Whatever you do, do not invite these folk to Hawera

The Britannia Coconut Dancers

From their website. Quote.

The Britannia Coconut Dancers are a traditional male team only and like like [sic] many of the traditional Morris and folk teams?with no certainty can state the factual origins of the traditional dances that have been passed down through generations.? ?Every Easter Saturday without fail the Britannia coconut dancers all meet at what used to be the travellers rest public house which borders Britannia and Whitworth.? End quote.

How many triggers have just been pulled?

  • Britannia – I am sure that is offensive to many these days.
  • Coconut – well that is a definite no-no.
  • Male only – are these guys trying for the offend everyone record?
  • Easter – have to ban that, they can only appear at Diwali or Eid from now on.
  • Public house – alcohol in the mix as well.

The Britannia Coconut Dancers

Oh no, they are also cross-dressing! And prancing about like fairies.

And this is called entertainment?

We were shocked I tell you, shocked.? We simply could not watch such goings on in Abingdon, UK, and so after taking just 30 or so photos we were so offended we had to leave before the next lot offended our poor vegetarian souls.

Oops too late, triggered again!

Back to their website: Quote.

The garland dances that are performed open and close the seasons whereas the nut dances and figures portray a storey [sic] from when the men got trapped down the mines. end quote.

Where was Andrew Little when they needed him? quote.

The dances the team perform are ?folk dances? and the custom of blackened faces are [sic] thought to reflect a pagan tradition as a disguise from the evil spirits / and part of the mining connections. There?s no clarity on the tales that have been relayed by word of mouth, however the dances are known to be [sic] originated with Moorish pirates which[sic] the costume is that of what a Moorish pirate would wear. The Moorish pirates which originated from North Africa are said to have settled in Cornwall and they became employed in the local mines. As mines and quarries opened in Lancashire in the 18th & 19th centenary [sic] some of the Cornish men headed north bringing their mining expertise with them and it is with these men that the dances were reputedly brought into this area, in particular two Cornish men who came to work in Whitworth. […] The dances spread throughout Rossendale and around the turn of the century there were at least four troupes one of which was the Tunstead Mill troop [sic] who celebrated their half century in 1907 and is from this troop [sic] in [sic] which the Britannia Coconut Dancers descended from [sic].* End quote.

Grow up, all ye of the perpetually offended.

*?(They really do need an editor.)