The tale of the wicked giant: Part 2

Sir Bob Jones. Author extraordinaire.

You can all read Sir Bob’s latest musings and thoughts on his No Punches Pulled blog.

Following on from yesterday’s initial excerpt from Sir Bob’s book, New Zealand the way I want it, (1978), please enjoy part two.

The Tale of the Wicked Giant. Part 2. (If you’ve missed the previous installment, just click on ExPFC in blue at the bottom of the page to catch up).

[…] The people were puzzled. ‘How can we possibly have these things for nothing?’ they asked.

‘That’s easy’, replied the malcontents, ‘let the strongest give them to us and the strongest is Government.’

Now Government, although the biggest and fattest person in New Zealand, was rather a sleepy old giant and wanted nothing more than to be left in peace to guard against dangers unknown so for a time he ignored the demands of the malcontents.

This infuriated them and as they had lots of time, thanks to the hard work of their parents, they decided to make a nuisance of themselves and prod sleepy old Government into action.

So they marched up and down the streets in processions carrying banners proclaiming their natural human rights, which they demanded Government give to them free. When Government continued to ignore them they began to insult him and call him rude names and suggest he was not really the man for the job.

At this suggestion Government pricked up his ears, for he liked his job which was easy and well paid and did not want to lose it. He decided to discuss the matter with the malcontents.

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The tale of the wicked giant. An old fairytale by Sir Bob.

Sir Bob Jones: Teller of tales.

I was chatting with a couple of teenagers the other day, generation Z’ers I guess you might call them. We were having a discussion about what exactly government was and why we needed one. It’s quite a hard question to answer. There are plenty of papers and books published on this subject but in reality they’re reasonably heavy going, and if you can get a teenager to actually read a discussion paper then you’re a better man than I.

Then I remembered reading an old book that was written by our very own Sir Bob Jones, way back in 1978. The book is titled ‘New Zealand The Way I Want It and in that enlightening tome is Chapter 14, ‘A 22nd Century Fairy Story. The Tale of the Wicked Giant. Of course I wasn’t able to coerce the teenagers to actually read the book but I believe that the intelligent readers of Whaleoil might appreciate seeing it in a short series of posts.

You can all read Sir Bob’s latest musings and thoughts on his No Punches Pulled blog which is regularly highlighted on our fair site. In the meantime, enjoy over a few days, his delightful way of describing governments as it all just seems too jolly familiar at the moment.

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Formula E is losing big money. Is a race still a good idea for Auckland?

Mitch Evans Formula E Jaguar

Back in March this year, Newshub had an article advising us all that Formula E boss Alejandro Agag wanted to let us know that if Auckland wanted to have a Formula E race scheduled for 2020, they had to get their act together and make a decision, as time was running out. This was on top of a Stuff article from December that basically told us the same thing.

And yet this week we learn that Formula E is haemorrhaging money like NZ First is bleeding support.

Formula E revealed that its pre-tax loss “widened” by 26.7% to $44.7M (NZD) last year, giving it combined losses of $282M since it held its first race in ’14.

Now Formula E is something that the bigwigs at ATEED are pretty keen on. They believe holding a race in New Zealand could generate $150 million dollars for our economy (presumably this is over the requested five year term) with an outlay of only $14 million. Of course the $14M is just to buy the rights. As I understand it, the actual cost of the event would surely be on top of that, even if it is mainly run on the wharves of Auckland. Ask Hamilton how much it costs each year to run the Supercar races!

And everyone knows that if Auckland Council have any role to play in running it, the costs will blow out quicker than you can say “Massive money-hungry hole in the ground”.

Weirdly, James Shaw is reported in the above Stuff article as being “fantastic within the Greens to push this through.”

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Judge gives 10% off jail because the offender’s forgotten how to be Maori

Judge Gregory Hikaka. Credit: Stuff

Or perhaps that headline should read because the offender isn’t Maori enough! Quote.

On Tuesday, Derek Manihera Stubbings was sentenced in New Plymouth District Court to three years and six months’ jail on nine charges related to a December 6, 2017 attack.

Stuff end quote.

Stubbings had denied three charges of male assaults female, two of indecently assaulting a female over the age of 16, and one each of assaulting a child, threatening to kill and assault with a blunt instrument but was found guilty by a jury following his February trial.

After the guilty plea was handed down, Stubbing’s lawyer Turitea Bolstad, asked for a ‘Cultural Report’ to be obtained prior to sentencing. This report subsequently identified a “Cultural disconnect”. Quote.

Stubbings had a reasonably strong understanding of te ao Maori concepts in his younger years, but “sacrificed his own cultural identity as a consequence of some risk taking behaviour” in his teens, the report stated. End Quote.

Stuff end quote.
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What now Prime Minister, a tyre cover on your head?

NZ’s selected Prime Minister mourning road deaths. (Satire)
Photoshopped image – Boondecker


Satirical article.

Okay Ms Prime Minister, how are you going to show your support for the dozens of New Zealanders killed on our roads this year? April, of course, has been particularly bad. At least 45 people have lost their lives on New Zealand roads last month alone.

We all know how much Ms Ardern loves to dress up and be seen by the media with her concerned face on when tragedies happen, so I wonder why we haven’t seen her out and about, showing all those poor families how sad she is. Surely one of these fetching SUV tyre covers would be suitable?

Sad/concerned face with dress ups, Islamic Version.

I think she might have been a bit busy when there were all those Christians murdered by some terrorists over in Sri Lanka. Ardern possibly had this little get up below ready to rock, but I suspect she was probably just a bit busy dealing with all those important things like packing for her virtue signalling/granny knows all jaunt to see her other boyfriend Mr Macron. After all, everyone knows that when one’s telling the Internet off, one must have appropriate ankle boots on hand. I wonder what she will wear on her head there? Perhaps a couple of keyboards around her neck or a monitor attached to her head!

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Moonbathing on the Harbour Bridge!

Moonbathing on the Auckland Harbour Bridge, 1962. Credit – Warehi Britton.

I found this great picture on a Facebook page called North Shore, NZ History and Memories. It reminded me of all the times I have stopped at the top of the harbour bridge in the line of duty, and of the times when we used to walk up to the top of the arch in the middle of the night or climb about under the bridge, through the clip-on sections etc. I suspect it might be slightly more dangerous nowadays!

The photo came with the following explanation of how the scene came about. Enjoy.

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Did Joe Biden really just steal Trump’s byline?

Former US Vice President Joe Biden announced on Twitter he was entering the 2020 White House race.

Former Democrat senator Joe Biden has thrown his hat in the ring for the Democratic nomination in the upcoming US general elections. He wants to be president and he only has to beat Hillary Clinton, 1/1024 Native American Elizabeth Warren and about sixteen others to get the nod that will allow him to go up against Trump in 2020.

Everyone knows that when you are having a crack at ruling the world, you have to have a catchy byline so that everyone knows what you?re all about. So, what did Biden and his team of hundreds of helpers come up with? Quote.

America is coming back like we used to be. End quote.

Seriously? Why didn?t he just use Trump’s ?Make America Great Again?? At least there are heaps of hats already on the market. His version will be far too hard for the screaming lefties to read through their liberal tears when Trump wins another term.

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Free driving lessons for disadvantaged yoofs?

Photoshopped image credit: Boondecker

Last week your prime minister announced that sher and her Labour-led coalition partners are keen to part with a bit more of your money in order to help some of the disadvantaged yoofs of New Zealand get driver’s licences.

Their plan is to spend five million dollars starting June 1st to get 2,500 disadvantaged young people onto at least their restricted licence. This is over and above their stated intention of giving free driving lessons and licence tests for all senior high-school students; announced before the 2017 election as part of its School Leavers Toolkit policy which was also announced in the speech from the throne.

According to that policy, every student will be offered five hours of professional driving lessons, a defensive driving course, and free testing for their learners’ and restricted licence before they leave school.

I’m a bit conflicted on this one. On a few of the MoT and police oriented sookbook pages that I follow, I was kind of surprised to see that most of the commenters were quite anti with regard to this announcement . The general consensus being along the lines of…quote.

“If we had to pay for it, so should you, get off your butts and sort yourself out, don’t expect us to hold your hand”

End quote.

As a centre-right kind of a guy, I can see the merit in those arguments.

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Trump trolls Sanctuary Cities and libs heads explode

Alyssa Milano – ‘Immigrants? Wait what, here? Umm, No thanks’

Trump really is an epic troll, I’m not sure there is anyone out there in politics that does it better. He is master at showing the liberal muppets up as the disingenuous flakes that they really are and calling them out on their ridiculous virtue signalling.

Liberal celebrities, pundits and politicians expressed their displeasure after reports revealed President Donald Trump and his administration were weighing the release of immigrant detainees into San Francisco and other sanctuary cities.


President Trump has been a vocal critic of the Sanctuary Cities and their policies of providing a haven to criminals and illegal immigrants. Naturally they are mostly centred on the east and west coast of the USA, typical Democrat areas.

Naturally, the lefty screaming skulls have started exploding. Liberal actress and activist Alyssa Milano was among those disturbed by the news.

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A personal thank you to some of our local heroes

Some may have noticed I have been a bit quiet over the last few weeks. To be honest, the actions of the Christchurch Coward rattled me pretty badly. Not so much because of the act itself, as monumentally awful as it was, I didn’t have skin in the game. I could compartmentalise in my mind the suffering of the victims to a large extent, allowing them to go through their own grieving process, I didn’t need to be a part of that. I also didn’t want to be a part of the television grief-porn and to that extent, I have not watched any MSM news since that day.

But what did hit me was the awful impact that the events were going to have on the emergency responders. The thought that so many police, ambulance, hospital staff etc would be heading home to their loved ones damaged internally because of what they had to endure, was extremely difficult for me. How hard it must be for those semi-forgotten professionals to shake this off worries me. How the wives and kids of these people will undoubtedly be affected is anyone’s guess. One postmortem at a time might be difficult enough, but to have to get fifty done in one hit must be really hard, no matter how used to it you are.

And I seem to have had my fair share of interactions with emergency responders over the last couple of months. Some of you fair Oilers may know that I am a bit injured at the moment. I blew my collarbone to pieces back on Feb 1st as a result of a freak bodysurfing accident. Shortly thereafter I had the naked swan flogging intruder and on Thursday last week, my dear wife’s 88-year-old Mum collapsed at my place and passed away.

I was glad that I had brushed up on my CPR recently when I did a post here on it. It didn’t work this time, but at least I was able to give it a go. It was traumatic nonetheless, and I was extremely grateful to another unsung hero at the other end of the 111 phone line who calmly and professionally helped me to do what was needed.

So it is all these people who are the real heroes in our society. The brave Police staff who ran toward the danger. The nurses and the doctors who will never forget.

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