Comedy corner: Non-PC jokes guaranteed to offend



A woman wakes up after a vaginal tuck, to find three bunches of flowers on her windowsill.

One from her surgeon, to say all went well,

One from her husband, “get well soon”, and he loved her,

One from Tommy in the burns unit, to say “Thank you for the new ears”!




One day, a man walked into a dentist’s surgery and asked how much it would cost to extract a wisdom tooth.
“Forty quid,” the dentist said.
“That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man said. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?”
“Well,” the dentist said, “if you don’t use an anaesthetic, I can knock the price down to 30 pounds.”
Looking annoyed, the man said, “That’s still far too expensive!”
“Okay,” said the dentist. “If I save on time and simply rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to 10 pounds.”
“Nope,” moaned the man, “it’s still too much.”
“Well,” said the dentist finally, scratching his head, “if I let one of my students do it using pliers, I suppose I can knock the price down to a fiver.”
“Marvelous!” said the man. “Book my wife in for next Tuesday!”


 

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