Half an inch when fully reared, when lying down it disappeared…

Or so the saga of Tiny O’Toole goes. Meanwhile, in a courtroom in Wellington, some bloke is having to go back to the cells to have his todger measured by a doctor. I kid you not: Quote:

Kāpiti councillor David Scott’s penis has been measured for the jury hearing a charge of indecent assault against him.

Dr Bernard Cammack, who was giving evidence about Scott’s diabetes and an operation on his patient’s genitals, was asked by the defence to take Scott into the cells and provide measurements.

Moments later he returned to court and gave them to the Wellington District Court jury. The measurements have been suppressed. End quote.

He’ll be hoping that he’s more like Tiny O’Toole than Long John Thomas. Quote:

On Monday the woman who has accused Scott to rubbing up against her at a morning tea at the Kāpiti Coast District Council during a break in a council meeting had said she had felt something four or five inches long.

She was a staff member with the council and had been talking to the mayor over morning tea when Scott was said to have put his hands on her hips and rubbed or thrust against her.

She was shocked.

Cammack told the jury Scott had become his patient shortly after he had had an operation for a circumcision in November 2016. He had not heard from Scott that there was any issue with it healing.

He was also helping Scott to get his diabetes under control with injectable insulin. End quote.

They didn’t inject Viagra by mistake? Quote:

The woman had told the jury she was disgusted to feel Scott rubbing his genitals against her.

“I felt a touch on my right hip as if someone was asking me to move so I moved, about half a metre, then the hand came back and I felt a man’s body rubbing along the left-hand side of me and another hand grabbed my other hip, gripping me very tightly,” she said.

“I couldn’t move forward. I could feel a stomach and a belt buckle and parts of a man’s anatomy pushing around my backside and buttocks.”

The woman said she thought she stiffened up because the mayor stopped talking.

“It took four or five seconds for the person to move firmly along me, not moving past me. The direction was forward thrusting.”

She looked back and saw Scott. End quote.

Well, someone stiffened up, that is for sure. Quote:

The defence will contend that she could feel Scott’s wallet. End quote. 

An interesting defence: ‘Sorry your honour I was just trying to get past and my wallet, which is enormous and full of wads of cash, just rubbed against her by mistake… and got wedged… forcing me to place my hands on her hips in and attempt to unhitch the aforementioned wallet from her… ummm… backside.’

Yeah, that will work.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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