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Aids Foundation street graffiti causing outrage

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Aids Foundation spray painted message on Ponsonby Road

It seems that the Aids Foundation has been painting safe sex messages on the streets of Ponsonby ahead of a festival on Ponsonby Road later tonight. Which would be well and good if it was only adults using the streets all of the time.

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Gay parade here this evening, which is fine for those who want to go and see it.

However stencilled, painted messages appeared on the footpaths all along Ponsonby and Jervois Roads a few days ago. Put there by the Aids Foundation, who said it was their work when phoned.    Read more »

A true tale of seduction [plus POLL]

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Let me tell you a little story…it is a true one and only the names have been changed.

My mate Martyn is the GM of a company where the majority of the workforce wear steel-caps and overalls…in other words not a company where the workers sitting around on computers all day. They work with their hands and the work is hot and dirty.

He was telling me about one of his employees who we shall call Carl.

Carl is a bit of a ladies man and single…before Christmas he hooked up with a trolley dolly who by all accounts was a spectacular root and very adventurous in the scratcher. Apparently there wasn’t anything that she wouldn’t do and had a voracious sexual appetite that knew no boundaries. Carl by all accounts is no dud root himself. Read more »

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Bertolli Olive Oil advertising bludgers

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I periodically receive emails from spammers contacting me via the blog. They always want guest posts, always explain how they have been published at other sites and how their fantastic writing will generate massive amounts of traffic for me…and them. The proposals are usually from little known people with silly emails and get binned.

Once in a while though a reputable company and brand contacts me. The pitch is essentially the same…and they never want to pay for the privilege of embedding their brand in my blog.

Take Bertolli Olive Oil. They are a major corporate brand, part of the massive Unilever group. They don’t do anything for nothing…except try and bludge social media traffic off large traffic blog sites. Check out this email:

Tue, Jun 11, 2013 at 8:23 PM

From: Matilda Aldridge <matilda.aldridge[at]wearesocial.net>

To: whaleoilbeefhooked[at]@gmail.com

Hi there,

I hope you are well.

I’m currently contacting top bloggers for a campaign that Bertolli Olive Oil is about to launch. Bertolli has been on the market for 150 years and is the leading olive oil brand in the world. I believe your blog would be a great fit for this campaign.

We would love to get you involved and give you the opportunity to establish a long-term partnership with Bertolli Olive Oil.   Read more »

The amazing list of things extracted from people’s anal cavity

Vice has an article by a doctor about the things she has had to do to remove all nature of items from the rectal cavities of patients:

As we have seen with the vagina and penis, people will insert any available object into any available hole, and the anus is by far the favorite. We get at least five a week with non-kosher shit up their ass. The only real pleasure in treating patients with foreign objects in their anuses is listening to their excuses. One man claimed he kept his cucumbers in the shower, and had slipped and landed on it, hence why it was irretrievably lost in his anal passage.

Rectal vegetables are not unusual. The only limitation of the range of objects found in the anus is the capacity of the rectum to accommodate them. People are incredibly imaginative when it comes to autoerotic anal stimulation. Who looks at their hard-boiled egg at the breakfast table and decides it’d look better in your ass?  Read more »

I am not worthy

I’ve have been described previously as “a nasty bastard“, amongst other unrepeatable things. I have seen politicians cross roads and crowded halls to avoid having to speak to me and National doesn’t even want me as a member.

But I simply am not worthy when it comes to blogging compared with Dan Savage.

If you don’t want people to say mean things about you, don’t go into politics (or blogging). And when they do (and they will) it is never smart to whine about the mean mean meanies who are so mean to you. Not only will you gain no sympathy or new support, but then everyone will be repeating all those mean things and chuckling.

But former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. And he had been the subject of a cruel (but well deserved) prank for a very long time.

After Santorum’s vile statement in 2003 in which he discussed his support for anti-gay sodomy laws in terms of bestiality and incest, Dan Savage decided to have a little fun. He held a contest for a new definition for “santorum” and the winner was:

    The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

Spreading Santorum webpage was set up for tracking the extent to which the new definition could be detected in culture and it was clever enough that it drew web traffic placing it as the first listing when “santorum” was googled. And so there it sat as the first result through the rest of Rick Santorum’s term as Senator and his failed reelection bid.

Outstanding. I think I have found a new blogging mentor.

But with his presidential campaign, there was a pretty good chance that eventually “Rick Santorum for President” along with news articles about the campaign would have gotten the traffic necessary to push the aging joke off of the front page. And it likely would have, were it not for the actions of two people.

First, Savage encouraged his readers to go back and select the link to keep it active in the Google search matrices. Enough responded to keep Savage’s santorum link in place ahead of the candidate’s page. In fact, the campaign site was fourth, after a Wikipedia article and another site’s reference to Savage’s definition.

But the real boost to Spreading Santorum came from none other than Rick Santorum himself. On July 18 he went on a radio show to complain about the way he was being mistreated by Savage and in addition to some recent comments also noted the website. And then someone with a whole lot of hero worship and no political sense must have advised the next move: Santorum sent out afund raising letter with the following sentence:

Remember this is not the first time Savage has attacked us on our stance of supporting American values. Savage and his perverted sense of humor is the reason why my children cannot Google their father’s name.

And when this letter was published on Politico on July 20, which turned into articles in the media, just what do you suppose that people did? Obviously they set out to find out why you couldn’t google “Santorum”.

But July 22, the presidential campaign link had dropped to eighth place behind:

The campaign site has now moved back up into sixth place. But Savage is goading Rick Santorum, threatening to make his first name into a vulgar word as well. I guess now we’ll have to wait and see if Sen. Santorum is so very incredibly stupid that he bites at the bait.

I bow before the blogging  brilliance of Dan Savage. Politicians, especially, should NFWAB.

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