High performance sports 2.0

High Performance Sport New Zealand

In solidarity, with the enlightened organisers of Miss America, 2.0, High Performance Sport New Zealand have decided to ensure that the athletes that represent New Zealand at international events are no longer selected on the basis of their sporting ability.

A spokesperson for the High Performance Sport New Zealand said that the concept of sports people being selected simply for their abilities and results on the track or race course was no longer appropriate in the 21st century.

HPSNZ is also encouraging all codes, Netball NZ, Rugby Union NZ, Rugby League NZ, NZ Football and others to get rid of the lycra sportswear and instead allow their participants to wear attire that makes them feel confident and expresses their personal style. The athletes will also spend time discussing how they will advance their chosen causes, called “social impact initiatives” rather than training in the gym.

“We’ve heard from a lot of young people who say, ‘We’d love to be involved in rowing or cycling but we don’t want to put in the hours of training and adopt rigorous dietary regimes,’ so guess what, you don’t have to do that anymore,” the spokesperson said. “Who doesn’t want to be empowered, learn leadership skills and be able to show the world who you are as a person from the inside of your soul.”

She continued, “That’s what we’re selecting our high performance atheletes on now.”

The sweeping changes to suggested by HPSNZ aim to help them, and the other sporting codes, be more inclusive and empowering for all. The spokesperson also said that she hopes the new concept for athlete selection will resonate more with young people.

“We are now open, inclusive and transparent and I want to inspire thousands of young people across this country to come and be high performance athletes,” she said. “We want you and we want to celebrate your accomplishments and your talents.”

“Forget the long hours of training, forget all the time spent in the gym, don’t worry about the excess of fast foods in your diet, if you self-identify as a high performance athlete – then we have a place for you in a rowing skiff or on a bike.  Talent and ability is no longer the benchmark.


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WH is a pale, stale, male who does not believe all the doom and gloom climate nonsense so enjoys generating CO2 that the plants need to grow by driving his MG.

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