If Stuff can use fictional families to explain the mini-Budget then so can Whaleoil

The Seuseus gain $163 a week – how are you doing?

[…] In May, we introduced you to five made-up families, who we used to help explain how the then-National-led Government’s families package would work.

During the election campaign, we said hello to the families again, stacking up how Labour’s proposed package compared with National’s.

Today, they’re back once more, sharing the intimate details of their household finances with us so that we can all better understand the changes announced in Grant Robertson’s (big) mini-Budget. And they’re joined for the first time by a house-hunting young couple in Auckland.

Stuff has created five fictional families and has included politically correct sketches of them in order to explain how the mini-budget affects Kiwi families. I think that they lack imagination and a sense of humour so I have taken it upon myself to create two fictional families myself.

The Prats: Gain $80.74 a week – $112.60 in winter months

Charlene Prat is a solo-mum of three. She receives approximately $40,040 from the benefit and other forms of assistance such as the occasional fat wad of cash from her current boyfriend who sells tinnies for the Mongrel Mob.

From July 1, her main benefit should increase $5.70 thanks to usual inflation adjustments which will not be enough to buy even one packet of fags so she will now be reduced to rolling her own or getting her baby daddy to steal some from the local Dairy.

The mini-budget changes will mean that her Working for Families (WFF) Family Tax Credit will go up from $221.60 to $295.50 – roughly $74. Charlene is thrilled about this as she has wanted a lower back tattoo for ages and now she will finally be able to get some good quality inkwork done.

She is a tenant so her accommodation supplement will also be boosted by $100 which is a godsend since her landlord put her rent up by $40 last week in order to help cover the insulation he had to put into her flat to meet the government’s new regulations. Unfortunately, he has also given Charlene 90 days notice to get out as he is selling the block of flats she lives in. Finally, between May and September, she will be automatically granted a Winter Energy Payment of $31.82 which will be useful as by then she is likely to be living in a caravan park due to the acute rental shortage in her area.

The Mohammeds

Gain $141.38 a week ( *not including the Best Start payments)

The Mohammeds are a double income family with father Abdullah bringing in $49,000 a year working as a Halal slaughterer at the local meat works while wife Aisha looks after the three children assisted by his girlfriend Maria who is his second wife via illegal Islamic marriage. Maria contributes the benefit she gets as a solo Mum on the DPB to the family income. For legal purposes, Maria is a flatmate/boarder of the Muhammeds.

Abdullah is particularly excited about Labour’s Best Start payment of $60 a week for each child in the first year as both Aisha and Maria are currently pregnant again. With two babies under a year old, they will get an additional $120 extra a week. Abdullah is going to put some of this money aside to pay for air tickets as he has decided to find a third wife.

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