Jacinda’s Newspeak additions to your vocabulary

The New Zealand Labour Party Manifesto 2017 says: Quote:

Labour will future-proof the New Zealand economy by transitioning away from our reliance on fossil fuels to a high-tech, low carbon economy – one that creates jobs by taking full advantage of renewable resources and existing and emerging technologies. […]

And we will safeguard the right of local communities to have their say on proposals that affect their environment, regardless of wealth or status. […]

The “Wise Response” society is a broad coalition of individuals and groups, and includes many prominent Kiwis. It has for some years been calling for the development of a cross-party approach to dispassionately and comprehensively assess imminent risks New Zealand faces, and to draw up plans to deal with them. In a petition to Parliament in 2014, it stated that “our future depends on having genuine sustainability as our core goal”; and that “most scientists believe critical “thresholds” are upon us, [and] that the consequences are likely to be disastrous and irreversible if we do not make urgent fundamental changes.”

The five priority issues Wise Response identifies are: economic security, energy and climate security, business continuity, ecological security, and genuine well-being.[…]

Labour will work with other political parties to implement a comprehensive risk assessment framework[…] End of quote.

Newspeak definitions that apply as at April 2017:
Future-proof an economy now means irreparably damage an economy on a whim.

Transitioning away no longer means “to undergo or cause to undergo a process or period of transition”. It now means an instant step-change signal to the world that New Zealand is closed for business in the energy security sector.

Communities to have their say means communities will be told without warning that we have killed their economic environment.

Cross-party now means Jacinda talks to no one and makes a “Captains call”.

Dispassionately no longer conveys the idea of investigating in an unemotional, rational, and impartial manner. The Newspeak definition is irrational actions based on biased placard waving.

Most scientists is an unquantified but reducing number whose tenure depends upon following Agenda 21.

Critical thresholds are now random made up numbers like two degrees Celsius.

Disastrous now means plants will grow better.

Energy security has been redefined as we are in deep doo-doo over this.

Business continuity is now a distant dream for many businesses based in the Taranaki region.

Work with other political parties means to do anything at all, regardless of the stupidity of the action, in order to have a chance at grabbing the reins of power.

Risk assessment now means a random announcement.

Please adjust your spoken and written communications to reflect these upgrades to New Zealand English.  Thank you.


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In solidarity with the those in the world’s most despised demographic, WH has decided to ‘come out’ as an old white male. WH enjoys exercising the white-male privilege that Whaleoil provides for him by writing the occasional post challenging climate change consensus; looking at random tech issues that tweak his interest, as a bit of a tech nerd; or generally poking the borax at anyone in public life who goes on record revealing their stupidity. WH never excelled on the sports field because his coaches never allowed him to play in his preferred position on the right-wing. WH also enjoys his MG.

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