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The shocking truth about Brown supremacy in NZ

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A regular column by John Black
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This week John Black is volunteering at a leper colony in East Africa. His place is taken by a well-known television reporter…

THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT BROWN SUPREMACY IN NEW ZEALAND

A brave expose by a very brave and important reporter.

Being a fearless reporter that is also brave, when the boss asked me to investigate brown supremacy in New Zealand I knew things could get rough. What I didn’t realize was how rough. What I uncovered almost made me soil my Barker’s Menswear suit (the Hampton charcoal with waistcoat). Yes, this investigation was to take a serious personal toll.

I would even have to leave the office.

True, it was only to get a soy latte, but I needed it to stay awake while I surfed the internet all night.

That’s where I started. The internet. I hadn’t really been a fan previously. I mainly used it to order handmade Italian ties and book Austrian skiing holidays. But I thought I knew its dangers. Once when the wife was away I got lonely, locked my bedroom door and spent three hours googling myself.

I felt ashamed after. Only three measly hits.

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Daily code cracker

Welcome to our daily code cracker.

Readers have requested a daily code cracker so we have sourced one from the same quality provider as our daily crossword.

It is available for ALL readers who have a subscription package with Whaleoil.

Now you can safely cancel your newspaper subscription as your final remaining reason to keep it has now gone. Instead, you can sign up for one of our subscription packages and enjoy both sudoku and crosswords online on Whaleoil.

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Golly G’s source of inspiration.

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The tale of the wicked giant: Part 4

The Tale of the Wicked Giant, by Sir Bob Jones, part four. (If you’ve missed the previous installments, just click on ExPFC in blue at the bottom of the page to catch up).

Government again found he was short of money and again he borrowed from the people and hoped that something would happen to solve his problem. When nothing did, Government became concerned, for he remembered the fuss when he took Monday afternoon’s output, so he consulted with the malcontents about his dilemma.

The malcontents formed a committee of inquiry which soon came up with an answer. ‘We are the experts on rights,’ they said, ‘It follows that if the people have a natural human right to schools and hospitals and homes, it is a natural law of balance that you have the right to tell them what to do. It is perfectly fair and only a fool would not see it so. Anyway, as we are the experts on rights so we must be right and there is no problem.’

On learning this Government realised he had been silly to fear the people’s wrath and in a loud voice he declared that henceforth they must give him Tuesday morning’s work as well as Monday’s, adding, as the malcontents had told him, that this was for their greater good.

Some of the people asked Government how was he so certain and, following the advice of the malcontents, he replied, ‘I can prove it to be, the evidence being that I have said so.’

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Daily code cracker

Welcome to our daily code cracker.

Readers have requested a daily code cracker so we have sourced one from the same quality provider as our daily crossword.

It is available for ALL readers who have a subscription package with Whaleoil.

Now you can safely cancel your newspaper subscription as your final remaining reason to keep it has now gone. Instead, you can sign up for one of our subscription packages and enjoy both sudoku and crosswords online on Whaleoil.

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