If you want to be held to the same standards as a man, be careful what you wish for!

Guest Post

My motivation for sitting down, taking the time, and emailing you this? is that I am tired (and frustrated) by what I am confronted with day to day.

In the interests of full disclosure? YES, I am a white middle aged male, that has arguably (supposedly) led a life of privilege and advantage.

Whilst I am not dismissive of the challenges ahead, (For New Zealand as a whole) I am frustrated by people admonishing me, and making me try to feel guilty…

For who I am and what I do.

A little bit about me?

  • I grew up in a blue collar family (With a father who worked his ass off in a trade) to create something, and a mother whose unconditional love formed the foundation of a home
  • I lost my only brother to suicide (who tried to be all things to all people, and couldn?t conquer his own demons)
  • I have progressed my career right through to 4 ? 5 large corporate environments that are household names in New Zealand)
  • Throughout that career, I have created NUMEROUS opportunities for people to develop and advance regardless of race, sex, background (Because they display the attitude and application to warrant It)

What is pissing me off?

I have watched throughout 2016/2017 the ?feminist? movement of ?pussyhats? and the ?#metoo? movement garnering support worldwide.

They have systematically vilified those who may deserve to be demonised (Harvey Weinstein), and those that do not?

The only shining light and voice of reason seems to be renowned feminist Germaine Greer who called out the young actresses for what they are,

Effectively saying? ?Those who lay down and spread their legs to further their career, is tantamount to consent? (and to join the bandwagon 20 years later is hypocritical at best)??

What I want to call out?

With the emergence of Julie Anne Genter?s (Workplace Sexual Harassment Register) regardless of whether there is proven guilt or not?

As a male I am sick of being told ?to take a long look at myself? and by association, have it be implied I am part of the problem.

I have often joked with colleagues? that I worked in male dominated blue collar environments, but had to come to a white-collar female dominated environment to know what true smut was.

I worked with two fantastic women who took it upon themselves to indulge in a game to see who could make me blush first in the morning.

My efforts to maintain professionalism, and NEVER place myself in a compromising situation were met with derision from my female colleagues,

Who questioned why I had NEVER flirted with them? and came to the conclusion that I must be gay (not to have done so)

I have witnessed (what I will describe as) extroverted gay men (who didn?t identify as women at the time)? actively look for controversy.

When they have been asked to leave women?s bathroom because they are making girls uncomfortable, play the victim?s card.

Just this week? I attended a ?work conference? where a young(ish) woman had a few too many drinks, and not only ?bit? two colleagues leaving bruising and teethmarks,

But also grabbed? and kicked other male colleagues in the testicles. The outcome of this outrageous behaviour was a comment to ?Calm Down, have a think about her actions, and to drink some water?

Any of these actions would have resulted in?instant dismissal?for a male (If the roles were reversed)? but it?s ok, because she makes her sales targets.

For such supposed advantage? it seems that others can ?get away? with far more than I?

In Summary?

There is so much progress being made for women?s rights (which is deserved)

They deserve to be treated as equals, and with respect.

They deserve equal pay for doing the same job (Based on merit and competency)

It is easy to call out the ?exceptions? and the ?outlying data?? however, there are MANY men out there who believe and practice the principles above,

Who do not deserve to be tarred with the broad sweeping brush currently being applied to men in general.

Arguably equality is upon us? and from my personal experiences?.

If you want to be held to the same standards as a man, be careful what you wish for!

(The early deaths, higher incarceration, workplace deaths, suicide, family court decisions? and so on)

Much of what you deem acceptable in your world? is what you rally against in ours.

It?s time to embrace our differences, and work together, rather than assign blame.

Every day women around the world are subjugated, raped, beaten and treated worse that animals?

Apparently wearing a black dress, adorning a white flower? and celebrating the wins of removing ?darts? and ?grid? girls

Are the way forward for planet earth?

I for one implore you to focus on the real things that matter (and just to ?poke the bear? get over yourselves!)

Whilst not perfect, I consider myself to be an honorable man? (who?s increasingly being made to feel like a bad man)

What would work look like if men started calling out your bullshit to HR every day ?

Sort it out Ladies!


-Name withheld by request