Chris Neiratko

How to have sex with strippers and keep your cash

Vice.com

Chris Neiratko has put a lot of time and effort into researching how you can have sex with strippers and still?have?money in your pocket…way too much time:

Most people think the way to a stripper?s pussy is with money, buying lap dance after lap dance, throwing stacks of singles on stage as they dance, and surprising them with expensive gifts. Those people are idiots. ?Marks,? as the girls call them. Someone to be siphoned until not one drop of cash is left.

There is only one surefire way to pull a stripper and it has nothing to with personality or money (although those things don?t hurt). The secret is DRUGS.

Contrary to what many pro-stripper films and documentaries tell you, 9 out of 10 strippers are on drugs of some sort.* Be it coke, dust, weed, pills, booze, if a girl?s job is to climb up on stage and spread her gash for a bunch of sweaty, over-weight mutts in ill-fitting work clothes you?d better believe it takes a certain type of courage that can only be had from illegal substances. Knowing that, the key to making a needy young sex kitten your slave for the night (or the week) is to always be holding. But you have to make sure you?re carrying the right stuff for the type of stripper you?re trying to bang. It just so happens that this whole thing can be broken down racially. Along with the genetic yarns that make a woman a certain color go these little strands that decide their drug proclivities. Don?t freak out?I didn?t write the rules here. God did. I just follow them.