Whaleoil reader runs out of time to confess all sins

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Whaleoil tragics will know of our expat reader currently in an East European hospital.  He reports

Yes!! Surgery scheduled for first thing in the morning. After a week in hospital waiting, waiting, waiting for your name to come up, this is just like winning lotto (except there is no money & you have to wear an adult nappy)

They moved me into a smaller room (better for post op recovery). I was settled in, then the priest turned up. Either this guy has appaling timing or there is something the hospital is not telling me.

Would I like to take confession? The problem with that is there were barely 12 hours until my surgery, which would hardly give us enough time to scratch the surface. Also there was a shapely women in skin tight jeans bent over the next bed. I was busy accumulating new sinful thoughts faster than I would be able to tell the priest about the old ones.

So he offered me the sacrament. Now I’m no Catholic, but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to involve wine. He didn’t have a bottle or even a hip flask, so I’m not sure what his game was. He may get his jollies by going home & counting how many immortal souls he has saved today, but what’s in it for me? No wine no deal!

After the priest (& unfortunately the hot woman) left, a nurse came in with a bottle of red decontaminant. My last operation had been called off at the very last minute when the surgeon said I had a skin infection caused by an allergic reaction.

So the nurse said I had to strip naked & rub on this industrial strenght clearing solution from head to toe. Where is a student nurse when you need one? Im sure she could get extra credits for helping out with this.

The operation is scheduled for 3 hours. If you know the old song – the hand bone is connected to the wrist bone, the wrist bone is connected to the arm bone, the arm bone is connected to the elbow bone …. well that’s where the song stops for me. My upper arm bone has been complety twisted off the ball joint in the elbow.

I’ll save showing you the xray – unless you really really want to see it


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

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