Good god: It’s not toxic masculinity, it’s called being drunk and obnoxious.


A journalist at a newspaper gets it completely wrong. Quote:

Quote:Last night my friend and I went to a bar. It was great, thanks for asking.

Except for the part where our night was ruined because we refused to let a man buy us a drink.

He approached us just as we were finishing our first beer, a middle-aged, well-dressed businessman.

“Let me buy you girls a drink,” he said, gesturing with his wallet. My friend, always polite, was about to accept, but I cut her off.

“No thanks, we’re driving.”

He pushed on. “How about a coke?” We refused again and he went away. We were relieved, knowing a drink is never just a drink, but comes with the obligation of polite and usually inane conversation.End of quote.

That’s one way of putting it. But hey, kudos for not leading him on. Quote:

Quote:[…] It’s a tiny bar, our local, the Dunedin version of Cheers, where people really do know your name. Outsiders stand out. And if someone is watching you, it doesn’t take long to work it out.

[…] Later, I came back from the bathroom to find my friend looking shaken.

“He came up to me,” she said. “Right in my face, like this.” She held her palm up to her nose.

“He said you’d lied, that you weren’t driving. I told him, we just didn’t want to talk to him and to go away.”

[…] However, on the way out, the man stopped at our table.

“You are the f***ing rudest women,” he said. He was shaking with rage.

As he walked out the door he stopped and looked back. I gave him the finger. He turned.

“Do you want to hit us?,” my friend asked. He stormed outside, paced up and down a few times and then disappeared into the night.

[…] Creeped out, we decided to go home. Our friend dropped me to my car, the 10-minute walk deemed too dangerous by myself. I was grateful.End of quote.

Yep, things could have been worse. So far just a story of more than likely an obnoxious middle-aged drunk with a sense of entitlement and a too high opinion of himself. But then … Quote:

Quote:This morning, I am fuming.

I’m furious at being forced into the role of damsel in distress. I am seething that it’s 2018, and women are still suffering due to unbridled male entitlement.End of quote.

Huh? It was one obnoxious guy. Quote:

QuotWe did not owe that man anything, and yet in his eyes, we did. I can’t stop thinking about what he would be like in a relationship. Would he feel entitled to tell his wife what clothes to wear? Would he feel entitled to have sex with her whenever he wanted? Would he feel entitled to hit her when she refused?End of quote.

Ok, so now he’s gone from having a sense of entitlement to being a rapist and abuser. Where’s Kelvin when you need him? Quote:

Quote:This is what is meant when we talk about toxic masculinity. Dominant behaviour that threatens women and promotes violence.End of quote.

If you read your own report the guy didn’t actually threaten you.

But anyway, two can play at this game.

Let’s say this journalist and her friend instead of doing the morally right thing, decided to lead the guy on and got him to buy them drinks? Would that be toxic femininity?

See, I’ve just defamed an entire gender.

Fact is, there is no such thing as toxic masculinity, only men who behave badly. Just like there is no such thing as toxic femininity, only women who behave badly. And just because a few behave badly doesn’t give anyone else the right to give it a label and by implication defame an entire group. Quote:

Quote:Please just stop. Because we are so tired of having to have this fight.End of quote.

Yes, well, I’ll just go and tell every guy I know not to act like a dick in bars.


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Libertarian and pragmatic anarchist. Treat everything the media says as a lie and know the narrative. Facts trump rhetoric.

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