S**t Towns of NZ’ creator goes into hiding

When I saw that the satirist who created the Facebook page S**t Towns of NZ’ had gone into hiding because of death threats my first thought was that the story was a clever piece of self-promotion. I say that because the creator of the page is anonymous. I know this because I contacted the page September this year to invite the satirist to republish some of his Facebook articles as guest posts on Whaleoil.

As I chatted to the satirist I had no idea if I was talking to a man or a woman as the chat identified the message as being from shit towns of New Zealand.


Cam receives death threats often and in his case the people threatening him know who he is and sometimes where he lives. One of them even went after our daughter on Facebook and threatened to gang rape her during the ‘ Feral” controversy. I really don’t see why the satirist needs to go into hiding if no one knows who he is or where he lives.

The creator of the satirical “S**t Towns of New Zealand” Facebook page has gone into hiding after receiving almost 20 death threats in the past two years.

The man, who asked to remain anonymous, says he’s been forced to hide his identity and where he lives because of concerns for his safety.

The Facebook page was always anonymous.

[…] The page was set up two years ago promising to keep viewers abreast of “everywhere s**t in Aotearoa” from the “s**tropolis of Auckland to the bubbling s**t pit of Rotorua”.

Until two months ago the page had only attracted 10,000 Facebook “likes” – but that shot up to 25,000 “likes” after the Cromwell entry.

Yeah, sounds like clever self-promotion to me. Hey everyone go have a look at the Cromwell post to see what all the fuss is about and increase my likes.

“We’ve received quite a few death threats – particularly from Cromwell weirdly enough.[…] “It seems that people in the ‘Mistake by the Lake’ seem to have very thin skin.

“There’s one Mexican restaurant owner there that wants to fight me in the main street.”

The satirist says he was surprised by Cromwell’s reaction as he considered the town’s entry on the page as one of his more mild “takedowns”. […]

-NZ Herald

Then again perhaps he is genuinely scared which may explain his latest apologist explanation.


Why do you hate [insert shithole here]?

This might come as a bit of a surprise to some people who aren’t acquainted with the finer points of satire, but these posts don’t reflect our actual, genuinely-held feelings about your town. We don’t hate the towns we review. Our intent is to use offensive humour to highlight the various foibles and eccentricities of towns scattered around Aotearoa – if we shit on your town it’s only because we care!

Why don’t you reveal your identity?

Unfortunately, some humourless troglodytes who don’t get the joke seem prone to making violent threats – while we’re convinced that 99% of these keyboard warriors are full of shit, we’re not prepared to run the risk that one of these gormless goons will actually act out some of the uber violence they propose. Our anonymity has the added benefit of really winding up simpletons who don’t understand how the internet works.

Why don’t you reveal where you are from?

Because it’s funnier to keep this a secret. Rest assured that we don’t think our hometown is any better than the places we review.

This isn’t funny!

Yes it is – just not to you. That’s okay. We all have different senses of humour – maybe you could go back to looking at videos of dogs wearing sunglasses or whatever it is that tickles your particular funny bone. We’ll stick to poking the borax at the many different communities that make up this fine nation.

I don’t care about any of your explanations! I’m still going to get mad and hurl abuse at you!

You are entirely entitled to lob whatever abuse you want at us. Please be aware that if you do engage in abuse, we may return fire and we won’t be held responsible if you come off looking like a wanker who can’t take a joke. We do draw the line at threats of physical violence and will block anyone who resorts to such boring retorts.

Context is important. You’ve clicked on a link to a page called “Shit Towns of New Zealand”. That might be your first clue that the content shouldn’t be taken at face value.



As you may have guessed by the lack of guest posts on the subject of ‘Shit Towns’ my facebook chat with the satirist wasn’t successful. He is happy to provide free content on his Facebook page to the public however so if you want to read his satire you now know where to go.


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