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Taking a business call in the bathtub??

Joan Rivers Life Lessons…

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery

Joan Rivers? humour was not for the faint of heart, or the thin-skinned. The sometimes ruthless comedienne,?took no prisoners when it came to put-down comedy; even a breezy stroll down the red carpet had the potential to become a roast when she was around. She was as hard working a performer as Hollywood has seen, and her success — at least in her view — never matched her ambitions. She didn?t necessarily struggle for money, but she needed to work constantly in order to maintain a lavish lifestyle, which included a palace-like apartment in Manhattan.

?I live very well,? she said in the 2010 documentary ?Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.? ?I enjoy my creature comforts, and I know I have to work for it.?

?Nothing has ever come easily for me,? Rivers once?said ?My whole career has just been hard, hurting, little steps. ?

I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

– Joan Rivers

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Paki has the shits with another Paki, Complains, Doesn’t Blow Him Up

The British politically correct stasi just keep on making dicks of themselves…now they have spoken to a comedian about his show because he uses the word ‘Paki’ in it…and the comedian is a Paki himself.

A British-Asian comedian has been questioned by police over accusations that he was inciting racial hatred by using the word ?Paki? in his act.

Jeff Mirza, who was born in Pakistan but brought up in Essex, was questioned over the use of the term in his act ?Meet Abu Hamsta and Paki Bashir? at the Edinburgh Fringe.

The complaint came from another man of Pakistani background, who claimed he was upset by a poster for the show, which attempts to ?reclaim? the use of the racially offensive term.? Read more »


What does it take to get rid of a dud judge?

Dud judges cause no end of grief. But what does it take to get rid of dud judges.

Take Philippa Cunningham…she is the judge who thought “The Comedian” child sex offender should be discharged without conviction because amongst other things he?”makes people laugh”. That decision was overturned on appeal?after the Crown challenged Cunningham’s original sentence. He was then sentenced to 8 months home detention.

Now Cunningham is making news again with another of her pathetic sentences overturned.

A man who was sentenced to home detention after permanently disabling an elderly woman when he robbed her at an Auckland shopping mall has had his home-based sentenced quashed and a prison sentence of more than twice the original length imposed.

Darrin Murphy Fidow was originally sentenced to nine months’ home detention after being convicted on aggravated robbery and burglary charges. ?? Read more »

Whale Week What Was

682zoomWe started our Saturday by paying our respects to?Norman Schwarzkopf Jr., the hard-charging US Army general whose forces smashed the Iraqi army in the 1991 Gulf War. ?He died aged 78. ?At The Standard 2012 Worst Political Blog Mike Smith is told some home truths about long term grass-roots Labour families heading for the Greens. ?A quick vid on how to put out a boat fire the Kiwi way is next, followed by a vote for Best Minister. ?The winner, at 52%, is Judith Collins. ?The Whale Week That Was summarised all the stories this blog covered in the previous seven days. ?A quite active Saturday Debate (for the time of year especially) led a post calling for nominations for Best Political Blog. ?Those who see WOBH as any sort of threat to them (and those that don’t too), should take heed of this Malcolm Tucker quote: “marshal all the media forces of Darkness to hound them to an assisted suicide”.? A CNN piece showing Teachers in Utah taking a class on gun use shows some common sense around the gun debate. ?A reader has taken yesterday’s US Fiscal Cliff graphic and created one for New Zealand – great work. ?As Cameron Slater predicted from the outset, the Aussie Hoax DJs will not face charges. ?The NZ Herald continues to amuse – this time a car crashed into a poll. ?The blog then introduces us to two sexy taxidermists showing you don’t have to look like a front row forward to deal with dead animals. ?And you’d think we’re picking on an incompetent NZ Herald, and you would be right. ?This time they have Jesse Ryder beating himself at Eden Park in Wellington. ?Then a hilarious story about a Queensland woman who fell into the longdrop and was there for two hours before being discovered by her husband. ? Turns out that during the Falklands War the French tried to send missiles to Argentinia behind Margaret Thatcher‘s back. ?Commerce first eh? ?The last post of the day highlights a report of a man holding up a Countdown Supermarket with a hammer. ?Our readers get fired up about the idea of hammer banning.

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Not laughing now, Ctd

? NZ Herald

Oh woe is me, the poor hard done by kiddy fiddler comedian isn’t kaughing now and so he has got his pals in the media to do a cry me a river of tears write up about how hard life is for him.

Well boo-fucking-hoo cupcake:

A comedian who sexually assaulted his four-year-old daughter has managed to rebuild his life since his drunken crime but his career has been tarred.

The man has been relegated to “back room capacity” at the company where he was a reputable employee before the offending.

District Court Judge Mark Perkins said the comedian had faced a “serious decline” in the work available to him because despite permanent name suppression and having originally been discharged for his offending, his identity was known to many in the industry.

He has repaired relationships with his family and been abstinent from alcohol for two years, and today his job was put under further pressure when he was sentenced in Auckland District Court to eight months home detention.

Judge Perkins said the sentence needed to reflect the “culpability and criminality” of the comedian’s crime, after he was originally discharged without conviction.

Forget about travel to the US too, pal. They aren’t big on criminals traveling there, let alone someone convicted of sex crimes.

Not so funny now

? 3 News

The?comedian?who a judge thought should be discharged without conviction because “he made people laugh” probably isn’t laughing today, after the Crown appealed his sentence and another judge didn’t think he was that funny at all:

A comedian who admitted to sexually assaulting his daughter has been sentenced to eight months home detention.

The man, who has permanent name suppression, appeared in the Auckland District Court this morning.

He had pleaded guilty in March last year to performing an indecent act on a child, but was discharged without conviction in August.

The District Court judge at the time said the consequences of a conviction would outweigh the gravity of the offence against the child, noting the man was a talented comedian who made people laugh.

Following a Crown appeal to the High Court at Auckland in April, Justice Murray Gilbert ruled the comedian should be resentenced.

DISCLAIMER: I was convicted of the summary offence of naming The Comedian.

Of course he got off – he makes people laugh after all


Ben Boyce probably used the stack standard comedian’s defence, because he makes people laugh he gets off:

TV star and comedian Ben Boyce has been discharged without conviction for a botched fake pilot stunt which was condemned by the aviation industry and Prime Minister John Key.

The former Pulp Sport star was discharged, alongside The Rock host Bryce Casey and TV producer Andrew Robinson at the Manukau District Court today.

At a sentence indication hearing in May, the trio were warned they could face up to 12 months in prison and a $10,000 fine.

Boyce was told if he paid the police $2000 in reparation and completed 75 hours community work he could be granted a discharge.

The trio were charged with providing false information in an attempt to gain access to a secure area after a skit for the TV3 series WannaBen in September 2011 went wrong.

During the stunt, Casey was dressed in a pilot’s uniform and tried to get past security at Auckland Airport during the Rugby World Cup and close to the 9/11 terror attacks anniversary.

But he was spotted by security and Boyce – who masterminded the stunt – and the TV crew were arrested.