Save Us Judith

Maybe I’m getting old but I needed to look up what in fact a Mimosa is:

A Mimosa cocktail is composed of one part champagne (or other sparkling wine) and one part chilled citrus juice, usually orange juice unless otherwise specified. It is traditionally served in a tall champagne flute at brunch, at weddings, or as part of first class service on some passenger railways and airlines.

As a budding writer I sometimes experience writer’s block but when this happens I always do the same thing.

Check out the Stuff website.

Stuff is a veritable goldmine of confused conflation of ideas interspersed with spelling and grammatical errors.

I used to feel sorry for the people that worked there and sent them a dictionary in the mail but after never receiving a thank you or even an acknowledgement of receipt I no longer hold any empathy for this awkward conduit of Fairfax Media sputum.

Indeed, it seems that the only time one ever reads anything on that god awful website that is free of lazy and shoddy writing is when it regurgitates articles from other publications.

So we can all sleep easy now folks as the much-anticipated Vogue fashion shoot for our very own Cindy is out.

Ardern was interviewed at home and also shadowed as she made a speech at Unitec, where “more than 150 women, most clutching mimosas, grab Ardern for selfies.

But what can you expect from our current Prime Minister? Someone whose only occupations in life so far have been as a Policy Analyst leading to Career Politician.

Perhaps the constant scratching of marginalia on the borders of governance has finally come to fruition as Ms Ardern takes her rightful seat at the centre of Global Politics as the ‘Anti-Trump’.

Well, it could be worse I guess. At least we can rest easy knowing Cindy isn’t the ‘Anti-Christ’.

But even if she were, gosh doesn’t she look good. This is apparently the most important thing anyway if the new Vogue outlay is anything to go by.

The American fashion magazine, which describes our PM as “a 37-year-old with a beaming smile” and also “elvish,” photographed her at Bethell’s Beach, in a pair of blue Kate Sylvester pants and a flowing trench coat from Harman Grubisa.

After battling through various bouts of nausea brought on by the ridiculously insipid diet of virtue signalling platitudes I am left with only one thought.

Perhaps a panacea of sorts.

“Please, Judith – save us from these irresponsible wannabes!”

 


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ORANGE

  • A large round juicy citrus fruit with a tough bright reddish-yellow rind.

AMBER

  • Hard translucent fossilized resin originating from extinct coniferous trees of the Tertiary period, typically yellowish in colour. It has been used in jewellery since antiquity.

ORINJAMBA

  • Fifth generation Kiwi, social-political writer who left the Left sometime back and turned right. Heavily reliant on spell check with hopefully the intelligence to admit when he’s wrong and the humility to see the truth, irrespective of where it’s found.
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