Pampered Millennials make Home Depot Panic

“Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.”  – Bertrand Russell

[…] As wall street analysts celebrate the coming of age of the millennial generation, a group of young people who were supposed to lead another revolutionary wave of consumerism if only they could work long enough to escape their parents’ basement, retailers like Home Depot are panicked about selling into what will soon be America’s largest demographic…but not for the reasons you might think.
While avocado resellers like Whole Foods only have to worry about creating a catchy advertising campaign to attract millennials, Home Depot is in full-on panic mode after realizing that an entire generation of Americans have absolutely no clue how to use their products.  As the Wall Street Journal points out, the company has been forced to spend millions to create video tutorials and host in-store classes on how to do everything from using a tape measure to mopping a floor and hammering a nail.

Home Depot’s VP of marketing admits she was originally hesitant because she thought some of their videos might be a bit too “condescending” but she quickly learned they were very necessary for our pampered millennials.[…]

[…] In June the company introduced a series of online workshops, including videos on how to use a tape measure and how to hide cords, that were so basic some executives worried they were condescending. “You have to start somewhere,” Mr. Decker says.

Lisa DeStefano, Home Depot vice president of marketing, initially hesitated looking over the list of proposed video lessons,chosen based on high-frequency online search queries. “Were we selling people short? Were these just too obvious?” she says she asked her team. On the tape-measure tutorial, “I said ‘come on, how many things can you say about it?’ ” Ms. DeStefano says.

And just in case you think we’re joking and/or exaggerating, here is Home Depot’s tape measure tutorial in all its glory:[…]

 

[…] Meanwhile, Scotts Miracle-Gro has been forced to start training classes to remind frustrated millennials, who can’t seem to keep their flowers alive, that plants need sunlight to grow (apparently not a single millennial ever took biology in grade school).  Commenting on the tutorials, a defeated VP of Corporate Affairs, Jim King, admitted “these are simple things we wouldn’t have really thought to do or needed to do 15 to 20 years ago”[…]

[…] Companies such as Scotts, Home Depot Inc., Procter & Gamble Co. , Williams-Sonoma Inc.’s West Elm and the Sherwin-Williams Co. are hosting classes and online tutorials to teach such basic skills as how to mow the lawn, use a tape measure, mop a floor, hammer a nail and pick a paint color.[…]

As Private James Frazer so eloquently said, “We’re doomed.”

 

-zerohedge.com


This post was written by Intern Staff

 


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