The LGBTQI/GE/GF/V friendly / Gender neutral / Gender fluid bathroom

After weeks of fruitless searching, Mr. Little finally found the LGBTQI/GE/GF/V friendly / Gender neutral / Gender fluid bathroom again, where he hoped upon hopes to learn of some more wisdoms and guidance from the Magic Mirror. As he was washing his hands, once again the mirror rippled briefly before leaving a message for him to recite…

“Mirror, mirror on my bedroom ceiling, will I ever have an Election win feeling?”

“Hello again Mr. Little, what poetic words you’ve spoken – but what is it with all you Labour Party people and your bloated, twisted sense of entitlement? Talk about a bridge too far! Instead, wouldn’t you prefer the instruction manual for men on how to understand women?”

“Well I am very curious” replied Mr. Little…“and the election is getting closer. If you tell me, I’ll polish your surface for you. In fact, I’ll even get one of our “interns on work experience” to do it instead, so you won’t even need to offer them anything, or even pay them minimum wage – let alone a living wage.”

“Cut the crap Mr. Little. Just zip it sweetie!” Replied the Magic Mirror in somewhat exasperated tones.

“Your hypocritical, sanctimonious attitude and approach towards interns really should have the Employment Court investigating your entire Party with magnifying glasses and lengthy rubber gloves like vets use when checking on cows. It’s disgraceful really, the political arm of the unions taking advantage of the young and powerless – because they’re young and powerless. Just as well you have very helpful and many friends in the MSM to help distract the masses – even if the party did lose its TVNZ outpost office. Mr. Little you need to face reality and escape the beltway vacuum echo chamber you’ve been listening too.  

Not only has the party now just lost “Waitakere Man” in East Coast Bays and a million of his kind all over New Zealand because of this silly man ban ideology – you’ve lost the confidence of the entire country – again! Voters can see that Labour will promote virtually anyone based on some ideology quota definition instead of simply going with the best suited and most qualified in life experience to represent the voters. Have you ever considered over the last 9 years or so, that voters all over the country want the best suited individual to represent them, not some useless waste of space that somehow meets erroneous Labour Party quotas? Has it occurred to you that could be the reason for last 3 losses and the next up coming one?

Kiwi women don’t need to be patronised Mr. Little. Most find it quite repugnant even. Just look at how far advanced National are compared to Labour in this latest Rogue Organ poll just out today. National had NZ’s very first female Prime Minister for goodness sake. She won that appointment based on merit and skills and hard work. She wasn’t just placed there because of her list ranking. I know Labour were a very, very distant follower, but even so… You and your *ahem* “team” should focus on the things that matter to voters. They want the best people representing them – not someone who can’t even represent their own local electorate, even when asking twice! There might even be a lesson there if you look hard enough.

But here’s the bigger issue for you Mr. Little. The Rogue Organ poll out today not only shows your popularity with the voters now plummeting below sub-basement levels… your deputy – a former world-wide leader of young Socialists for goodness sake – is still preferred as Prime Minister over you by a factor of three. Three! You have zero mandate from your local electorate, your deputy is thrice times more popular than you …and as the poll shows, even Ronald McDonald, Worzel Gummidge and Chris Cornell rank higher in the preferred Prime Minister rankings than you do. So this whining to me about getting Election win feelings is very, very premature indeed. You need a good long hard look in your mirror to stop such premature thoughts. You really should reflect on that.”

*The sound of crickets*

“But Magic Mirror, we’ve moved on many a life-long political limpet, refreshed the entire line-up with fresh blood. We’re ready to win!” exclaimed Mr. Little, finding confidence in his voice after such a sledging.

“Trouble is – the country doesn’t believe it. You lot can’t even launch a policy without attempting to deceive the voters with fudged costing numbers and/or timeframes. Does 4 month’s – no 6 month’s policy flop debacle jog any memories? How about every secondary school having a nurse at an annual cost of only $40 million p.a.? Voters simply don’t trust your economic credibility when your party attempts to deceive the voters with such fibs. Worse still, if you attempt to tell everyone the costing weren’t an attempt at deception, it was a costing mistake – that makes it even worse considering the time you had to prepare and all the people in the party ranks that fact checked the finer details before public release. Then you have the utter gall to ask the voters to trust you with the countries cheque book! You’ve been standing down wind of too many Green Party “idea workshops” it seems.

But all is not lost. Since you and your Labour Party have had a decade of not being able to release fully costed, viable policies to convince voters you’re credible enough to lead the entire country… you need to advance your plans on building that bridge to Australia. You won’t even need to produce any budgeting or costings – because you’re going to have the Australian’s pay for it. You’re going to Make Australia Close Again. So be a bit more realistic and focus on that instead of an Election win pipe dream after only a decade of being on the side lines.”

“Now Mr. Little – I’ve given you plenty to reflect upon. Go back to your office and see if you can borrow the Employment Court’s magnifying glass to help you find the million missing Waitakere Men.”
…and with that, Mr. Little could tell he’d been dismissed even faster than the voters in Taranaki could say “NO”

 

– blokeintakapua


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

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