Natural selection works again

The venerable Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honouring those who accidentally remove themselves from it. Perhaps not unsurprisingly, not a few Darwin winners are criminals. It’s well established that criminals have lower IQs than law-abiders. Crime also runs in families: children of convicted parents are overwhelmingly more likely to follow dear ol’ Dad into a life of crime.

So, all in all, the sooner younger criminals remove themselves from the gene pool, the better. Quote:

The body of a second boy has been found by police searching the Swan River in Perth after a group of teenagers jumped into the water while being chased by officers.

Police revealed overnight that the body of one teenage boy had been recovered from the water on Monday night.

They issued an update on Tuesday morning saying another teenager had now been found dead. End of quote.

So, why on earth were they being chased by the coppers? Quote:

Officers had been called to Tranby Road about 3:15pm when it was reported the youths were “jumping fences” in the suburb of Maylands.

Police arrived and chased several teenagers on foot. End of quote.

Wait, what? That sounds like a bit of an over-reaction to just kids jumping fences.

It turns out that there are some details left out of many reports: Quote:

A Maylands resident reported that their house had been ransacked in Clarkson Road, close to the Swan River, which wraps around the suburb in a U shape. There is no bridge, meaning the only way to exit the area is along a relatively narrow peninsula…two police officers were pursuing the boys when, sometime between 3.15 and 3.30pm, four of the boys jumped into the water and tried to swim to the other side. End of quote.

So, there we have it: the coppers were trying to arrest suspected burglars. Which is, after all, what police are supposed to do.

It further turns out that there was another detail curiously omitted from many reports: Quote:

Grief and shock have swept through a large network of Aboriginal families across Perth and regional Western Australia after two teenage boys drowned in the Swan River. End of quote.

It might be argued that this is an unneeded detail. After all, journalists are ethically bound to refrain from, “unnecessary emphasis on personal characteristics, including race, ethnicity”. But, as it happens, Western Australia has a particular problem with Aboriginal youth crime, and sandgropers are getting a bit jack of it. Quote:

There are concerns about the potential for vigilante violence as residents grow increasingly frustrated by the rising rate of break-ins, car thefts and vandalism…Numerous people who spoke to the ABC said it was only a matter of time before a child was injured or killed as residents booby-trap their properties and try to chase away the largely male, Aboriginal teenagers involved. End of quote.

But, of course, they was good boys. The usual wailing about “raaacism” will also no doubt waft forth from the stinkholes of Twitter. Quote:

Up to three officers waded in and rescued the boy nearest the shore…One of the police officers was swimming towards the two boys in the middle of the river when they went under. The officer continued swimming across the river to reach a fourth boy and helped him to reach the other shore. End of quote.

Geez, trying to rescue escaping suspects from the consequences of their own stupidity. How racist can you get?

There’s all the usual hand-wringing and pearl-clutching about “tragedy”, but, as the ancient Greek playwrights would say, tragedy is an inevitability. If teenage gangs are going to run rampant, (allegedly) burglarising and ransacking homes, and trying to scarper by jumping into rivers, inevitably someone’s going to remove themselves from the gene pool, sharpish.

If they didn’t, then their nearest and dearest wouldn’t have to experience such personal tragedy.


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Who is Lushington D. Brady?

Well, a pseudonym. Obviously.

But the name Lushington Dalrymple Brady has been chosen carefully. Not only for the sum of its overall mien of seedy gentility, reminiscent perhaps of a slightly disreputable gentlemen of letters, but also for its parts, each of which borrows from the name of a Vandemonian of more-or-less fame (or notoriety) who represents some admirable quality which will hopefully animate the persona of Lushington D. Brady.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

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