because I employ 20 lefties.
    I am not a leftie because I value my liberty, and the liberty of other.
    I am not a leftie because I value free speech for all.

  • JohnO

    Right wing= factual

  • rantykiwi

    I am a rightie so apparently:
    – I am a 2 headed spawn of satan
    – I kill fluffy kittens
    – I eat small children for breakfast
    – I shouldn’t have firearms because I’ll kill innocent people
    – I don’t care about the environment

    All of the above have been levelled at me by leftie acquaintances in the past.

  • cod

    I am a righty because i know the world is analog not digital, and there is no edit undo in life.

    • OneTrack

      I wish there was though.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    I’m a rightie because I saw and felt what the lefties did to my Bank Account

  • kloyd0306

    I’m a rightie because I believe in equal opportunity.
    I’m not a leftie because I do not believe in equal outcomes.

    • Tigger NZ


  • johnandali

    I am a rightie, because I am a patriot. I love my mother country and I also love my adoptive country, Australia, and I am proud to hold dual citizenship, and I admire and respect all countries that have similar democratic systems to our own. I served in the military forces of our country for over 20 years, and I would willingly do it again. When our forces were deployed to Vietnam, I demanded that I should be sent there, because I wanted to try to repay my mother country (NZ) for everything that I had been given from the day I was born. My welfare, my education, my health, our government, our armed forces and police…. everything. I know that the economy of NZ is created by people who achieve in life, and that they are represented by the National Party, and I have also given a lot of my time and energies to the Nats. Yes. We are the lucky country. But it didn’t just happen on its own. Our forefathers created it, and I will always be grateful to them.

  • Davo42

    I am a righty because I know the world owes me nothing.

  • JLS

    …happy that I’ve decided to grow up and take responsibility for, and control of, my life.

  • Grumpy of Onehunga

    I am a rightie and that makes me so right.

  • BMSKiwi

    I am a righty so I think the term ‘righty’ sounds a bit wet and homosexual.

  • James1st

    I am a righty because I know and fully understand that a rising tide floats all boats