Guest Post: Can we have our ‘poofter’ back?

Men of New Zealand, you are the victims of a deft linguistic theft taking place before your very eyes.

Last week a Vietnamese sandwich place was knee capped by the language police for the crime of making a joke. They offered jalapeno peppers on their menu with the jocular addition “unless you’re a poof”.

The usual offended-by-everything-squad got stuck in and now the poor owners have caved and removed it. Fair enough from their point of view. Business first. But there is a bigger picture here. Words like ‘poof’ ‘sissy’ and ‘fag’ have a meaning beyond being a literal referent to men who like men.

As the manager of the restaurant told the Stuff website, ‘poof’ was used ‘in the sense of it meaning soft or wimpy’.  

Words like this that suggest weakness, cowardliness, fussiness or pretentiousness play an important part in male socialization.

Say you and a mate are doing some D.I.Y and you ask him to lift a cinder block. Your mate says, ‘Afraid not Barry I don’t want to risk developing a hernia’.

Or you are about to leave the house and it starts to rain and your mate asks you to wait until it stops because the rain will ‘mess up’ his hair.

Or time travelling a bit, the Titanic is sinking and your mate pushes past the women and children to get himself on a lifeboat first.

All three situations require a chiding (Ok, the last requires a right hook to the head as well) as your mate has departed from the accepted manly virtues. ‘Don’t be a poof’ is an adequate reminder that men should be strong, brave and care less about their hair than ladies do. Something the modern hipster wankers with their intricate dos and manicured beards would do well to remember.

While these terms may have begun as derogatory references to homosexuals they are seldom used this way now. No, it’s more to shame men into remembering that they are in fact men.

Here’s the real problem. The right-on brothers and sisters of political correctness, the extreme gayists and radical femos are working to a plan here. Believing that gender is a social construct and nothing beyond genitals are pre-determined (and hey these can be removed/constructed anyway) they wish to elide from our language any terms that highlight gender difference.

So, men of New Zealand, here’s what I propose. We choose one. ‘Poof’, including its full glorious original form ‘poofter’. Here we take our final stand. We don’t give it up. We use it as much as possible when a man is fussy, pretentious, weak, cowardly and generally unmanly. We do not use it to refer to, or imply homosexuality. That’s the deal.

The lefty language police have already absconded with the original meaning of ‘gay’. They can have ‘fag’ (too American and directly anti-homosexual). ‘Cissy’ seems old fashioned and weak.

‘Poof’ it is.

Currently, given the menu incident, ‘Poof’ is a word imprisoned in the dungeon of political correctness destined for a slow death only to be remembered at all in the Oxford Dictionary of Slang and reruns of ‘Are You Being Served’.

So please Language police show some tolerance.

Can we have our ‘poofter’ back?

 

-Name withheld by request

 


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