Let’s ban cars from Auckland’s CBD

Credit: Brett Phibbs

Sick of the convenience of taking your car into the city?? Simon Wilson talks through his ideas on how to remove cars from the inner city.? This from A Newspaper.? Quote:

Next year, hallelujah, we’re going to have some trials to work out how to remove unnecessary cars from the inner city.

What does it mean? We don’t know. There’s still much to be resolved, especially for people with special mobility challenges, tradies and people who don’t want to ride a bicycle or scooter. And if you work late ? if you feel vulnerable for any reason at all ? and right now your car provides you with transport security, how will you get home?

Much to decide. Therefore, much need for trials. Here are 25 they might try. end quote.

I’ve taken the 25 headlines that Simon used, which you can read for yourself in the article, and come up with some comments and some translations of what he really has in mind.

1. Get the whole council on board, especially Auckland Transport.

Well, that’s pretty unlikely.

2. Experiment with fares and frequencies.

Let’s really mess with the timetable, as they did in Wellington, that was a huge success!? People are still raving about it.? Oh, wait ?

3. Fix the shared spaces.

Create more opportunities for pedestrians to be mown down by errant scooters and bikes.

4. Remove car park spots.

Have trouble walking? Something heavy to carry?? Be prepared for a long hike to the nearest carpark.

5. Just close High Street.

Don’t bother with pesky consultation, just close it!

6. Put bike/scooter lanes on Queen Street.

Because bikes and scooters are the answers to every transport need.

7. Highlight taxi ranks and ban cruising.

Taxis will become like buses and will only drop you off at inconvenient locations, not the places you actually want to go.

8. More e-cargo bikes

Because bikes can deliver anything, large or small.

9. Put all the buses on Wellesley Street.

Why would you want to take people to where they want to go?? Just drop them wherever it suits you, let them walk the rest of the way; lazy buggers.

10. Make that linear park on Victoria Street.

Trick people into thinking they are really in New York, with a Times Square makeover for Victoria St.

11. Use construction disruption.

Make the city so ghastly people will stop coming.

12. Plant edible gardens

Feed the homeless and get rid of cars, win-win!

13. Paint a poem on the road.

That’s the idea, everyone will be so busy reading prose, they will forget they needed to go somewhere.

14. Set up some culture and history stations

So that people can say “ah, remember the days when we used to have transport?”

15. Set up some art stations

Yes, that will cheer people up.

16. Encourage the inside to come out.

We can close our eyes and pretend we are at a market in India, or Marrakesh.

17. Go carrot and stick on private car parks.

Sell out the staff car park and give them a Hop card instead, that’ll work!

18. Promote the Link buses.

Because a bus will take you exactly where you want to go, door to door.

19. Use the festivals.

Blame someone else for road closures.

20. Have rolling closures.

Cause so much chaos that people abandon the city altogether.

21. Big public display boards.

Give the frustrated commuter something to draw on, let them express themselves, get creative.

22. Create some carpark zones

Only one or two, mind, we mustn’t overdo it.

23. Last mile shuttles.

Because the ‘last mile’ of your trip is all that matters.

24. Do more surveys.

Well, that’s a good option, if it means you are so busy doing surveys, you don’t have time to put any of these stupid ideas in place.

25. Do these things in other places too.

Once you’ve destroyed the inner city, spread out slowly to the outer suburbs.