Archives

Will Seymour rail against ‘womansplaining’ House of Travel ad?

All sizzle, no sausage!

On talkback radio on Sunday, we got to hear from Act leader David Seymour discussing the recent Kiwibuild bagging, social media ad from the National Party. You know the one, where the pretty ex-brunette has her Kiwibuild enthusiasm slightly adjusted by an informed bloke at a bbq.

There are times when Mr Seymour really should think before he speaks. Unfortunately his opinion of the frankly innocuous ad, was that it was sexist, and belonged in the 70’s.

Good grief man, get a grip. The people who vote for Act probably couldn’t care less about the ad. I would imagine a few of them were probably a bit gutted that they hadn’t thought to put out something as clever. And the voters you’re trying to get from those other parties probably just slide you down another notch on their like-ability scales and up another notch on their cringe scales.

But if that’s they way he really thinks, I expect Mr Seymour will cross to the dark side and join the hordes of screaming sculls that will no doubt be complaining about the awful, womansplaining, anti-white, sexist, racist, House of Travel ad that is currently screening on the tele.

Read more »

Help an oiler out: Do you know this man?

Years ago I used to live in Auckland, a nice part but still Auckland, so of course we had to be very careful with security, locking doors and windows, setting alarms etc.

When I left for the South Island, it was like moving back in time. We used to say Arrowtown was New Zealand, thirty years ago. It only took us about two weeks to realise that there just wasn’t much in the way of crime down there. And it is quite freeing being able to live without the constant fear that we had in Auckland.

I have always felt the same way about Mangawhai Heads, where we have a bach. Sure there are always a few mongrels about over summer, but it really is a pretty cruisy spot.

But it looks like you have to lock your doors everywhere now, even when you are at home!

Last Saturday morning at 4.07am, I was asleep in my room. Thankfully my wife wasn’t there and neither was the 88 year old Mum in law.

The piece of crap pictured above came into my house, had a wee look around, then started to very quietly make his way into my room. He buggered off when I challenged him and I managed to see him run up the driveway.

Read more »

Oops, looks like ‘Ocean CleanUp’ doesn’t work

Ocean CleanUp, sea plastic removal system

You may recall reading about the Ocean CleanUp in the past but in case it’s new to you, Ocean CleanUp is a system for passively trapping the plastic waste that is in the so called Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

It is a pretty ingenious system involving a floating U-shaped boom, hundreds of metres long which is designed to be abandoned in the ocean while it gets blown about by the wind and currents, casually trapping thousands of tonnes of plastic ready for later removal by a ship for recycling.

The plan, which has so far cost over $20 million, was to ramp up the program with the aim to soon have around sixty of these booms floating about in the ocean, leading to 50% of the plastic being removed every five years!

Prior to deployment there was nearly 300 tests, mostly computer modelled but also small-scale practical tests. Everything was going peachy and the first device, nicknamed ‘Wilson’, was taken out into the middle of the patch and let loose. You can check the ambitious project here.

Unfortunately, it seems that the winds and waves way out in the middle of the ocean have never heard of computer modelling and refused to play ball. It seems that although the device does at times capture plastic, it often just flows straight back out again. The unit has been towed to Hawaii for repairs and re-evaluation.

Read more »

‘Look mummy l made the New Zealand flag!’

This picture popped up on my Facebook feed this week.

It was accompanied simply with the comment,

Coming back from kindy. “Look mummy I made the New Zealand flag!

Discuss.

The fight to lower the road toll needs your help

The Police need your help. Credit: Stuff

I talked a few weeks ago about what might happen if we got rid of traffic police altogether. If you were on holiday and missed it, you can read it here. I discussed how the road toll might be affected, and some possibly better ways to spend the huge amount of money that traffic policing costs, like on targeting suicide prevention.

Now clearly we are never going to have the traffic police disbanded, but if we want to see the needless road deaths reduced, we can’t leave it solely to the police. There is only so much that can be gained by their concentration on the evils of momentum. After all, inappropriate speed is only a factor in about 20% of fatal crashes.

So let’s look at some things that you personally can do to not only protect yourself while out there driving but also to help with the greater goal of reducing road trauma.

Read more »

Air NZ pull awful safety vid, because foreign rappers said it sucked

Air NZ safety video featuring a famous Maori kid, some Air NZ staff and a rapper bloke who used to be a girl. No longer polluting your national airline.

Last November you may recall a Whaleoil post letting you know just how awful the latest Air New Zealand safety video was. Well finally, some two and a half months later, a newspaper has finally picked up on the story.

It’s a good thing they have. They might be a bit late to the party but in their article from the 30th of January, they make mention of a couple of very ‘famous’ rappers from overseas who publicly bagged the airline for their terrible, amateurish attempt at being cool.

These rappers (for older oilers, that’s basically talk-singers) quietly mentioned to their billions of Twitter followers how cringeworthy the safety video was, and apparently that was all that was needed for Air NZ to swiftly pull the offending video.

Replacing the rap monstrosity, an old 2016 safety video called Summer of Safety, which stars Rachel Hunter, will be screened instead.

Air New Zealand says its decision is based on a new campaign to stimulate domestic travel and promote tourism to Northland.

Yeah, I’m gonna call bollocks on that one Air New Zealand. We all know Shane Jones has heaps of money to give away to Northland. Just because he likes to attack you all the time doesn’t mean you should be sucking up to him.

Read more »

A NZ wide road trip in an EV? Yeah, nah

BMW I3, a funky, cool city car, not suitable for the Auckland to Wellington blast.

A friend of mine has a BMW I3 as his company car at the moment. He gets a new car roughly every six months and so decided to grab one to see if he could live with an electric vehicle on a daily basis. Well actually it’s a kind of a hybrid in that it has what BMW call a ‘range extender’ which is a small petrol engine that can help by charging the battery when needed. He loves it.

Well to put that in context, he loves it for a city car. Because he’s a petrolhead, the big draw-card for him is the amazing grunt off the line. These things really are pretty powerful. The next biggest attractant for him is the free power: he gets free, (read company supplied), juice at his work. As a city car, for getting him to work or the kids to school he says you can’t beat it.

I had a drive in it the other day. Certainly I was impressed with the acceleration, but after playing with that a couple of times, I was over it. Maybe I’m just getting old. At the end of the day, it is just a sort of weird looking toy car to me. I figure if I can’t put a sheet of corrugated iron inside it, it just isn’t big enough for me.

Read more »

Muslim man wants toilet paper banned: Well the insulting one at least

Please don’t wipe with Aloe imprints, it’s insulting to Islam!

I always say that life is too short to drink bad coffee or use cheap toilet paper. Having a supply of lovely soft, three ply, well embossed loo roll around the house is an absolute must. There is nothing worse than that hideous plain, scratchy stuff that seems to be all that is ever available in public conveniences or at my cheap-arsed friend’s workplace.

The embossing is there for a reason of course, to make it softer, and dare I say it, more absorbent. If the embossed pattern on it relates in some way to some other characteristic of the product, say for instance it looks like an aloe leaf on the rolls that have a hint of soothing aloe in them, then that just makes everything seem right with the world when I’m spending time in the smallest room in the house.

But no, not for the Muslim activist Musa Ahmed from the great Islamic nation of England. Poor Musa is one of those queer eyed guys who seems to find offence everywhere he looks, and this time he can clearly see that Marks and Spencer have deliberately placed embossing on their budget bog roll that looks exactly like the spelling of their god, you know, the one whose prophet you’re not allowed to draw pictures of.

Read more »

Grieving ‘burnout’ Mum asks for video to be shared to make her sons famous

Juanita Hickey, aka Jay Rose, Facebook, 27 Nov 2018

People grieve in different ways. I have no idea what it must feel like to lose two sons in such a devastating way as Juanita Hickey has. Clearly they live in a different world to many Whaleoil readers, so what might seem completely abhorrent and abnormal to us may feel perfectly natural and normal for them.

I would imagine that to many people the thought of doing a tribute burnout, to honour the memory of your two sons who died as a result of dangerous driving in a stolen car after failing to stop for police, might seem like a pretty weird way of celebrating their lives. Particularly since they are reported to have been doing burnouts in the stolen car behind Mum’s house not long before their last ill-fated journey.

But to make matters worse, the boys’ Mum, Juanita Hickey, who also goes by the name of Jay Rose, has posted a video on YouTube of the burnout she so lovingly did in honour of her kids. Her post on Facebook shows the video with a link and the caption… quote.

My boys always wanted to be famous, (not infamous) but this is the closet I can give them. PLEASE SHARE SHARE SHARE!! End quote.

facebook

Read more »

Labour MP wants to start school later, because, climate change!

Umm, it’s really hot, cause umm, ooh I know, Climate Change!
Photo: YouTube.

When I was a wee fella, our family used to have a bach on the edge of the water at Coopers Beach way up north. As my Dad was a school principal, we got to spend all summer up there, and the memories I have of that time are much like you probably have of your own summers.

I’m 53 this week, but I still remember what it was like when I was a kid, the long hot summers at the beach, spending all day out in the sun playing, wandering off to other friends places, down to ‘the surf’ or over to the other bays, going missing all day and turning up at dinner time, skin red and burnt at the beginning of summer but by the end we were just as brown as the local indigenous population.

The author (on right) playing at being pirates, sunken chest and all! Circa 1978.

Of course as kids we all saw that time in our lives through rose tinted glasses, (Ha, sunglasses? Nobody had those!) We would always forget the storms that would lash through every Christmas, the sometimes weeks on end of rain, early summers when there was no soft sand on the beach as it rained so much. In our minds, all that was forgotten as soon as you got your towel out of the cupboard and got out in the sun.

Read more »