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The golden language: A cautionary tale

Spoken Maori can indeed be beautiful, euphonic and lyrical. It can be stirring and emotional. A close friend remarked how, returning from Europe with his lovely wife on the same flight as the French Rugby-sevens entourage travelling to compete here, they were met at the airport transit area by a group of Wellington East Girls College students assembled to welcome the Gallic footballers in the middle of the night, the very first hour of a Tuesday morning. A call went up in the language of Maori, followed by a powhiri delivered to the Frenchmen by a young lady among the college group of size diminutive but vocal cords impressive entirely in te reo. My friend said ‘Mate; you should have seen it, it was amazing, beautiful, the whole terminal, everybody, just stopped in their tracks to listen and watch’. I wish I had seen it; that young lady was my daughter.     Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

Turf wars and Greens, both very ugly

The Spinoff

Turf wars are ugly whether on an international or a personal level. Typically they will descend to the most bitter hatred and sometimes, unfortunately, the most dreadful of all consequences. They are to be avoided altogether or cauterised very early by submission to a negotiated outcome.

Philosophical turf-wars are much harder to constrain, can be exceptionally vicious, and much longer lasting than an argument over a desk-space, the position of a fence-line, or even an international border. To observe the antics of those involved sometimes disappoints even the most cynical anthropologist as the gloves come off, as the mask of civility drops revealing the truly ugly underbelly of human beings we never thought capable of such hatred and vitriol.     Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

Transcribed exactly as spoken: For immediate release

Satire


Statement of the Prime Minister; the Honourable Jacinda Kate Laurell and Hardy Ardern on falsehoods.

Transcribed, exactly as spoken, by her loyal staff. For immediate release:


Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern winking gif


Uhm. look, I dunno.

People are being mean.

I did not, uhm, ah, lie to the public yesderday.

It was not the public, it was a man, it was just one bloke, uhm, and it was not a lie; he possidively said, my staff transcibed it, ‘are you gunna fire her’ and my answer was of course ‘no’. I saw the transcript, that’s what it, that’s what I said.

That’s what it said I said. That’s what they told me to say, and, keep in mind that I am a bacholeress of poliddical communications, so I am very precise.

Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

Tagged:

Fake news defends the fake news; well, I’ll be darned

Last week President Trump lambasted the negative coverage he receives from media and the apparent bias he detects in google-search results of current events. He is, of course, completely correct, as any conservative current-affairs tragic knows. We rely on our own, trusted, news-feeds to get a more balanced view.

Piqued at their bias being called out the anti-Trump cohort threw together a rebuttal, published at lefty Aussie site ‘The Conversation’ Friday and duly carried by various New Zealand sites yesterday including Stuff who ran it under the headline “Google News serves conservatives and liberals similar results, but favours mainstream media”’, while Newshub went all-in with “Why Trump’s claim of Google News bias is the real ‘fake news” above the identical piece.   Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

Hate-speech and Renee

One night in Paris; Francois-Marie pondered, as was his wont to do. It was 1756. He stared at the blank page before him, took his quill, dipped it with ink and began one of the more profound essays in the history of western thought, so profound that in the space of just one paragraph he penned two timeless and remarkable truths upon the fragility of reason and the danger of absurdity. Truths that would be consistently ignored; right up and into the 21st century. He wrote:

“Once your beliefs persuade you to believe what your intelligence declares to be absurd, beware, lest you likewise sacrifice your reason in the conduct of your life. In days gone by, there were people who said to us: “You believe in incomprehensible, contradictory and impossible things because we have commanded you to; now then, commit unjust acts because we likewise order you to do so.” Nothing could be more convincing. Certainly anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.”   Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

A media man of ‘ethics’

**This post was written on Thursday.


How you do the fake news, and what to expect later today.

In 12 hours, or so, the printing presses and screens of America will begin rolling out a coordinated series of simultaneous anti-Trump editorials criticising the president’s ‘attacks’ on the press.

In somewhat of a pep-talk ‘respected’ instructor of journalists specialising in “ethics”, Al Tompkins of the Poynter Institute, whose works on ethics are used in 125 universities around the world, penned some pointers of his own to his disciples.

His missive began, in the opening gambit, with a false-premise; a (deliberate) mis-quote of Trump: “Right off the top, let me say that I wish the president would knock it off with the “the press is the enemy of the people” nonsense.”

Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

Mere stuff and nonsense and the dishonesty of Philip Matthews

The first recorded use of the word ‘stuff’ was in a phrase: “mere stuff and nonsense” carried in a column by an edition of The Times newspaper appearing in 1827 when commenting on the very low merit of a speech given in parliament at the time. Stuff serving, in the phrase, as the intensifier of nonsense. As it does today.

It seems the modern media company of that name has determined to sink their standard well below mere stuff and nonsense in the debate over freedom of expression. They are now plumbing insincerity and dishonesty into the pipes of a once-respected organ. A couple of days ago they published Tom Scott’s vile cartoon pretending that ‘free speech’ somehow assisted Hitler to power and associated the alleged freedom granted The National Socialist German Workers Party as leading to the ugliness of concentration camps and subsequent awful racial and ethnic cleansing of ‘The Final Solution’.   Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

A solution without a problem: A case study

They have just one decision to make, but two choices; so Greater Wellington Regional Council stepped in to allay the dilemma facing commuters. GWRC is riddled with greenies and socialists.

To understand the socialist solution we must first try to understand, if at all possible, how socialists think. At its core socialism is arrogant condescension:

They: are extremely clever, and must make all decisions, for our own good.

We: are extremely stupid, and cannot decide, so must have our betters think for us.    Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

Hey, Simon. Show us your map!

Men don’t need maps, and women can’t read ’em. As for non-binary-gender types; I don’t know, maybe they hold maps upside-down and scream at them to conform to their own particular world-view.

But there is a bloke that needs to let us in on what course he is on, what route he is taking, because, as of now, it isn’t clear. I’m talking about Mr Bridges and the road back to government. It’s important because we need National back in power; urgently before all the parties end up burning the house down in the absence of grown-ups.    Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.

‘A tribe there that just aren’t pleased to see you in government’

John Campbell

Last night you-beaut, legend-in-his-own-mind, the master interviewer, the master of the English language, interviewed prime mum-minister alluding to the hard questions and answering them himself so she didn’t have to (isn’t that condescending, another consequence of the patriarchal hegemony I suppose; the chivalrous class-war hero unable to help himself but lay down his cloak, covering the pile of steaming discontent that she might not step in it, that her eyes may not be drawn to it, nor words of the mess be forced to pass her lips).

In his own impeccable tongue: (at 6.10): “Fir, fir, first of all; people are saying business confidence is at its lowest level, in the survey, since the GFC, so, so, th’, so there’s a tribe there that just aren’t pleased to see you in government […]”

Read more »

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes to the daily paper despite his distillation of dismay and disappointment at the very low standards of the modern press on every opening of the awful rag.

He is married, to an obviously very unfortunate woman, and has a family who allegedly loves him despite his right-wing nut-job views on life and the meaning of. He believes laughter is the best medicine for whatever ails you, closely, very closely, followed by wine. He hopes to reach retirement, both alive and eventually.

To read my previous articles click on my name in blue.