A letter of resignation from Kelvin Davis

Tena koe Jacinda,

I have been waiting for what seems like forever to inform you that I am stepping down as Deputy leader of the Labour Party. I promised my favourite Maori Charter schools that I would resign if they were closed and as I am a man of my word I feel that I have no choice now but to tender you my resignation. If you are prepared to make a Captain’s call and change your mind I will happily withdraw it.

My resignation is effective immediately if you are not prepared to save my schools and I’m heading for the open road. I bought a Harley and a leather jacket and my girlfriend, Denise, is coming along.

I know you would like me to help you with a transition, but I won’t. Why? Because I don’t want to and the transition and pathway you promised the Charter schools is all baloney and we both know it.

Have fun figuring out the files on my computer. I couldn’t figure them out most of the time.

I am sure you will keep having “conversations” about education and about how much you care about my Maori Whanau but I prefer less Hui and more do wee.

Oh, speaking of computers, you’ll need to figure out the passwords to all the online accounts, supporters, and resources. I forgot to keep a list of them, so have fun with that.

I feel extremely guilty leaving you holding the bag, especially after I’ve written numerous unreciprocated letters to you requesting that you save my favourite Maori Charter schools.

I would like to thank you for forcing me to make this life-altering decision. I’m now leaving my extremely well-paid position as Deputy leader of the Labour Party to go back to teaching. I’m hoping one of the Maori charter schools will employ me if they manage to survive the ideological policies of this Labour government.

Things might not be so bad now that I’m gone. The next individual you appoint to take my place might be quite proficient at eating dead rats after making promises to Whanau that he can’t keep.

Don’t worry about writing me a reference, even though I’m sure you’d be glad to recommend my work and stellar political acumen.

Consider our bridges burned.

See ya,

Poroporoaki

Kelvin


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