Climate alarmists, it’s time you killed your pets

Caption: These climate-destroying monsters have got to go. It’s for the good of the planet.

Climate activists are notorious humbugs, even by the fraudulent standards of green eco-crites. Celebrity climate doomsters use their fleets of private jets and luxury cars to swan forth from one of their opulent mansions and hector us common folk about our wicked, planet-destroying ways. Climate junkets are invariably held in exotic locales across the planet. Doom-mongering activists rack up hundreds of thousands of Business Class frequent flyer miles while they lecture the hoi polloi about the absolute necessity of going without, for the sake of the planet.

And, of course, entire rainforests have been razed to supply the endless stream of hysterical cut’n’pasted variations on We’re all gonna die!

The latest effluence of apocalyptic nonsense demands that we all turn to vegetarianism if we don’t want the planet to burst into flames at any moment.

By we, of course, the Gaia-botherers mean you and I. They will almost certainly claim exemption, as a kind of Indulgence from the Church of Gaia. After all, they’re sacrificing everything to take those luxury flights, just to tell us all how wicked we are.

But maybe it’s about time the climate brigade took one for the team. Quote:

If the climate activists really want to awaken us to the threat of global warming they should start executing their pets. After all, we have read about how herds of cattle and mobs of sheep contribute to the carbon emissions problem; hence the calls to eschew meat. End of quote.

It’s not as if there isn’t a precedent for this. In the early weeks of WWII, hundreds of thousands of Britons queued to have their beloved pets put down. The threat of Nazism pales beside the imminent global death machine of climate change, surely? Quote:

A range of studies have examined the carbon pawprints of pets. Some claim the impact of an average dog on the climate is equivalent to that of a car. A study by UCLA scientist Gregory Okin was published last year by the Public Library of Science quantifying the emissions from dogs and cats in the US at 64 million tonnes of CO2 equivalent methane and nitrous oxide. “Reducing the rate of dog and cat ownership, perhaps in favour of other pets that offer similar health and emotional benefits would considerably reduce these impacts,” Okin said. The paper raised concerns about how this climate impact would escalate as developing nations started to increase their rates of pet ownership. End of quote.

The IPCC includes a steadily-increasing proportion of female scientists. That’s a whole lot of cats to get rid of.

Anyway, it’s not like pets are useful. At least luxury jets serve the purpose of ferrying pampered climate activists back and forth on their taxpayer-funded junkets. Cows, sheep and pigs fulfill the much-less important function of feeding we commoners, but that’s still a use of sorts. What are cats and dogs good for? Quote:

Unlike sheep and cattle, pets don’t produce food or sustenance; they are just there for the indulgence of humans. So I reckon they should be the first thing sacrificed to save the planet.

Think of all the carbon emissions saved when fewer animals are bred and killed to feed our cats and dogs, fewer factories manufacture their meals and fewer trucks transport their tinned food. End of quote.

Climate activists are very big on symbolism, after all. Australia’s total carbon emissions are so minuscule that the entire population could vanish and it wouldn’t make a jot of difference to global temperatures. Nevertheless, we are badgered that we must switch to renewables, however ruinously expensive, because it “sends a signal”. Quote:

These activists fly around the world from conferences to media events, drumming up support from millionaire entertainers who fly around the world in their private jets. Some of the leading activists have multiple houses, multiple vehicles and multiple pets and yet they want us to suffer from steep power prices and give up our Sunday roasts. When they put down their pets, then we’ll know they’re serious. End of quote.


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Who is Lushington D. Brady?

Well, a pseudonym. Obviously.

But the name Lushington Dalrymple Brady has been chosen carefully. Not only for the sum of its overall mien of seedy gentility, reminiscent perhaps of a slightly disreputable gentlemen of letters, but also for its parts, each of which borrows from the name of a Vandemonian of more-or-less fame (or notoriety) who represents some admirable quality which will hopefully animate the persona of Lushington D. Brady.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

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