Simon Wilson thinks that ‘cycle lanes will be this city’s new arteries’

What is it with carping, whining, lefty wankers who want to tell us how to live our lives?

Simon Wilson, operating from the Victoria Street West annex of Phil Goff’s office, is pushing for his lefty wet dream of promoting cycle lanes.

Apparently, we are all going to abandon our cars and take to cycling with gay abandon and cycle lanes will be the new arteries for our modern and vibrant city… bleeeeeeerrchhh: Quote:

“Come back to me when you’ve got some facts, not dishonest ideologically driven bollocks.”

Well thank you, Mike Hosking. It’s nice to be invited.

Last week I reported that an Auckland Transport survey showed there is now 65 per cent support among Aucklanders for cycle lanes. The proportion of people who say they support cycling is five times greater the proportion who say they do not.

On Newstalk ZB, Hosking said he simply didn’t believe it. People don’t support cycling, he told his listeners, and no one should trust the survey because it was an “opt-in” exercise, a “rort” that was “rigged” in favour of “bored deadbeats with nothing to do”. And it had a tiny sample size.

So, what were the facts?

The survey was not opt-in. The company that did it, TRA, bought its list of contacts from a large database provider called Research Now. Participants were asked to take part in the survey without knowing what it was for.

It was not rigged in favour of anyone. On the contrary: participants were screened to ensure the age, gender and geographic spread throughout Auckland corresponded to census data. The survey was weighted to not favour anyone.

The sample size was not tiny. It was large enough to give a confidence level of 95 per cent and a margin of error of around 2.5 per cent. End quote.

That isn’t a random survey or poll. What were the selection criteria for the purchase of the list of contacts? Smug, lefty twats who live in Point Chev and blog about lamb chop recipes, pots, pans and pannier bags? Quote.

Quote:

This is the context in which we debate cycle lanes. Not as a lifestyle choice but because we have to change the way we live. Population growth requires it. End quote.

No it doesn’t. That makes it sound like it is compulsory that we revert to archaic and wanky forms of transport. Quote:

We have to change how we use hospitals. What we call work, where we do it and how we’re paid for it. Where we live and what sort of places we live in. What we expect from schools. How we get on with each other when there are so many more of us to get on with.

It’s frightening, the changes we face. Much of what we value will change, whether we like it or not. But it’s also exciting. Urbanisation suggests that the problems of the world – if we are clever and compassionate enough – will be solved in the cities.

The changes can make our lives better. The city is our great hope. End quote.

Says the man who lives on the isthmus. I bet Simon Wilson wouldn’t be so keen to endorse a requirement for us to cycle if he lived in Whangaparoa and worked in town. Quote:

Despite what the critics say, cycle lanes in themselves don’t disrupt very much. But they have a larger role: they’re a pivot for thinking and doing differently. Grasp the potential of cycle lanes and you grasp much more about what a city can be. End of quote.

Don’t disrupt? WTF? He’s not just drinking Kool-Aid, he’s also gargling and, because he is a cyclist, he’s taking evening enemas with it. Quote.

A good network for safe cycling around schools and parks allows kids to cycle once again. Parents won’t need to drive them to school, so they won’t be stuck with the car for the rest of the day. Of course this won’t be true for all kids and all parents on every day of the week. But nobody’s saying everyone has to do it. End quote.

What a tool. The problem with kids not cycling to school is that the schools don’t want it. They’ve removed all cycle racks and if a kids really wants to cycle to school they actively discourage it. I know this because my daughter wanted to cycle to school and the school told us that it wasn’t acceptable. Quote:

And cycling to school isn’t just about easing traffic congestion. A third of New Zealanders are obese, according to Statistics NZ. Motor vehicles contribute to respiratory illnesses and are the major cause of greenhouse gas emissions in cities. Cycling is cheaper than taking the car. Cycling gives kids and everyone else who does it physical skills, mental skills, independence, fitness, a feeling of being alive in the world. End of quote.

Eat less; no cycling required. Sanctimonious, smug, Lycra-wearing wankers like Simon Wilson make me want to spew. I couldn’t give a fat rat’s arse if cycling is cheaper  it simply isn’t convenient. Imagine the stench of this smug aging hipster sitting next to you at work… not only with bad body odour but surrounded by a cloud of smug. Quote.

Cycling helps make sense of greater residential density. Auckland’s new housing projects will – if they’re done well – revitalise existing suburbs and establish new ones, allowing for more local services, more local opportunities for work and play, stronger local communities. End quote.

We don’t want greater residential density. That just means more wankers, like him, living closer to you. Quote:

There is an alternative, of course. There always is. We could keep sprawling into the countryside, cling to our cars and stack motorways on top of each other. We could completely clog up the city centre and gridlock the suburban arterial routes. End quote.

We could also remove those hideous, useless under-utilised cycleways and ban cycles. In the video on the Herald article one person claims he’s a road user… well, most road users pay road-user taxes… except for smug electric-vehicle drivers and smugger cyclists.

Smug cycling evangelists always want more and more and more public money spent on their tiny, crazed plans. It is high time that cyclists started paying for their own infrastructure, and then we will see how keen they are on cycling.

Ask emergency service personnel what they think about cycle lanes. They will tell you they are pain in the proverbial, dangerous and slow down their response times. What will Simon Wilson be promoting next: emergency service rickshaws? It’s called ‘the golden hour’, not ‘the golden three hours‘, for a reason.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

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