The Labour/Green party instruction manual

Foreword by Justinda Ardeau to a special edition of Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell, (subtitled The Labour/Green party instruction manual).

Credit: Luke

My dear comrades,

With special thoughts to my extra super-heroes and comrades: Helen, Vladimir(s), Karl, Josef, Che, Fidel, Pol, Mao, Angela, Justin, the Georges (1) and the Winstons (2) and also to the myriads of others who have helped with assassination, murder, starvation, deprivation and other of our glorious tools in bringing the triumphant revolution to all four and a quarter corners of the Great Airstrip.(3)

It was with great excitement that I agreed to write a foreword to this new Newspeak edition of the Labour/Green Party instruction guide.

George Orwell could not have imagined in his wildest dreams that I, Comrade Justinda (Stuffed Kiwi) (4) Ardeau, would one day aspire to the position of Big non-gendered sibling-leader in Airstrip Aotearoa, and actually attain that coveted position. Nor that his vision of that utopia would actually be implemented by myself). But as the Supreme Leader of Airstrip Aotearoa (blessed be my name and title), I have followed the design of the utopia described in his book to the letter, except in those instances where I believe, with all modesty, that I have improved upon it.

Airstrip Aotearoa has long been the guinea pig province of the great superstate, (blessed be its name), for all manner of social experiments, due to its ideal sized population to determine the effects, which can then be transferred to more populous airstrips of the Superstate (blessed be its name).

Of course, the circumstances of my rise to power (known as “The Riseyness” in Newspeak) are well known, and were made possible by a combination of that very useful system known as MMP, which the people of Airstrip Aotearoa were conned into adopting, and an elderly politician with a forest on his shoulder, who facilitated my rise to power, and the adoption of AoSoc (5)  in this airstrip.

We in the Inner party are not prepared, however, to rest on our almond milk cartons. There still remains much to do. The Thought Police need more resourcing (hope you’re reading this George S) as thoughtcrime (6) still persists in some residents and must be stamped out.

But of course, we, the Inner party, are very grateful to the members of the Outer party who have facilitated our rise to power. “The fooly people” as we in the Inner party refer to them. Particularly the pre-Utopian newsmedia of course: they steadfastly ignored the substantive issues and scandals of the day, and focused on my smile, and followed me faithfully from kindergarten to pre-school, and reported all my skilful handling of the difficult questions these pre-schoolers threw at me. How naïve those children were, very much like the fooly reporters themselves, and how they swallowed (figuratively of course), the Newspeak definition of “free lollipops for all”, which in Oldspeak (which we are working hard to phase out), means “No lollipops for you, suckers”. As you would expect, secondary school students were a bit more challenging, but again the foolies came to my aid magnificently. Naturally, I didn’t visit any of those “charter schools” as they were known, and again the media foolies were very supportive.

The Minitrue (7) has been working very hard on the former students of those “learning institutions” and all of those students were forced to attend local UNICs (8), as of course there is no room for thoughtcrimes in our utopian society. With this in mind, the Miniluv (9) has paid particular attention to those who were subjected to the horrors of these institutions, and they, student and teacher alike, have kept Room 101 (10) busy.

Comrades, this book has been an inspiration to me, and of course, the crowning moment is the point at which Winston Smith, the hero, feels a deep love for “Big non-gendered sibling (11)”. This feeling of deep, warm love for me will soon sweep those few remaining dissidents who remain judgy towards me.  Judginess of any in the Inner party, as we all know, is forbidden, and as soon as the populace is ready, in fact before it is ready, it will become a capital offence. So there will be deep, warm love, or else.

So my dear comrades, let me introduce this new edition of “Nineteen Eighty-Four”, translated into Airstrip Aotearoan Newspeak. Read the book, Comrades, and familiarise yourselves with every word. For, when it was written in the year 68BJA (12) it seemed unlikely that those events could happen in this province of the Superstate (may it be worshipped, comrades). But the power of fooly people in positions of power and influence, and the power of Newcash in large quantities was underestimated, and here we are, on the cusp of our Airstrip Utopia. Comrades, comrades, comrades; get reading, memorising,  and obeying.

With benign affectionalness,

Comrade Justinda Ardeau.


Footnotes:

1. George Orwell and George Soros.

2. Not the WC person whose name is being expunged from History by editors in Minitrue. (Ministry of Truth). WP is the one Justinda has in mind.

3. The Great Airstrip or the New Superstate of which Airstrip Aotearoa occupies a quarter of a corner.

4. Justinda is famous for the presentation of a stuffed kiwi (emblematic of the process which her government is employing on her citizens) to a European Head of State.

5. AoSoc – Aotearoan Socialism in Newspeak.

6. Thoughtcrime in Newspeak is the crime of  Individualism or Independent thought.

7.  Minitrue: Ministry of Truth. Ministry of Propaganda and Historical Revisionism.

8. UNIC: United Nations Indoctrination Centres, formerly known as State schools. (Not mentioned in 1984).

9. Miniluv: The Ministry of Love, the ministry responsible for torturing dissidents.

10.  Room 101: Airstrip Aotearoa’s version of the Lubyanka. A Torture chamber.

11. Big non-gendered sibling, is, naturally, big brother/big sister as the case may be.

12.  BJA  refers to Before Justinda Ardeau or the Unenlightened Years.

 

by Aspie 101


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