Memorandum of Going Steady

Guest post

Desperation is, indeed, very stinky cologne…and the political left have taken yet another bath in it together, attempting to not stench as much this election cycle. Before jumping into yet another political bed together, they proclaim their back-room trysts are certainly not monogamous, but no one is screwing over the other anyhow but, in any case, it’s only up until election day anyway so voters will have no need to worry about any form of electorate STIs from their political trysts.

I don’t mean to be unkind, but it’s an initiative kind of like the wider political left family organising for the dorky, awkward and slow older cousin to take his slower cousin to the school ball so they both at least can claim to have had a “date” for the night. Once at the door though…she’s on her own…and out in the cold.

However, awkward older cousin might yet still be interested in being her date again after the ball – depending on how lucky older cousin gets on the night with a particular silver fox he’s flirting with outrageously. Regardless though, some MSM proclamations read: bystanders should rejoice in the Memorandum of Going Steady and anoint the cousins as King & Queen of the Ball already.

Like a real-life example of life imitating art, the cartoon “Wacky Races” comes to mind with each election cycle – except it’s difficult to imagine next just what nefarious tricks Dastardly and Mutley will be prepared to commit during this fast-approaching election race in their attempt to finally win?

So what now from the political left? What dirty / spiteful / treasonous stunts will the political left attempt to pull off this general election cycle?

Remember, only a few short years ago Comrade Auntie’s “Pledge Card” required retrospective legislation to avoid misappropriation and prosecution conflicts, then we all saw NZ Inc suffer up to a $400 million loss of collective wealth due entirely to Labour and the Greens’ cynical sabotage attempt with the KiwiPower stunt.

Then, more recently, NZ Inc and our democracy suffered the biggest attempted election rorting from the left when they created the 4-headed Labour/Greens/Internet-Mana/Taniwha orgy last election, resulting in all of the illegal activities, smears and antics – culminating, ultimately, in the flatulent Moment of Farce. It left a rather stinky messy 4-way sauerkraut-shart all over the stage and contenders at the Moment of Farce realised a rapid decompression implosion. Leila still won’t serve sauerkraut in her cafe to this day.

Months later and now “going steady” with only the Media party and the two of them in their political bed this time, instead of four like the last election, attempting to wash each other’s back. They still haven’t removed the stench no matter how long they all soak together. A festering echo chamber does not a spa bath make.

So what next?

What can NZ Inc expect from the left this election cycle? Surely, these past examples that NZ Inc has endured weren’t planned and pre-meditated but were, rather, spur-of-the-moment “lone wolf” isolated examples of cynicism from the left? Surely, nine years in the wilderness for Labour – 25 years for the Greens – wouldn’t encourage even more desperate endeavours to get on the treasury benches would they? Would they?

To win, the left have to firstly stop all the polling metrics rapidly going backwards to margin-of-error levels, reverse that nine-year trend of ongoing decline, then gain ascendancy ahead of National, and all in the space of a year or so…AND with their current “team” of talent…AND led by their current “leader”…AND with “policies” only Karl Marx could be proud of.

With Labour allegedly desperately broke (trading whilst insolvent?), and in their centenary year too – of all the rotten timing luck. With news of official membership numbers being as low as 1500 – or as high as only 5000, and now on Labour’s 5th “leader” to challenge Key and National in three, soon to be four, election cycles – what cynical stunts next will NZ Inc need to endure?

Will Labour finally put out fully-costed, workable, credible policies after only nine years of practice attempts? Or, will it be yet other cynical and spiteful sabotage attempts on NZ Inc, instead of just trying to compete for hearts and minds with better, workable ideas for all?

A week is a long time in politics supposedly…so only time will tell.

 

– BlokeinTakapuna


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