Life is like a box of chocolates

I have never understood why chocolate companies include chocolates that no one likes inside their chocolate box collections. We all know which ones I am talking about. They are always the ones left towards the end that no one wants. Many the time I have desperately searched through the remaining chocolates in the hope that one of the edible ones will be left. Why do the companies do that to their customers? Unpopular chocolates cost no more to make than the popular ones so why are they so mean-spirited as to make a percentage of the selection so horrible?

A family joke on my side of the family relates to my Mum who was always given a box of Roses chocolates for Mothers day. She was well known for taking a small bite of a chocolate and then if she didn’t like it she would rewrap it and put it back in the box.

[…] Cadbury has axed the controversial Cherry Ripe from its Roses collection.

The Australian favourite has been replaced by a new addition,”Dark Mocha”.

Cherry Ripe has long been a controversial chocolate flavour.

Controversial? There was no controversy, we Kiwis simply do not like it.

The Roses box describes “Dark Mocha” as carrying a “rich espresso taste”, with fudge covered in “Old Gold dark chocolate”.

[…] The Cherry Ripe had long been a controversial addition to many of Cadbury’s chocolate assortment packs.

The company came under fire from angry customers alleging they had bought packs filled almost exclusively with Cherry Ripes, in the lead-up to Easter in 2016.

Companies do market research and it has been known for a long time that Kiwi customers hate Cherry Ripes so it is a mystery why they took so long to remove them. One of the reasons I rarely buy boxes of chocolates is because the addition of yukky chocolates in the selection means that I do not get value for money as at least 10% of the chocolates will be left uneaten. How hard is it really to do the market research and give customers a box full of chocolates that they like?

In March last year, more than 20 people complained on Cadbury’s Facebook page after opening their Favourites Easter egg boxes only to find a whole lot of Cherry Ripes and not much else. The company responded by saying it was just bad luck for the unhappy customers.


It is not only in New Zealand that Rose chocolate lovers are being traumatised by yukky chocolates.

A definitive ranking of Cadbury Roses, from worst to best

HERE, IN REVERSE order from worst to best, are the chocolates in the Roses tin. This ranking is correct, definitive, and incontrovertible.

10. Coffee Escape

Sick and wrong. Some people just want to watch the world burn.

9. Strawberry Dream

For a chocolate, strangely creepy.

8. Tangy Orange Creme

Better than the strawberry one, but still. Bang of your granny’s perfume off this one.

7. Regular Caramel

*zzzzzzzz* what? Is the Bond movie on yet?

6. Country Fudge

Reliable contender when the tin gets whittled down, but you wouldn’t be furious if your little brother took them all.

5. ‘Golden Barrel’ (everyone knows this is really called the Caramel Keg)

Gooey classic. Bonus: it’s always kind of fun to be eating a little barrel, like you’re a rampaging giant in some kind of fairytale chocolate warehouse.

4. Brazilian Darkness

Bringing that exotic, sophisticated feel to the tin, the Brazilian Darkness may well be your mam’s favourite. And she’s a sensible woman.

3. Hazel Whirl

You’d be pretty mad if someone had eaten all of these and left the wrappers in the tin. That’s all I’m saying.

2. Signature Truffle

A new arrival last year that shot instantly to the top of the ranking. Now THIS is how you introduce a chocolate.

1. Hazelnut in Caramel

A chocolate so delicious it has its own name: ‘The Purple One’. Like the Madonna of chocolates. Entire Christmases have been ruined by arguments over the purple one.

More: Traumatised by the green coffee Roses? You are not alone




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If you agree with me that’s nice, but what I really want to achieve is to make you question the status quo, look between the lines and do your own research. Do not be a passive observer in this game we call life.

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