Why is this news?

In the week when the Brexit agreement was unveiled, Karel Sroubek’s residency application is still unresolved, the government has announced that they will, after all, re-enter Pike River mine (well, the drift anyway), Shane Jones has managed to turn 800,000 seedlings into mulch and the All Blacks were beaten by Ireland,  Stuff has come up with this piece of staggering journalism. A child is organising a petition to get Metallica to come to New Zealand, and the prime minister has written him a letter.

Yes, folks. That’s it. Astounding. quote.

A young Hawke’s Bay Metallica fan has received a letter from the Prime Minister congratulating him on his efforts to bring the band to New Zealand.

Twelve-year-old William Bush launched a petition in September to bring the maestros of heavy metal to our shores, which had clocked up more than 4000 signatures at 3:30pm on Saturday.

Bush, who attends Havelock North Intermediate, said he was surprised to find the letter from Jacinda Ardern in his mailbox on Monday. end quote.

With all respect to Stuff journalists, we have much more important matters to consider right now. There was a ‘blackface’ incident in Hawera this weekend when a few people were offended. This was of such enormous importance, it was the leading news item for most of the day on Saturday. Prior to that, late last week, there was outrage because Bunnings issued a decree about how hot dogs are to be served on their premises, as onions falling out of the hot dogs have become a serious safety issue.

Then there was all the really important news coming out of the East Asia Summit in Singapore. Mike Pence asked to sit next to Jacinda Ardern at dinner. But then it turned out that he didn’t. She didn’t sit next to him. She sat next to Mrs Pence instead. This was truly mind-blowing. I’m surprised there have been no serious repercussions over this. This is a development of global importance. quote.

Bush said he grew up listening to the sorts of radio stations that play Metallica’s music.

“They’re one of my favourite bands and they haven’t played in New Zealand since 2010,” he told Stuff in October. “I was four in 2010. So I thought, what other way to get them to play here than to start a petition?” end quote.

Nothing Else Matters. Right? We have achieved world peace. Poverty is ended. Asia Bibi has been given asylum somewhere safe.

But then, in even more disturbing news, a stall selling golliwogs was also discovered at the Hawera A&P Show. This, along with the blackface incident, will probably be in the news for weeks, alongside developments in the Brexit issue and the turmoil in British politics.

Even worse, it seems that a large number of school students do not know what the word ‘trivial’ means. Obviously, they have never played “Trivial Pursuit”, or watched the sitcom, “Nothing Trivial” on TV. This is truly astounding. I am beside myself.

I’m just so glad we have got our priorities right here in New Zealand. quote.

In the letter, Ardern says: “It’s great to hear about young New Zealanders who are passionate about music.

“I grew up listening to Metallica and I’m really impressed by all the effort you have put into getting them to play a show in New Zealand.”

She ends by wishing him well with his campaign, adding “I hope you get to see Metallica play soon!”.

Bush’s hopes that Metallica will add New Zealand to their WorldWired tour were boosted after stand-up comedian and actor Jim Breuer, who opens for the American band at their shows, shared his post about the petition on social media.

“I’m pretty hopeful,” he said. end quote.

There really is nothing like stories of this nature to warm the heart. Sad but true. We are beginning to understand what Jacinda means by ‘bringing kindness back’. After all, how kind of her to get one of her secretaries to write the boy a letter like this. This is just mind-blowing.

The facts that we have record numbers of homeless people, we can’t get houses built, we are splashing money around the Pacific and the Far North in order to get these clowns re-elected; all seem to wash over the media pack like a cloud of fairy dust. They like to concentrate on the important things, as they Ride the Lightning.

I look forward to seeing what the media have in store for us all this week. There are transgender people who don’t know where to go to the toilet. I’m sure there will be a cat stuck up a tree in Timaru somewhere. That will keep us going until this great piece of real news finally manages to Fade to Black.

 


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Accountant. Boring. Loves tax. Needs to get out more. Loves the environment, but hates the Greens. Has been called a dinosaur. Wears it with pride.

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