Under no circumstances whatsoever should you subscribe to Whaleoil

Don’t start getting any ideas about subscribing to Whaleoil just because you enjoy its content or because it is the only New Zealand Political blog offering podcasts. Sure it has something new every 30 minutes starting at 6am in the morning and running till 9pm at night but just because it has the hardest working team and the most content doesn’t mean you should reward them for their interesting and entertaining posts.

I am sure that you would rather spend that $2.30 a week on more important things like toenail fungus cream, adult diapers and packets of noodles. Why would you want to waste it on faster loading times and ad-free entertainment supporting Dirty Politics star Cameron Slater’s team?


If you support Whaleoil it will expand further and offer audio or video content as well which would be a disaster as you would end up spending even more of your time here. Your skin will become pale from a lack of sunlight and you will end up with square eyes just like your mother always warned you about so squash any ideas you had about signing up right now Mister!

Run away from that subscribe link right now otherwise you will live to regret it. Nothing good ever comes from thinking for yourself. Relax and let that lovely Jacinda Ardern soothingly tell you what to think and what to say as well as how to say it. Don’t waste your brain cells debating issues and deciding what your own opinion is it is just too much effort.


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If you agree with me that’s nice but what I really want to achieve is to make you question the status quo. Look between the lines, do your own research. Do not be a passive observer in this game we call life.