Magic Mirror

Magic mirror

Guest post:

It had been months since Taxarella had her last audience with the Magic Mirror, so it was quite the delightful surprise when she found the entrance to the Magical bathroom once again. Hoping to find a message on the mirror’s surface to recite so she could receive some more wisdom, Taxarella couldn’t hold back and let out a youth-adjacent giggle discovering this new message…

“Mirror Mirror decorated with stuff,

Please advise me now I’m up the duff!”

And with that, the large, ornate Magic Mirror shimmered briefly before seeming to come to life offering wisdom, “Why hello again Taxarella… or should I call you Prime Minister?”

“It’s Jacinda actually… I’m just a farm girl from Morrinsville…”

“Zip it sweetie… don’t mention that too much… you’re not doing that town’s reputation any favours. The Labour party policies have bashed farmers and rural communities enough already… and I won’t even start with the hurt you lot are deliberately inflicting on students and parents who want to maintain a democratic choice with their children’s education.

You have big problems coming with the huge, huge issues Hipkins and Kelvin are going to have when it comes to proving “good faith bargaining” with their ham-fisted aborting of successful Charter schools… all because your political beliefs are intolerant of parents other political beliefs for options – even when those Charter schools demonstrate huge success.

Parents will punish you and your lot next election for this and this alone if you keep eroding their democracy without any kind of public mandate. This issue is a political hand grenade… and you guys pulled the pin whilst fumbling the pass. Even the NZ mainstream media won’t be able to shelter you on this matter soon. Not once the general public wake up…

Now, I really need to offer you some wisdom around your lifestyle choice options also. You’ll probably conveniently forget the media-generated tempest in a teacup when Prime Minister Key took a few hours of leisure time to play golf with America’s first Muslim fan… Here was a prime minister who worked damn near 24/7 for nine years, giving his salary to charity even… and the vitriol was toxic from you lot. Now contrast… here’s you, been in the job five minutes, not only wanting to do the job part-time when convenient, you also expect to be able to bulge your trousers with the entire pay increase also – whilst swanning off on lifestyle choice leave.

Strewth! Doing the role of the office of prime minister for all of New Zealand is NOT a part-time job when convenient. Nor is parenthood for that matter. Or, are you telling all other mums out there that, if you, Taxarella can be a mum… and do the most demanding job in NZ, doing it part time, then all other mums should be able to much lesser jobs… so, now, there’s even no need for maternity leave?

Even worse, now you’re also completely undermining all other world leaders, prime ministers and presidents. What you’re saying to the world is that not only is the role of the office of prime minister and leader of an entire country able to be done part-time when convenient… it can be done by someone with baby brain!

Taxarella, have you even managed to do any joined-up thinking on these matters? You might think you’re only needing to please Winston first for making you prime minister, but the voters really don’t like your virtue signalling and the fluffy-apple-pie-mumsy stuff in the glossy magazines to distract and obfuscate from all the back peddling. People don’t want to be lucky enough to win Lotto these days… people are now saying, “One day I hope to win the contract to be the chiropractor for the Labour party!” People are now saying you lot have more flip-flops than the warehouse of an Aussie jandal maker.

Couple all of that with the entire omni-cluster shambles from day one of parliament… then the issue of the “missing million” becoming the “missing billion – trees” and now the back-stepping flip-flopping of the 100,000 “affordable homes”. Strewth Taxarella, how ironic that the NZ Labour party’s greatest successful input into a parliament has been to Australia’s.

It was such an omni-cluster-shambles first 100 days… but please tell me, what do hokey-pokey ice cream and pickled gerkins together taste like anyway?”

And with that, Taxarella knew she’d been dismissed as the Magic Mirror shimmered briefly once more before going silent and dark. Taxarella could sense a foreboding ill wind blowing in her direction… with no billion trees or 100,000 non-houses to seek shelter from, she would have to one day face the real public – not just patsy photo opportunities at kindergartens – and one day, explain how the office of prime minister can be done part-time when convenient… and by someone with baby brain! This would take some spin because, deep in her socialist heart of redistribution, she knew the voters didn’t vote for someone to take a pay rise for the tough job of leading their country and her people’s aspirations… only to do it part-time when convenient.

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A guest post submitted to Whaleoil and edited by Whaleoil staff.

Guest Post content does not necessarily reflect the views of the site or its editor. Guest Post content is offered for discussion and for alternative points of view.