I can’t say I ever got to the point of seriously thinking about taking my life. But I did get to the point of weighing up if living was still worth it. Luckily, the answer for me was an emphatic YES. Others that struggle with depression get to a point where they are in a much worse place. Instead of wondering if they should kill themselves, they have a constant fight against the impulse of wanting to commit suicide.
Sinda Ruzio-Saban bares her soul in her book, the story of her journey through a life of depression and “almost constant suicidal thoughts and desires.” As a first-person account, it is heart-wrenchingly sad and even frightening. Those who have been in her position—or know someone else who has—are more likely to approach the topic openly and even take comfort from what Sinda has to say. Simply knowing what this woman has faced may help others suffering similar difficulties. Either way, this is not an easy book to read. Well aware that society is not particularly receptive to discussions about depression, Sinda forges ahead anyway, with both purpose and conviction freely sharing her thoughts, experiences, and self- discoveries. Believing that “a sufferer’s view from the inside looking out” is far different from a clinician’s perspective, she writes not only for those who already understand depression but also to reach those who do not. Pages of poetry accompany the text and appearing almost like photographs illustrating her mind-set as she processes various issues. Her strongest message is that “people need to know more about this disease,” a sentiment that even those who have never faced serious depression may be convinced to support. Absorbing her words is like listening to a friend who is trying to explain something difficult: wanting to understand, trying to understand, not always getting it, but listening closely all the same. For some, it will be familiar and reassuring; for others, revelatory, uncomfortable, or even distasteful. Those who read it through to the end are certain to be affected by all that Sinda has to say. The subject matter of birth | THE BIT IN BETWEEN | death will preclude many readers from even picking it up, but for those who do, it offers a raw account of one woman’s experiences dealing with the often taboo subject of not merely depression, but suicidal depression.
Solutions to life’s problems almost always include the knowledge that you are not alone, and there are people who are willing to help. Part of this is to draw from the experience of people that truly understand what you are feeling.
birth | THE BIT IN BETWEEN | death by Sinda Ruzio-Saban is available directly from the New Zealand author, or via Amazon.
Although I do not offer a professional background in the subject of my book, my knowledge comes from personal experience of years of living and coping with suicidal depression and this book addresses living with depression and the isolation this can bring.
The book goes to those dark places and shares the pain, shame and confusion of living with depression and its often best friend of suicidal desires.
Hopefully this will find a very very small audience, but in this area even one life saved is a win.
For those of you who would like a paper copy direct from Sinda, I’m told there are a few copies available and they will come cheaper directly from her. You can email me ([email protected]…) for her contact details.
Sinda gives the reader a set of tools she has collected over the years that has helped her.
- Maintain an Attitude of Gratitude
- Watch my vocabulary with myself, attempting to get rid of should’s, have to’s.
- Daily readings – from various affirmative and twelve – step programmes’ books.
- Listen to relaxing music/ sounds.
- Eat well.
- Ask – checking with friends that what they said is what I heard.
Sinda shares her secrets.
‘They say you are as sick as the secrets you keep. Well all I now know is that until I started leaking with therapy I was a very sick puppy! Quite apart from the fact that I did start talking I wasn’t aware of how sick I was. Sharing these feelings. Finding out what I wanted and how to express these wants. Bit by bit learning to be open with others was, and continues to be, a slow and often painful slog but the journey continues to worth it.’
Let’s hope that this article was meant to be published today for someone specifically.
Is it an easy read? No, its painful because it is real.Many people believe that talking about suicide is dangerous.