Comment of the Day

Hello. This is about one-eyed one-eared goats. One was born in India last week and is reportedly venerated by villagers in Assam who hope it will bring them luck.

Less well-known are the one-eyed one-eared goats of Wellington; of which we possess several. Useless for most intents and purposes they roam aimlessly about the place until elected to City Council or, if especially useless, are drafted into the Wellington Police Alcohol Harm-Reduction Unit.

The one-eyed one-eared goats do considerable damage in these positions but are oblivious to any harm caused on account of their restricted, myopic, world-view and, let’s face it; the condition is caused by possessing only half a brain.  

Irritating to citizens because of their endless bleating they consider themselves beyond reproach. As they see it; there is only one view. Mention the Sevens Gala and the chief or bully-goat at Police endlessly repeats ‘harm, harrm, harrrmmm’ and sets about destroying the event using all methods to undermine it. Not totally talentless, the one-eyed one-eared goat has two tricks; it can perform a song’n-dance upon very little substance and in derisive displays of chest-puffery can blow things out of proportion with gusto.

Impressively indignant if a busted bladder lass happened to take an emergency leak in a lane in early-morning Welly, the goats were oblivious they themselves were urinating all over the fans, the visitors, the event and their own reputation in their half-sighted half-wit over-reaction.

Sadly; Sevens is gone. Our yearly carnival succumbed, endlessly battered by single-issue Cyclops since 2013 the event has been on life-support ever since.

It goes to a new home in Hamilton and I sincerely wish Tronskies the very best with it, that those citizens are able to breathe new life into it, and am greatly heartened by talk of putting the event back into party mode. Good luck Hamilton.

One word of warning, which may be superfluous since the good people of Waikato are largely of the agricultural mode and don’t need to be reminded of the dangers of wandering stock; make sure the one-eyed one-eared goat doesn’t get loose.


– idbkiwi

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