The story of Jacindarella – Last part

Guest post

 

Returning to the restroom as soon as she could, Jacindarella raced to the magic mirror, reciting the magic words like before…

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

The Magic Mirror once again shimmered briefly to reveal another scene at the Election Gala Ball…

“Oh my! Who is that rather dapper, silver fox elder Statesman Magic Mirror?”

“That, my dear child, is Winnie. Now he and he alone is the one dance partner you want to tango with if you ever hope to be crowned Queen of the Ball. He is shaping up to be your best dance partner for this Election Gala Ball Jacindarella. If you hope to have any chance to woo him, I’d suggest sending him some Whiskey and some scampi, sent in an old wine box filled with white cards in large black lettering reading “YES”. Write “Foreign Minister” and “Finance Minister” and “Co-PM” on the box, but then cross the wording out but still so he can read it though, then write “Winnie” underneath. Then send it to him with an invite to a BBQ at the horse races. He’ll be putty in your overly manicured hands. 

But first you’ll need to get his attention to dance with you, so give him a demo of your moves and ask him for a tango. If all of that still doesn’t work, put on your best husky singing voice like Marilyn Munroe did singing to a President, and whisper seductive tones in his ear suggesting you might even be able to pick-pocket your leader so he can get his dog whistle back. Do just about anything you need to to get a tango. Just don’t do “The Robot” dance – you know how these things upset your other leader Grant.”

“Thank you Magic Mirror you’ve been so wise and helpful. Who is that in the corner, having a major tantrum, thrashing about on the floor on all that glossy paper?”

“That, is Nicky Hager crying a river of tears over his latest book release. It’s an autobiography called “Miss & Slither”. You can see he’s really frustrated as no one fact checked the spelling of his name. The publishers printed it wrong. Then they only sent boxes of the incorrect dust jackets to the Live launch. And now there’s talk all over town that it’s just another completely empty book and there’s been no shipping mistake whatsoever. He’s certainly sobbing a river of frustrated tears into his Gluten & Dairy Free organic Soy Chai Latte.”

And with that, the magic mirror shimmered back to being an ordinary mirror once again.

Jacindarella knew she’d still get more helpful and handy hints from her Magic Mirror soon, she just didn’t know when…

 


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