Hey Watties, what sort of muck is this?

Watties Chicken & Bacon Pie

Watties Chicken & Bacon Pie

Reader XCIA comments:

I was out dawdling around New World today to see what I could put in the office freezer to supplement the tried and true Paneton Leek & Bacon mini quiches. I spotted this Watties Chicken & Bacon pie, which looked quite acceptable for a quick snack and sounded reasonably nutritious, so I bought one to try. Just as well, after following the recommended instructions, what resulted was an inedible grey gloop. How do these mongrels get away with this nonsense?

Oyster comments:

They could sell that on the Cook Strait Ferry on a rough crossing: Either before or after you eat it, it comes out the same!

And adds:

My guess of the ingredients would be: Brown ingredient 2031, Microsodium hypovomitate, grey ingredient 1872, uranium 235, yellow ingredient 7624A, Chernobyl extract 666, and cornflour.

Nechtan adds:

Bloody hell! I’ve seen better offerings in the Waiouru JRs (800 man) mess. Which may not exactly be a compliment depending on which side of the kitchen you are on.

My experience of the food that fitters and turners (cooks) prepared in the Army was that it always resembled the ingredients.

XCIA scotches that comparison:

Even the worst tasting FD [Freeze Dried] rat pack tasted better than this. It was truly inedible and god only knows what the rubberized chicken substitute pieces were.

Nechtan has another crack at working out what it is:

To be honest it looks like something you could find in the bottom of the bowl after your morning ablution following a night of drinking Joseph Kutz.

I’m pretty sure that some Rheineck would have to be involved to get that look.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

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