Breaking News: Kim Dotcom has a plan

Kim Dotcom called Nicky Hager and said, “Nicky, I haf a plan to defeat ze National Party.

“Great Kim, but how?” asked Nicky.

“We’ll get some clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Kiwis wear, zen stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever.

Zen, we’ll go to a nice old country bar and show them how much admiration and respect we have for ze hard working people living there.”

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Kim Dotcom and Nicky Hager?”

“Yes we are!” said Kim, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Nicky suggested we stop and haf a nice cold beer.”

They ordered a round of Speights for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old farmer came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out.

A few moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen farmers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Kim asked, “Why did all those old farmers come in and look under ze dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador retriever in here with two arseholes!”