cosmetic surgery

No longer vain for men to go under the knife

It’s no longer vain for men to go under the knife. Even political party presidents are having botox and metrosexual preparations:

According to the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), there were 69,812 cosmetic surgery procedures performed in 2011, and a further 31,000 non-surgical procedures, such as Botox injections and laser treatments. (This represented a hefty drop on 2010, when a total of 164,000 procedures were performed – a decrease the ASPS blames on the GFC.)

The traditional market for this has, of course, been women. Increasingly, however, men are following suit. ASPS doesn’t categorise procedures by gender, but the society’s NSW president, Dr Graham Sellars, says he sees more men every year. “Across the board, cosmetic procedures are more socially acceptable, probably because of reality TV and glossy mags that broach the subject more openly and frequently. And that acceptance is extending to men. The fact that Gordon Ramsay and Mickey Rourke have both admitted to having surgery certainly hasn’t hurt.”

Sellars has performed most of the common procedures men undergo: Botox, ear corrections, eyelid surgery, tummy and arm tucks, “moob jobs” (breast reductions for men) and, most popularly, rhinoplasty. The only ones he hasn’t tackled are calf and buttock implants, penile enlargements and the terrifying-sounding scrotal lift, for guys who want to tidy up their dangling testicles.

Som politicians need surgery to give them some balls.

The ideal breast shape?

Apparently a plastic surgeon in the UK has discovered this elusive goal:

In a plastic surgeon’s quest to find the ideal female proportions, he turned to 100 glamour models..

It sounds almost like parody – a top consultant plastic surgeon spends three months studying models appearing on Page 3 of a bestselling British red-top newspaper. Later this month he reveals his findings: the mathematical proportions of the perfect breast.

Of course, the subjectivity of such a statement can’t be ignored – not to mention the somewhat dubious nature of the source material. But astonishingly, when shown computer mock-ups of the female form based on these equations, most women agree that they are indeed the ideal vital statistics.

Incredibly, although breast augmentation – or the boob job, as it is commonly known – has long been the most popular cosmetic surgery procedure, nobody within the industry has ever quantified the measurements and proportions that make a breast appealing to the eye.

And this energetic plastic surgeon has put in the time and research and finally nailed the magic formula.

For the first time plastic surgeons now have a powerful visual imagery of the proportions that make a breast attractive. ‘Now we can show women images to highlight shape and form that will actually give them what they want,’ says Mallucci.

Software has been developed using three-dimensional, predictive photography to enable surgeons to show patients on a screen how their own breasts would look with implants of different shapes and sizes.

‘Many women seek breast surgery after pregnancy has left them with deflated breasts and comment that they’d like fullness added to the top.

‘But when shown an image of a woman’s breasts that fit the 45:55 ratio versus breasts that have more fullness on the upper pole, very few women ever then select the latter.’

As Mallucci concludes, it’s not that most surgeons don’t know what makes a breast attractive, it’s just that nobody’s studied and defined it before. In theory it could lead to a reduction in the number of poor boob jobs.

I’m all for the reduction in the number of poor boob jobs.

The features analysed were the dimensions of the upper and lower pole, medical terms that describe the areas above and below the nipple; plus the angle at which the nipple points and the slope of the upper pole.

‘The study revealed that in all cases the nipple ‘‘meridian’’ – the horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple – lay at a point where, on average, the proportion of the breast above it represented 45 per cent of overall volume of the breast and below it 55 per cent.

‘In the majority of cases the upper pole was either straight or concave, and the nipple was pointing skywards at an average angle of 20 degrees. In all cases the breasts demonstrated a tight convex lower pole – a neat but voluminous curve.

It looks like this:

Dog bites fool

Good job is all I can say

A drunken man who thought it would be a good prank to pull a dog’s tongue has suffered serious facial injuries after the dog bit his mouth.

The 39-year-old National Park resident was partying at a friend’s house on Wednesday when he grabbed the large crossbreed dog and held it down while trying to grab its tongue.

The dog managed to free itself and lunged at the man’s face, biting the corners of his mouth, Constable Conrad Smith said.

The man was taken to Taumarunui Hospital and later flown to Waikato Hospital. He was in a stable condition last night, a hospital spokeswoman said.

“He had lost a lot of blood,” Mr Smith said. “It is likely he will need cosmetic surgery to repair the wounds.”

The dog was impounded overnight but returned yesterday to its owner, whose house the party was held in.

Hope it hurt.

Good to see the dog was returned, they must have a sensible copper down that way. I imagine he couldn’t stop laughing at the fool who got bit though.