Bribery didn’t work so all I am left with is corruption

On Friday I offered prizes to the first two people to sign up for a subscription but the chocolate and lollies I offered failed to motivate anyone to take the plunge.

Since bribery didn’t work you have all left me with no other choice. I will have to use corruption to motivate you.

I guess you want proof of life before subscribing?
Here’s a video of our hostage. If you listen to him for too long you will be begging us to kill him.

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