Non-existent African gangs don’t do nuffin again

Caption: This might look like a despatch from some shithole country, but it’s really the vibrant diversity of the World’s Most Liveable City. And don’t let anyone tell you different. Picture: Channel 7

Melbourne doesn’t have a problem with African crime gangs: the mainstream media says so. And it’s not like they’d try and mislead the public. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just a racist. Indeed, racist residents of Taylor’s Hill in Melbourne were forced to cower in their homes due to their own, unbridled racism.

Oh, and the fact that a hundred or so of those non-existent African gang members were rioting in the streets. Quote:

Residents of a Melbourne street where dozens of youths of African appearance last night set upon police and hurled rocks at their cars described how they feared for their safety and their children.

Police ordered people in ­Bronte Way, Taylors Hill, in Melbourne’s west, to lock their doors as they tried to gain control of a group that had gathered at about 7pm in a nearby park.

Projectiles, believed to be rocks, were hurled at officers and a police car was damaged before heavily armed specialist officers were called in.

Taxi drivers were warned on their in-car message boards to avoid the area “due to a riot”. End of quote.

“Riot”? Now, come on: that’s just being unnecessarily inflammatory. These racists are just trying to stoke racial tensions in the harmoniously diverse city of Melbourne. Those Africans hurling rocks and trashing police cars are just part of the vibrant tapestry of multiculturalism. The fact that riot police were sent in is just proof of the heavy-handed racism of the police. Quote:

No arrests had been made in the two hours after the violence broke out but police said they had “dispersed” the crowd. End of quote.

See? No arrests! Proof that it never happened. After all, Victoria Police have insisted that they take a zero-tolerance approach to law-breaking. Who are the cowering whiteys of Melbourne’s suburbs going to believe? The rozzers, or their lyin’ eyes? Quote:

One resident told the Herald Sun that police had told them the youths had gathered for “war”. End of quote.

Oh, those kids! Remember when hundreds of other non-existent members of those not-African, not-gangs were chanting, “death to whites!” Just a traditional show of ethnic pride. Only a racist would be bothered by such multicultural diversity. Quote:

Resident Peter Lazaridis told the Herald Sun he saw 30 youths of African appearance congregate at a local park. “I’m shit scared,” Mr Lazaridis said

Another resident told the Herald Sun…“They told me to stay inside, lock the doors and yeah, it’s scary, I’ve got a nine-year-old and an 11-year-old and they’re scared.” End of quote.

Tsk. Racists.

This isn’t happening. There are no African gangs. Africans are not over-represented in crime statistics. I mean, Waleed Aly says there’s nothing to be worried about. If you can’t trust that nice Muslim on the telly, who can you trust? Under no circumstances should you trust the blatant evidence of your own senses, and above all, pay no attention to those, ahem, “youths of African appearance” currently burning your suburb down.

Just lock your doors, stay inside, and above all trust the government and the mainstream media. They know better than you, you horrible racist, you.


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Who is Lushington D. Brady?

Well, a pseudonym. Obviously.

But the name Lushington Dalrymple Brady has been chosen carefully. Not only for the sum of its overall mien of seedy gentility, reminiscent perhaps of a slightly disreputable gentlemen of letters, but also for its parts, each of which borrows from the name of a Vandemonian of more-or-less fame (or notoriety) who represents some admirable quality which will hopefully animate the persona of Lushington D. Brady.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

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