A miracle medicinal breakthrough

Guest Post

In breaking news, professor Far-age (PHD, MEP School them in Brussels) and professor Trumpter (PHD, Towers University built in NY) have announced a major breakthrough in the fight against the virus progressivess liberaltitist. (PL Disease)

As most of you are aware, the single most dangerous virus of the 20th and 21st Centuries, PL disease, has had far-reaching consequences for western society, producing instability and the spread of associated diseases globalitis and entitlilisteletism.

As professor Far-age explains – “Part of our breakthrough has been identifying the root cause of PL disease. Through a forensic examination of thousands of suffers, we have established that the virus enters the spinal cord of the victim and shuts down the rational and logic portion of the brain. Of course, that makes it easy for us to establish whether a patient has PL disease – all we need do is ask the patient some logical questions – eg. “Why do you call white males racist?” The usual response will be to call you, the questioner, a misogynist racist with fascist tendencies – just for questioning their definition – unfortunately, the victim may also try to spit on you or even physically assault you – so be very wary of those you think may be infected!”

Professor Trumpter also pointed out: “ After establishing what the virus was doing to victims, it was a relatively easy task to find the origin or loci of the infection – many will be unsurprised that the Universities of Cambridge and Oxford in the 1950’s are the first known sites of the infection – though there is some evidence to suggest that a gentlemen born in the late 19th century – a Mr Lean-on, may in fact, be the starting point.”

Professor Trumpter further states “After establishing that Universities were the starting point for the PL disease we could see a pattern emerge – and it was quite a revelation! Those people most susceptible to the disease are those we would normally associate with the arts – celebrities, the MSM, career politicians and of course bureaucrats. In almost 100% of cases, these people have the disease.”

So I asked professor Trumpter “Who are most resistant to the disease”. – the answer was quite enlightening! “Firstly, anyone from the real science fields, physics, maths, medicine etc., seem immune – its seems their rational and logic centres are too powerful to be overcome.” He then stated, “Anyone with a real job outside of those mentioned above have good immunity and interestingly those infected at University that go on to get a real job seem to self-cure – and that’s what gave us so much hope and led to todays breakthrough.”

So I asked the professors – “are you announcing a cure?” Professor Far-age replied “We are announcing that we have a vaccine – and it has been deployed – it is not a cure as such. It mitigates the symptoms of the disease and we hope that over time it will lead to the self-healing we see in those University students in real jobs.”

As open mouthed as you must be, I asked “Employed – where? How?” Trumpter laughed “The Brexit election was too good a chance to pass up, we introduced the vaccine to the England and Welsh water supplies (author note: not Scotland or Northern Ireland) and the results were spectacular. First, we had the euphoria of those with the disease before the election that remain would happen, against all the logic (laughs), and after the result, the what we describe as the “exploding head syndrome”. It produces tears, screaming fits of rage and signs of total bewilderment. We believe this is caused by the rational/logical portion of the brain switching on for say 10% of the time – this causes the victim to be totally irrational. We see this as a good sign and possibly the start of a full recovery – we will have to wait and see”

Well, dear readers, I am a bit slow, but even I can put two and two together – “So professors you have deployed in the USA, haven’t you?” They laughed together “Of course we have” said Trumpter “Except for California,” said Far-age. “We needed a control in place like Scotland/Northern Ireland in the UK deployment. You can imagine our surprise that the same, if not worse disorientation is happening to victims in California as those that have taken the Vaccine. The only explanation professor Trumpter and I have been able to come up with is that the sheer number of victims in the state coupled with their close proximity triggered the vaccine like result given the election stimulus – in fact we believe that there may not have been any person in that region with Rational/logical thought.”

Wow I thought. Just wow! OK, think it through. “So what about New Zealand?” I said.

“Well,” said Trumpter, “A small population and a significant number of victims, so yes we introduced the vaccine prior to Xmas. I suspect you may have noticed some of the results already – Drew Tittle has taken off his glasses and seems to have left the country on NZ’s national weekend – Stone Teters has been talking to a potential new member – this person could be as newsworthy as Stone himself – this is very irrational you have to admit – and finally we have the case of Dill Blinglish who seems to be McTullies dummy – though as outsiders we are not sure how logical or rational that may be!”

– Rosco

 


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

Tagged:
40%