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Hello Cognitive, Have You Met Dissonance?

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Satire

My name is Weibe Wakker, and I empty the pockets of stupid people. You won’t believe how clever I am. All I have to do is claim to drive an electrically-motivated car from coal-fire generated electricity Holland to across the world, taking advantage en-route of the gas-fired electricity of the Middle East, the coal-fired electricity of India, then the gas and coal and palm-oil fired electricity of Indonesia to my destination in coal-fired electricity Australia to prove how sustainable my clean ‘electricity-powered’ VW Golf is [Cough].

I covered this route at the amazing rate of 82 kilometres per day! Yes! 50.9 miles per day; that’s faster than walking!

I have no idea what my carbon-footprint is from this folly, better not say.

Arriving at my intended destination after three long years (Thank the Lord I don’t have children screaming: Are we there yet?) I found myself hooked on business-class eco-welfare. I couldn’t believe how gullible some people are. I solicit, and receive, big bucks and free accommodation on my travels from the true believers who support my little joke, so I hopped on a boat with diesel-electric engines to get to truly gullible New Zealand where I sought out the ultra-gullible, and Yes! They were truly taken in.

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The Confiscation Blow-back Debacle

Advocates for liberty are watching New Zealand as we speak, quietly admiring the individual resistance (quite obviously on display) from members of the firearms owning community in, so far, failing to participate willingly in the confiscation of their devices.

Let me say, from the outset, I have no skin in the game as I have no firearm to lose. I am however very interested in individual liberty and from that stance can understand the admiration felt by some libertarian commenters, for the apparent stand being taken individually, quietly, and stubbornly by those not abiding by the government directive.

Just in the space of the last seven days three posts caught my eye, each with a slightly different take on what this resistance means, each looking for clues in the character of the New Zealander standing by his or her rifle, or into the character of a government which determined it would make criminals of the law-abiding, in response to an event the targeted group had nothing whatsoever to do with.

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Jeremy Hunt Speaks with Forked Tongue

Behold: the snake speaks! Isn’t it amazing how the creature finds a voice for Christians in perfect timing for his run at the role of prime minister?

“The report highlights the shocking impunity with which discriminatory laws, fear and violence are used by state and non-state actors to discriminate appallingly against Christians in countries across the world.”

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Snitches Unleashed

Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of Socialist jackboots arriving with a whole army of snitches, and they’re coming for you first, Facebook user. They arrive on Tuesday.

The political left has always been enamoured of informers. It’s believed the East German Stasi had a roll of close to 200,000 of them. Under Soviet control, Russia had so many that every single conversation, public and private, had to be guarded, turning citizen against citizen.

That the prime minister of New Zealand has a part to play, as a puppet, in this new and extremely sinister development is a disgrace to our nation. Believing she was ‘doing something’ in the wake of the Christchurch abomination, she got sucked in; she became but a ‘useful idiot’ in a plan that had already been worked on for nearly a year by the French regime under socialist Macron. He even used her ‘star power’ and the Christchurch incident as a pretext while announcing the set of evil regulations he expects to pass this coming week.

Under Macron’s proposal, and with the full cooperation of Facebook in a capitulation reversing presumed privacy, all the snitches will have to do is stomp a button which will be appended to all Facebook posts in France asking “Does this post contain hate speech?” and immediately the poster becomes a ‘suspect’. It is a cowardly collusion simply to further Zuckerberg’s business interests in Europe and is an extreme betrayal of users’ trust,

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Happy Freedom of Expression Day Oilers

If you sensed the ground trembling just a little yesterday; relax. It was nothing to be concerned about. It was just the combined chair, board, executive members, lawyers, sponsors and insurers of the Australian Rugby Union shaking in their collective boots.

From the Court of Appeal at the Royal Courts of Justice, London. 3 July 2019:

This case concerns the expression of religious views, on a public social media platform, disapproving of homosexual acts.

The mere expression of views on theological grounds (e.g. that ‘homosexuality is a sin’) does not necessarily connote that the person expressing such views will discriminate on such grounds. In the present case, there was positive evidence to suggest that the Appellant had never discriminated on such grounds in the past and was not likely to do so in the future (because, as he explained, the Bible prohibited him from discriminating against anybody) […]


The Respondant failed to appreciate two matters. First, failing to appreciate that the Appellant’s apparent intransigence was an understandable reaction to being told something that he found incomprehensible, namely that he could never express his deeply held religious views in any manner on any public forum […]

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Fly on the Wall of Sky TV

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Satirical content
Not an actual transcript

Grant Nisbett: Welcome back folks and thank you for joining us as we prepare for kick-off to start the second half here in the big one: ‘The Year of Delivery’. Joining me in the commentary box to talk about the first-half highlights is Dr Megan Woods, Member for Wigram. Good morning Dr Woods.

Ms Woods: Morena Grant. Happy Matariki to you.

Grant Nisbett: Well, it’s not Matariki though, is it Megan? Maori used a lunar calendar starting from the first full moon after Matariki appeared, so the day will actually be the 17th July.

Ms Woods: No, no. I assure you. It was the subject of my PhD thesis.

Grant Nisbett: Fair enough Megan. Bryce Edwards described you as having a hefty intellect in his column for Radio NZ the other day and I wouldn’t want to disagree with him, or you. Speaking of that particular adjective; it was also used to describe you by Stuff columnist Paul Gorman on Friday, talking of your ‘hefty workload’, it’s a word that falls naturally to you I think. Do you mind if we call you Hefty?

Ms Woods: Not at all.

Grant Nisbett: Well, Okay. Hefty it is. Bryce also described you as the ‘most left-leaning’ person in parliament, further left than the Greens, and given that your boss was a former head of Socialist Youth International, that’s really saying something.

Hefty: Thank you Comrade, and thanks to Bryce.

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Thoughts and Prayers

All prayers this morning, please direct to the unfortunate flailing reporter required to write something upbeat about the government bench ‘re-shuffle’ which achieved the admirable outcome of replacing a hand containing a pair of three’s with ditto two’s. (Don’t sneer, that’s not easy to do).

Trying to say something positive fell to Henry Cooke at Stuff, poor bugger, who offered the following bait: “She [Woods] has the luxury of designing a new version of KiwiBuild that is actually doable with the help of many officials and a relatively clean slate, something both Twyford and King did not enjoy. She’s written a PhD thesis on New Zealand urbanisation and housing between 1942 and 1969.”

Crikey! A thesis! A thesis on housing and urbanisation nonetheless. I was impressed; I wondered why, given her remarkable knowledge, she didn’t get the job in the first place. So I decided to track the thesis down to see what Labour had been missing but, I gotta’ tell ya’, it wasn’t easy. I called on parliament’s search engine and got a result on ‘PhD’:

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Big Brother has Spoken: You will be ‘De-colonised’

Forget the distractions, and there have been plenty. Within the last two weeks this unelected governing coalition of idiots, incompetents and ideologues showed their hand; they are intent on a revolution which will drive a wedge between New Zealanders.

I am not exaggerating.

The first hint of the propagandising happening since the clown-show took office came on June 10th from the lips of useful idiot Chester Borrows, head of Andrew Little’s ‘Safe and Effective Justice’ advisory group commenting on why our justice system is ‘not fit for purpose’ and about ‘racism embedded in every area of the criminal justice system.’ He placed the root cause of high Maori incarceration at the feet of ‘colonisation’:

“The on-going nature of colonisation, people tend to think of this is something that’s really historic, in actual fact if you take away the economic base of a community and then under-educate them in a foreign language it’s not surprising that a few generations down the track they are corralled in the lowest decile suburbs failing in every area of the social sector and that’s the story of colonisation around the world.”

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Brian Tamaki Is Actually Correct

I’m not fond of Brian Tamaki but rate bullies lower still, especially hypocritical bullies, and even more especially sneering, pseudo-intellectual, hypocritical bullies. Thus I was a little piqued over the caterwauling and the disingenuous ‘complaints’ about Tamaki’s now-notorious Facebook ad citing his disdain for all things Islam-ish.

Good Lord, what a performance: Stuff hyperventilating over the partisan but relatively innocent content, writing about and reproducing it, then running off to Facebppl suggesting that the ad breached their community ‘standards.’ That was followed by Stuff and others of the press-gang gleefully reporting on the subsequent removal of the material while Tamaki, in reply, complained of the press ‘sensationalising’ his utterances. It all reminds me of kids throwing cow-pats at each other but is much less dignified by a considerable factor.

However, it was when Red Radio’s Suzy Ferguson got involved that the real sneering started:

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NZ Media priorities

What does it say about a newspaper with all ‘the latest, breaking news’ when it goes on and on and on about one religious fundamentalist who kicks a football, but means no harm, with story after story of his doings but simply can’t find space for the shocking murder of 30 and injuries to 42 more carried out by religious nutters offended by a group of people watching football?

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