Brummy the Two Foot Wonder

The following poem was inspired by an article published in the Daily telegraph that I happened upon one day a few years back. The article in question, written by James Greenwood, concerned his witnessing of an organised fight between a Bulldog named Physic and a dwarf by the name of Brummy. Greenwood reported this event to have occurred on June the 25th 1874 in Hackney. Greenwood included this event in his book ‘Low Life Deeps’ which was first published in 1876. Some artistic license was used when writing the poem.

 

Long ago in London town

the best entertainment doing the rounds

was a running feud between a human and a hound

Brummy the Two Foot Wonder,

 

He was two foot six if he was an inch

with bandy legs and a vice like grip

and when his blood got up he would never ever quit

did Brummy the Two Foot Wonder,

Oh Brummy!  They crucified you

but through all the mud and the blood your dignity shone through

and though very small your legend grew and grew

we’d be miles better off if there were more about like you,

 

Well Brummy never got a good start in life

for he was left outside on a cold wet night

so from day one he learnt how to fight

and he learnt how to pick and choose,

 

Till he was taken in by a roving pack

of filthy mongrels sniffing alley cats

and he fought for the best of the uneaten scraps

did Brummy the Two Foot Wonder,

 

Well one fine day a betting man

who owned a dog that bit Brummy’s hand

and he howled “I can lick that Hound I can!”

in the early afternoon,

 

And so pretty soon that fight was on

and Brummy’s life was sold for a song

but he beat that hound and he proved them all wrong

did Brummy the Two Foot Wonder,

 

So Brummy sparred with every dog he knew

and pretty soon a local legend grew

that here was a fella with a point to prove

and the money it began to flow,

 

Till Brummy had beaten every hound around

and the only K9 left in town

was the Bulldog Physic ever standing his ground

and looking pretty mean,

 

So the scene was set one hot June day

as the crowd all gathered down Whitechapel way

for the scrap of the century some folk would say

and the gin sold out too soon,

 

From round one they were evenly matched

Brummy swung high but Physic bit back

and the blood did flow like a split apple sack

and they both began to swoon,

 

But they got back up for the final round

as the bell rang out a rather ominous sound

and the two went at it pound for pound

yes the battle of wills was on,

 

And through it all the crowd did roar

with hedonistic joy at the gore

of all of the blood that flowed to the floor

and stuck to the sole of the shoe,

 

Oh Brummy! They crucified you it’s true

but through the mud and the blood your dignity shone through

and though you were small your legend grew and grew

we’d be far better off if there were more about like you?

 

So the outcome of this epic duel

this field of bloody atavistic rule

got a double helping of the nightly gruel

Brummy the Two Foot Wonder,

 

To disappear into oblivion

where echoes old are paper thin

and remembered only in the faded ink

of pages aged and few,

 

Oh Brummy they crucified you

but through the mud and the blood your dignity shone through

and though you were small your legend grew and grew

we’d be far better off if there were more about like you.

 


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ORANGE

  • A large round juicy citrus fruit with a tough bright reddish-yellow rind.

AMBER

  • Hard translucent fossilized resin originating from extinct coniferous trees of the Tertiary period, typically yellowish in colour. It has been used in jewellery since antiquity.

ORINJAMBA

  • Fifth generation Kiwi, social-political writer who left the Left sometime back and turned right. Heavily reliant on spell check with hopefully the intelligence to admit when he’s wrong and the humility to see the truth, irrespective of where it’s found.

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